The "Emotional Health" Entry

As humans, we are the physical body, the mind(soul) and the spirit.

A lot of the time we focus on the growth of the body everyone can see. We put in work at the gym, eat good, wear great outfits, get our hair done, etc.?

I mean, no one wants to look rusty when they’re outside??

Unfortunately, we don’t do a lot of taking care of the emotional part of our soul.?

There are things to do to take care of the other parts of the body. You want to get fit, go to the gym. You want to build your spirit, go to your place of worship. But what do you do with your emotion??

There are usually two extremes;?

1. We Completely neglect them
2. We let them totally take control?

Emotions have been neglected so much in the past. We were taught to stash away our feelings and never speak about them.?That they are not important because focusing on emotions will make you act solely with them.

More recently, we are learning to speak up more abut how we feel. Unfortunately, it means some people act completely out of emotions without thinking of how their actions affect others.?

Last year I fell in love with a series on Netflix; Bojack Horseman. It was a very eye-opening watch for me.

The main character kept making the worst decisions possible and at first, I blamed him for them.?

Later on in the show, we are shown the horrible childhood he had and it gives an understanding into the reason he is the way he is.?

But as the show progressed, I went back to being annoyed.?

I mean I completely understood why he felt the way he did. His emotions were valid, but the actions that stemmed from those emotions were quite questionable.

The main character kept using the excuse of his past and his emotions to mess up not just his life, but the lives of others.?

And the worse part? He genuinely saw himself as the victim.

If you watch the show you would probably dislike his character as much as I do, till you realize that a lot of people do just that. Especially now.?

We are learning more and more to accept emotions, but not how to not act solely on them.?

So what is the solution?

God knows the reason he created us with both emotional and logical thinking abilities. They’re both important. No one is meant to be kept aside. Instead, they should both be applied for balance.?

This is one of the things I’m learning on my growth journey; how to acknowledge my emotions and take responsibility for my actions.?

I’ll share what I’ve learnt.

1. Your emotions are valid. There’s a reason you feel the way you do, don’t push it aside. I used to do that a lot especially with negative emotions like anger, jealousy, anxiety, etc. But that never helped. The more I acted like I was not feeling those emotions, the more they grew. Acknowledging my negative emotions is the only way I have been able to overcome them.
2. There’s a reason you feel that way. Acknowledging that you feel that way is the first step, finding out why is the second. When you know why, it’s easier because now you know the actions that lead to your negative and positive emotions.
3. Communicate your emotions. There’s this sentence I’ve seen over and over on Twitter, “everyone knows what they’re doing.” While it is be true, it can also be false. How will people know that they’re hurting you if you don’t speak up?? As humans, we’re different. The things that you see as important might not be so much to others. Speak up about how you feel!?Do not keep hiding your feelings till they blow up.
4. Do not purposely put yourself situations that you know will trigger negative emotions! I know this sounds like a no-brainer but until last year, I was a victim of this????♀? An example would be that whenever I went on a particular social media platform, I would get so angry. I never really acted on this emotion by replying people online, but I realized that it colored my perspective in real life. I grew a bias towards certain groups of people because of the way one of them spoke online. I had to catch myself and take a break from that platform for a long time. I’m back on there now but I make sure to not interact with posts that I know will stir up anger. No matter how many times a video shows up on my screen, if I know what is being said will annoy me, I don’t click on it. It’s one thing to control the negative emotions you didn’t expect, it’s another to purposely put yourself in a position to feel bad.?
5. The last thing I learnt is to only say & do things I will be proud of later. You have probably heard to count to 10 whenever you’re angry, I know it seems impractical especially when you just want to scream back, but trust me it works. Whatever strong negative emotions you feel, be it anger or anxiety, by 10 you’ll be a little calmer and in a better position to say or do things that you will not regret.?

Embrace your emotions, they are a part of you. But let them be just that, a part. Do not let them control you entirely.?

And when you find yourself in the position of doing what you should not have, be accountable for your actions. It’s very important.?That is the only way to learn to avoid the same thing repeating itself.

Mental and physical maturity are important, but so is emotional maturity.

Would you like to share lessons you have learnt in emotional growth in the comments? I would love to read them.

I wish you a blessed week!?

See you next Sunday!

Your trusty growth partner,

Dee?