Emotional Intelligence With CliftonStrengths

As a strong believer of the strengths-based approach, I have been integrating emotional intelligence with strengths intelligence as I practice the ontological approach to coaching. It is something I have been experimenting with over the past few years. This article explores how I have been integrating these two areas of human intelligence. Specifically, this article talks about how I have been using the CliftonStrengths profiling to enhance emotional intelligence.

If you google emotional intelligence, you will come across four components, namely self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management. This article is written by exploring these four specific components of emotional intelligence.

SELF-AWARENESS

In the context of emotional intelligence, self-awareness is basically the ability to see how our emotional states affect our daily living such as our decision making or our communication with others. In essence, it is the ability to know ourselves and understand our feelings.

For example, when we are in an emotional state of anger, we are pre-disposed to retaliate in words or in action. When we are in an emotional state of curiosity, we are pre-disposed to ask questions and gain new knowledge and understanding.

The use of CliftonStrengths can help individuals understand the likely emotional habits they might have built over time (albeit subconsciously). For example, someone who has high Responsibility Theme might have developed emotional habits such as anxiety, worry, fear etc. Individuals with the Responsibility theme are pre-disposed to feeling burdened because of the sense of responsibility they carry. In Singapore, some with the Responsibility theme might even be labeled as being a “kancheong spider” (a term used to describe someone who is often flustered while dealing with a high level of anxiety).

Another example, using a combination of two CliftonStrengths themes: Individuals with both the Activator and Achiever theme primarily focus on getting things started and getting tasks done. They might be pre-disposed to developing the emotional habit of ambition and perhaps less likely to experience the emotional state of calmness or peace. The emotional habits we practiced are often formed out of the natural instincts to think, feel and behave.

As a coach, I personally feel that gaining this insight empowers individuals to have the choice of building new emotional habits to expand their human capacity and deepen their level of maturity. This knowledge also helps individuals to build deeper self awareness through the perspective of emotional habits. This provides a more comprehensive understanding of themselves.

SELF-MANAGEMENT

In the context of emotional intelligence, self-management is basically the ability to regulate our emotions in different situations and not let our emotions get the better of us. It can also be seen as emotional regulation and self control.

When individuals used the CliftonStrengths tool, knowing the basement (infancy) and balcony (mature) state of the CliftonStrengths themes empowers them to better regulate their behaviors and actions. From knowing our basement and balcony state, we can more deliberately match our thoughts, feelings and behaviors to the different situations and contexts for greater effect. The ability to regulate our behaviors help us to be more emotionally intelligent.

Example: The basement state of the Harmony theme includes sweeping things under the carpet or keeping silent in the face of questionable behaviors, usually for fear of conflicts. When an individual intentionally regulate his or her behavior and grows towards a more mature or balcony state of Harmony, it is a hallmark of being emotionally intelligent.

On the flip side, not developing the Harmony theme towards maturity might result in some kind of long term negative consequences. As a coach, I often observe that resentment is a negative emotional habit produced as a result of not maturing the CliftonStrengths theme of Harmony. This emotional state of resentment often produces more harm for individuals and hinder their ability to do effective self management.

SOCIAL AWARENESS

In the context of emotional intelligence, social awareness is basically the ability to identify the emotions of others and use that knowledge to demonstrate empathy, connect with others and be inclusive. It is about how we relate with others, especially with people who are very different from us. While some view diversity as a fact of life, the idea of “common sense” shows that people expect some kind of uniformity in behaviors.

CliftonStrengths helps in two ways.

Firstly, it provides data statistically to show the odds of two persons having the same five themes in the same order is 1 in 33million. This data has often helped those who need proof and evidence to embrace the diversity of those they work with.

Secondly, the CliftonStrengths profiles and write ups provide a language in how people with certain themes think, feel and behave differently. This means that individuals and leaders can now use the strengths language intentionally to relate and interact with others.

For example, a person with the Relator theme often prefers deep conversation in a one to one setting. When a leader intentionally sets up regular one to one catch ups with the Relator, with both parties able to propose agendas for the conversation, trust and connection starts building up for both sides. The CliftonStrengths tool allows leaders to strengthen their emotional intelligence by customizing approaches that meet the needs of different individuals.

RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT

In the context of emotional intelligence, relationship management is basically the ability to collaborate, build trust and manage interpersonal conflicts.

The CliftonStrengths tool helps individuals to identify their strengths lens and understand potential bias and blindspots. When individuals start to do their own inner work and uncover these blindspots, they can make more appropriate and productive social decisions in different situations.

For example, individuals with the Deliberative theme see that their unique lens are often that of risk assessment. They will take time to consider the different risks before they act. Part of making more appropriate and productive decisions could include making appropriate requests to others. In working with others, they might make known their decision making process and request for adequate time and space to make a decision. This allows them to be better collaborators and that is a mark of demonstrating high emotional intelligence.

The CliftonStrengths tool also helps individuals manage conflicts by identifying what others might be thinking, feeling and needing. For example, a frustrated Analytical person might be thinking “where is the proof? What reliable data are we depending on? To resolve the potential conflict is to understand an Analytical person needs to have different data points that can withstand scrutiny. Meeting the needs of those we work with will help us manage conflicts and build stronger emotional intelligence.

The CliftonStrengths profiles also reveal, through the different themes, how individuals need to tap into certain strengths that enhance emotional intelligence for a particular situation and downplay those that hinder emotional intelligence. When individuals do that intentionally, they can make more situationally appropriate social decisions and moves.

For example, when an individual with both Achiever and Learner theme is trying to understand why a colleague has not completed a given task, the Achiever could possibly be more judgmental while the Learner could be more curious in this context. Tuning up the Learner theme and tuning down the Achiever will probably help this individual make a more appropriate social response.

Ending note: As an ontological practitioner, I embrace the idea that humans perform at a greater capacity when they see their strengths and emotional habits as integrated. I am happy to report that coaching clients have given me feedback that this integrated approach has empowered them to gain clarity of their inner life and has given greater ownership towards transforming their lives.

Written by Victor Seet

Check out his website (victor-seet.com) for practical leadership coaching insights.