The Emotional Fugitive's Dilemma: Why We Run and How to Stop
Debbie Schultz
Healthy minds, high performance – helping you measurably deliver on your people strategy through science-based solutions.
Studies have shown that actively suppressing emotions endangers your health and wellbeing, both physically and psychologically. In fact, ‘Emotional suppression might decrease outward expressions of emotion but not the inner emotional experience' (Greater Good Science Center, 2020).
‘Emotional suppression might decrease outward expressions of emotion but not the inner emotional experience' (Greater Good Science Center, 2020).
Most of us are pretty good at suppressing or running away from tricky emotions. ...as John Gartner puts it...
“Human beings have always employed an enormous number of clever devices to run away from themselves...by middle life, most of us are accomplished fugitives from ourselves.” ??♀?
Let's be honest we have an endless array of clever devices to run away from ourselves (hello Netflix).
We run for fear that strong emotions will flood or overwhelm us, or we justify it by saying we must hold it together or stay strong for others.
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We run for fear that strong emotions will flood or overwhelm us, or we justify it by saying we must hold it together or stay strong for others.
Just to be clear, sometimes we do need to hold it together in the short term, just to get through the hour/day/week.
But pushing down or blocking how you really feel is not a great long-term strategy for your wellbeing or your relationships.
"Pushing down or blocking how you really feel is not a great long-term strategy for your wellbeing or your relationships."
Take Ted Lasso as a prime example (a must-watch on AppleTV). Ted, bless him, worked overtime trying not to let past events interfere with his perennial good mood. But cracks started to show, and running from the past was having a serious impact on his job, relationships and mental wellbeing. Luckily, as the show progresses, we see Ted stop running and see the positive impact of this on his life.
So…what are you running from - emotionally speaking? Is this having an impact on your work, relationships, your life?
It's not easy work, but I know that in my own experience it made a world of difference to stop running away from tricky emotions in my own life.
Healthy minds, high performance – helping you measurably deliver on your people strategy through science-based solutions.
7 个月Thanks Graham, and thanks for your thoughtful response as well.
Operations Innovation Manager, Transformation Leader, People Developer, High Energy Group Facilitator, Critical Thinker, Thought Leader
7 个月I am heartened by your article and the current Olympics to think that running from emotions may be one race I'm well qualified to receive a medal for. But seriously, there is no escaping our choice not to love unconditionally. All less-than-love emotionality binds us ever more deeply. There is only one state where we can view reality objectively because as soon as we start to resist we are literally rejecting reality and choosing some lesser state of being. Not only that, but it eventually becomes compulsive and habitual. Once you have rejected your ability to love so-called "unlovable" things your viewpoint becomes more and more contracted and you get progressively more convinced that your power to love can only come from outside you. What a terrible lie to subscribe to! Guilty, by the way. As unpleasant as it will feel (seeing as we previously decided we couldn't love), allowing yourself to feel everything is the only way back out. Thanks for talking about this stuff Debbie Schultz.