Emotional Intelligence

The daily challenge of dealing effectively with emotions is critical to the human condition because our brains are hard-wired to give emotions the upper hand.

Emotions can help you and they can also hurt you, but you have no say in the matter until you understand them.

A global deficit in understanding and managing emotions remains. Only 36% of the people are able to accurately identify their emotions as they happen. This means that two-thirds of us are typically controlled by our emotions and are not yet skilled at spotting them and using them to our benefit.

Emotional awareness and Emotional Understanding are not taught in school. We enter the workforce knowing how to read, write and report on bodies of knowledge; but too often we lack the skills to manage our emotions in the heat of the challenging problems we face.

Emotional Intelligence is:

1. Your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others.
2. Your ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships.
3. Intangible and affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, make personal decisions that achieve positive results.

EQ is so critical to success that it accounts for 58% of performance in all types of jobs. It is the single biggest predictor of performance in the workplace and the strongest driver of leadership and personal excellence.

Intelligence is your ability to learn, and it is the same at age 15 as it is at age 50. While EQ is a flexible skill that can be learned over time, and you can become better at it.

There are four emotional intelligence skills that can be paired up under two primary competencies:

Personal competence: self-awareness and self-management

o??Focus more on you individually than your interactions with people.

o??It is your ability to stay aware of your emotions and manage your behavior and tendencies.

Social competence: social awareness and relationship management

o?? Your ability to understand other people’s mood, behavior, and motives in order to improve the quality of your relationship.

A short note about the four skills:

1.?????? Self – Awareness:

a.?????? It is your ability to accurately perceive your emotions in the moment. It helps you quickly make sense of your emotions.

b.?????? The only way to genuinely understand your emotions is to spend enough time thinking through them to figure out where they come from and why they are there. However, it is important to maintain an optimistic attitude as you may get digressed into negative thoughts.

c.?????? 83% of people high in self-awareness are top performers. While just 2% of bottom performers are high in self-awareness.

d.?????? When you are self-aware you are far more likely to pursue the right opportunities, put your strengths to work and keep your emotions from holding you back.

?2.?????? Self – Management:

a.?????? It is your ability to use your awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and direct your behavior positively.

b.?????? Those who manage themselves the best can see things through without cracking.

c.?????? Real results come from putting your momentary needs on hold to pursue larger and more important goals.

?3.?????? Social Awareness:

a.?????? Listening and observing are the most important pillars of this skill.

b.?????? And for this, we must:

???????i.?Stop multi-tasking

ii.????? Stop talking

??????iii.????? Stop the monologue in our minds

??????iv.????? Stop using our gadgets

??????v.????? Focus on the person opposite to us

??????vi.????? Look into their eyes

??????vii.????? Understand their body language

??????viii.????? Delve into their minds to understand their emotions

?4.?????? Relationship Management:

a.?????? It is your ability to use your awareness of your emotions and those of others to manage interactions successfully.

b.?????? This ensures clear communication and effective handling of conflicts.

c.?????? Conflicts at work tend to explode when people don’t manage their anger or frustration, and choose to take it out on other people.

Recently, at one of the training sessions I attended on Emotional Intelligence, I have some key learnings and takeaways as below:

1.?????? It is the IQ that gets you hired, but it is the EQ that gets you promoted.

2.?????? EQ accounts for 58% of your success in life – professional and personal.

1.?????? The CEO Level in the organization is proven to have the lowest EQ (on average).

2.?????? Generation Y (Millennials) are expected to have the lowest level of self-management.

Conclusion:

1. Use your self-awareness skills to notice your feelings and judge if your needs are being satisfied.
2. Use your self-management skills to express your feelings and act accordingly to benefit the connection.
3. Use your social awareness skills to better understand the other persons needs and feelings.
4. And since you are half of any relationship, you have half of the responsibility of deepening these connections.