Emotional Distancing & A Parking Lot Vigil

It was an older model red Dodge Durango. Oxidized and one of the tires a little low. It was parked near the back of the visitor lot. No other cars were near. 

I was walking the hospital campus perimeter as a part of my exercise/meditation routine during these most challenging of times. 

As I approached the SUV, I saw a group of 6. Three inside the vehicle, including younger children, and three adults outside. One sitting in a lawn chair and the others standing, each had a Sprite in their hands. All but 2 were wearing masks. They more resembled biker’s masks than the more clinical and sterile garb worn by most just inside the walls a couple of hundred yards away. They spoke quietly and waved at me.

I approached and smiled through my own mask. “Buenas Tardes,” I offered with a touch of Carolina drawl and a less than rhythmic roll of my “r’s.” I pulled my mask to the side and said, “It’s a beautiful day to be out, isn’t it?” “Do we need to leave” a woman asked me as she pulled her mask just below her mouth, her eyes looking worried. “Of course not. Is there anything we can do for you?”

The woman approached me, keeping some distance and asked, “Is this okay?” I replied, “Just right.”

She went on to explain that they were here to visit her papa. He is a “Patient of the virus.” Due to the visiting restrictions they could not see him. She went on…

“We just wanted to be more close to him, so we come and stay here.”

My eyes welled up and my instinct was to throw my arms around them all and offer what completely inadequate, but heartfelt comfort I could give. All I could say was, “God bless him and God bless you all. He is in the very best hands in there.”

She smiled and put her hand on her heart. “Gracias, Sir. Thank you.” I continued my walk feeling a jambalaya of emotion. Pain for this beautiful family that just wanted to be closer. Gratitude for my health and those of my loved ones. Shame that my own lifestyle, access to information, and diligence to protocols meant that I was less likely to be tackled by this thing. Hopeful for this dear man and his immediate and extended family holding their parking lot vigil. And so very grateful for the caregivers in those buildings in this little slice of Northern Virginia who spend their minutes and hours and days and nights loving and caring for these sons, daughters, nephews and nieces, partners, friends, husbands and wives, mothers, and, yes, Papas. 

Blessings, mis amigos

Sean

Personal Note & A Bit of Data:

Black and latino populations are at SIGNIFICANTLY greater risk for this virus. As a society we MUST do more to address health inequities and all of the circumstances that make our beautiful persons of color more vulnerable to this and much more. 

The Numbers: Among COVID-19 deaths for which race and ethnicity data were available, New York City identified death rates among Black/African American persons (92.3 deaths per 100,000 population) and Hispanic/Latino persons (74.3) that were substantially higher than that of white (45.2) or Asian (34.5) persons. (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2020.

To the gifted and deeply compassionate teams in the clinics and hospitals throughout the nation and the planet, we are so grateful for all that you do.