Emotional Agility: What You Need to Know

We talk an average of 16,000 words each day. So you can imagine how many unsaid ones we have. Most of them are emotional assessments and judgments, some good and useful, others not so.

People can deal with their feeling in two ways. They accept the ideas as reality and shun circumstances that elicit them. Additionally, people may attempt to explain away the thoughts and push themselves into similar events, even when those go against their fundamental beliefs and objectives. In either scenario, they are too focused on internal talk, wasting valuable cognitive resources.

Trying to ignore or downplay thoughts and feelings exacerbates them. Leaders don't buy into or conceal their emotions. They tackle them with mindfulness, values, and productivity.

In this article, you’ll get in-depth information about emotional agility and its four recommended practices. Read on to learn more!

What is emotional agility?

Emotional agility can be defined as the capacity for people to experience ideas, feelings, and experiences in a manner that does not push them in a negative direction but rather encourages them to show their best selves.

Emotional agility case studies

Here are the two case studies to help you understand emotional agility.

Case study #1:

Mary is a corporate lawyer with two kids. While her colleagues worked 60 hours a week, she only worked 40. She used to feel guilty about missing out on important moments with her husband and children. She had to be a better employee or risk losing her job; she had to be a better mother or ignore her family.

Case study #2:

James, a rising star at a major consumer products firm, had a different issue. The intelligent, brilliant, and ambitious man became furious with superiors who ignored him, subordinates who didn't obey, and co-workers who didn't do their part. He'd lost his anger at work many times and been told to calm down. But he felt he was closing off a part of himself, and he grew angrier and angrier.

In both cases, negative ideas and emotions ensnared these educated, accomplished leaders. Mary was consumed by remorse; James erupted in rage. Mary squelched the whispers; James stifled his anger. Both tried to avoid their pain. They were either being dominated by their inner experience or trying to control it.

Emotional agility practices

Here are four emotional agility practices.

Recognize your patterns

The first step in improving emotional agility is recognizing thought and emotion hooks. It's difficult to tell, although there are hints. One is rigid and repetitive thinking. For example, Mary realized her self-criticisms were like a broken record, repeating the same messages. Another is that the narrative you're telling yourself feels old, like a repeat. James sensed a familiarity in his co-workers’ attitudes. He'd had similar experiences before that. James' surroundings were problematic, but so were his thinking and emotional habits. Before you can change, you have to admit you're stuck.

Label your thoughts and emotions

The focus you give your ideas and emotions fills your head, making it impossible to analyze them. Labelling is one technique that may help you see your circumstance more objectively. Call an idea and an emotion what they are. For example, “I'm not accomplishing enough at work or home.” Labelling helps you perceive your ideas and feelings. Mary's critics became more like clouds moving across a blue sky when she slowed down and labelled her thoughts.

Accept them

Acceptance is the antithesis of control—responding to your thoughts and feelings with an open mind, paying attention, and allowing yourself experience them. The essential thing is to exhibit compassion and assess the situation. James started to notice the energetic nature of his irritation and rage when he recognized and let them rather than suppressed or vented them. Instead of screaming, he might ask a co-worker for help or address an urgent problem. James's fury appeared to strengthen rather than weaken his leadership as he embraced it and explored it.

Act on your values

You have more options when you let go of unpleasant ideas and feelings. You may choose to behave in line with your ideals. Leaders should emphasize workability by asking themselves these questions: Is your reaction going to benefit you and your business in the long run? Will it assist you to guide others toward your common goal? Are you taking a step toward being the leader and living the life you desire? Values may be used at any moment, in any circumstance.

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