Emotional assessment, self-care and burnout. A self-aware and self-loving approach.

“Notes of a turbulent time”. This is how I named a file a few weeks ago, when the situation got worse and suddenly, we were locked down. At home. In our safe place – at least this is how I define it.

In the blink of an eye we changed our daily routine. From spending eight, nine hours outside – or even more – to being ‘forced’ indoors. So, how do we adapt to this new condition? How do we make sure we are properly equipped to be still efficient employees and prior to anything, functional human beings?

Practice a daily emotional assessment and self-care

Recently everybody felt different emotions – panic, anxiety, anger, sadness, frustration, fear, uncertainty, incredulity, skepticism and more. The list may continue, and we may not even be able to recognize what exactly is happening to us.

Whenever we feel something, do we really acknowledge what’s happening to us? And are we able to name our feelings?

For people who are used to run their lives on Excel datasheets and work on milestones and deadlines, these may seem questions that a ‘hippy-like minded person’ would ask, but they are not – and BTW, I do like hippies! There’s no new age approach nor mysticism in asking yourself what’s going on. You owe this to you, to your mental well-being – you’re not a machine nor a programmable robot.

When we feel dizzy and believe our temperature is higher than it should be, we do check it – we take a thermometer and wait up to 5 minutes to see whether our internal temperature increased or not. Well, if we are experiencing something we are not self-aware of or we simply don’t understand, we should do the same.

Stop, wait and read the level of your inner capacity.

Often times I told people “I wanted to check on you”, this also applies to us. Understanding what emotion we are experiencing, whether it’s good or bad for us and what exactly we need in that precise moment is a responsible act of self-care and kindness toward ourselves. Realising what we’d need and the type of help required takes a huge amount of self-awareness and bravery. If you’re comfortable with what you’re experiencing, you may share it with people who fall into your safe zone or simply keep it for yourself – the point is to allow, accept and recognize whatever you’re experiencing without judging yourself.

Great tools to help visualise and identify emotions are the emotions wheel created by late Dr Robert Plutchik or the Geneva Emotion Wheel (GEW) – these are both tools to help individuals illustrate their emotions and from there, pause and take a moment to clarify and perhaps take an action to canalise the feelings.

As Susan David said, “Great reminder to take the time every day to notice how you feel. When doing so, keep in mind that your emotions are data, not directives. You do not have to act upon them, but instead should label them correctly and recognize their existence with love and compassion”. She is a psychologist and the author of “Emotional Agility”.

Mental health is crucial and in the UK many companies offer an internal Assistance Program that employees and their families can benefit from – in general it is free and offers a wide range of services such as counselling, financial and legal advice, etc. Individuals can usually access it without notifying anybody in HR nor their managers, easy and private, this may be a tool to help you navigate a difficult moment and get the right support.

Among other actions we could take to support and strengthen our ability to cope with overwhelming reactions of our mind or with the daily routine of this period there are a few I’ve been experimenting with more or less success.

• Write down the highlights of the week (or month) – it helps keeping a cognitive approach. Due to the haste of completing tasks and projects, we often forget what we have done and whether it was successful or not. This is a good practice to make sure you keep grounded in the present without forgetting the value of your actions at work or in your private life. Celebrating your successes with your team (or family/friends) may also help increase your self-esteem and keep motivated.
• Write down a couple of things (or even 1) per day you’re grateful for in this period – you don’t need a long list, one or two will be enough to make you smile and remind that there’s still plenty of beauty in our lives.
• Say ‘thank you’ to people ?? – randomly, whenever you feel like. It helps you and the others! We often do things because we must do them, but the way we do them makes the difference and a culture of appreciation will strengthen relationships and respect for peers and managers.
• Remind yourself the difference between quarantine and isolation – you’re not sick, you’re protecting yourself and your beloved ones. It’s difficult, but you’re not in hospital attached to a respirator or with an IV because you are too weak to eat by yourself.
• Wear anything that makes you relaxed and happy – smart or comfy outfit, what makes you feel at your best now? Try and see what works for you, maybe one day you need to wear make-up or that particular shirt you love, another one you need a clean face or a T-shirt. As long as you’re ‘presentable’ in a video-call, then do it!
• Time with family and friends – in this period lot of people have experienced virtual meals or any sort of virtual drinks, this could be an enjoyable moment to catch up and laugh! Some use this time to cook with their partner or watching TV with kids (or help them with homework!)
• Solo time – sometimes we need our own time to relax and detox, so it may help spend some time alone to do something we enjoy, it could be cooking, reading, or sleeping with no interruptions. We do not need to be online all the time, nor justify ourselves if we are not constantly reachable.
• Physical exercises & Company – on YouTube or Instagram and Facebook there’s plenty of exercises and things to do. One may dance free-style and release the stress and toxic energy, some others enjoy practicing exercises at home, and even though it takes perseverance, it does help – I tried it, despite being an extremely lazy person, it did help my mood and energy a lot.
• There are also other types of movements called in-the-moment exercises. One is mindfulness, which is a psychological process cultivated through a meditation practice – I personally struggle with this, so I will need to give it a try later on, perhaps with the help of a specialized trainer. The other exercise is called progressive muscle relaxation – a series of exercises where one works on their muscles and respiratory ability. I recently tried it and it was quite beneficial to support me to relieve tension in a delicate situation.

It is interesting to think how we can take care of ourselves and what we can do in practice to make sure we reach the right emotional balance. Even when we think we are doing fine, and there’s no major issue, some of us still experience a huge level of tiredness, physical and mental. The point is, we are all at home and we cannot do the usual things we used to do outside – going for a long walk, meeting friends, going to the cinema and many more. We are constantly in the proximity of our laptops and unable to switch off because “hey, I have nothing to do, so I will reply this and that email”. That’s how you burn out, that’s how you get on real fire!

So how can you protect yourself from reaching the point of no return?

Everything discussed so far does make sense and could help people depending on the situation and personality, however, what really helps you in this period is to create boundaries.

You are working from home BUT remind yourself that WORK ≠ PERSONAL LIFE.

• Set alarms – when to start and when to unplug. Choose the most annoying ring tone for when you need to finish and don’t snooze it but switch off your laptop and phone.
• Take regular breaks – set alarms and / or block your calendar. Don’t check your emails while eating, enjoy your meal and try to recharge while nourishing your body!
• Turn off your phone notifications and hide your laptop once it’s time to enjoy your personal life. I am not joking, take your laptop / phone and lock them in a drawer – take the temptation from your eyes!
• If you can, set a work space you can physically leave – you may have a spare room you adjust as your home office or a corner in your living room. If you cannot, use your kitchen or living room and when you’re done with the day, take all your work-related tools and appliances away. Make sure you are able to diversify your home office from your real home.
• You may wear work outfit and take it off once it’s time to enjoy your personal time – a tie or a shirt/dress perhaps, anything that you can take off when the time comes and all you need to do is relax.
• Set boundaries with your family if they think you’re available just because you’re sitting at home – it took me ages to make my father understand that I am not just staring at the laptop, I am on a conference call and listening silently! …in the end he got used to it ??

Be kind to yourself, create your own routine and remember what you can and what you cannot control – your emotions don’t own you, it’s the other way around and you can decide how to connect and respond to them.

This article is part of a category dedicated to working remotely in a turbulent time, aka COVID-19 pandemic.

Initially posted at ?? https://www.luciaonewordatatime.com/post/emotional-assessment-self-care-and-burnout-a-self-aware-and-self-loving-approach