The emotion of change

The problem

I'm a pretty resilient person so I am sharing this blog to demonstrate how even the strongest of characters can become overwhelmed by change. I hope my experience will provide a perspective that helps you build empathy with all those around you who are struggling.

I have just finished creating and launching my first ever online, self-paced certified ciurse and I have just started a new training development program for another client. I am also supporting two other global transformation initiatives which need creative thought, innovative and positivity to keep them delivering and realising benefits. They are Agile initiatives so there are frequent deliveries into the business creating significant business impact. So far so normal.....BUT

This week I moved house in Spain. I moved here a year ago, renting a house for up to 4 years but the Covid crisis triggered a move after only 12 months. It has led to many other changes, forcing me to change the country I pay tax in and to completely re-organise my work to stop my weekly flights around the world and work virtually, often for clients i have never met face to face. I look after my 86 year old father full time, particularly providing reassurance about the loss of contact with family since the lockdown, the reality of no family visits until next year (if he lives that long) and the move to our new home.

The final straw is I the ongoing saga of getting an Internet connection, 4 weeks so far and not much further forward which means I have to use a variety of contingency measures for my business and for keeping my Dad entertained!

Balancing so many competing priorities is exhausting. I constantly switch from one thing to another, which is a sub-optimal use of my brain. Our brains use a huge proportion of our energy so they like to switch into standby mode whenever they can. Constant switching means I am using the most power hungry mode of my brain so it is not surprising I don't have the energy to take on anymore issues.

The impact

Practically this means I find it difficult to retain information, so I have to write lots of lists. I crave quiet time with no interruptions, and will take myself off to find it. But this time isn't used for creative work. My brain cannot move into the default mode, which is where we have our ideas because it is full of resource allocation and prioritization tasks. This means to create calm I need to use quiet time to work through my task list, and where possible get things finished to create a positive feeling of achievement. I will use that to sustain me when the next wave of change hits.

The exhaustion means I not only lose my creative ability but I am veer between anger at my situation and tearful that everything is on my shoulders. The vicious circle of stress is that I don't have the creativity to tackle the really big initiatives so I need to take extra time to break them into small, manageable pieces. My hours are increasing but my productivity is decreasing and that means I constantly feel a failure.

The solution

So how do we help someone like me?

Let's start with an honest conversation about how we feel, teasing out all the worries about progress not made and the fear of yet more work to come. If someone tells you they are fine that should be a big warning flag to dig deeper.

Next, find ways to take things off their shoulders. De-scope, reduce the number of elements that they have to deliver, identify, get agreement and transfer work to others. Don't just suggest someone who might be able to help, but put this help in place. Tired people are too tired to ask for help themselves.

Create peace and quiet. Go through their diary with them and replace some of their scheduled meetings with time booked out for themselves. The meetings to take them out of are those that would take place anyway. If the meeting wouldn't be cancelled if they couldn't attend then they weren't that essential anyway.

Reassure them that good enough is just right for our current situation and that getting something delivered is far more effective than spending extra hours perfecting it. Now is the time for breadth not depth. Deliver a broad range of work at the high level, come back and dig deep if it is needed later on.

Conclusion

I hope this honest blog provides insight into how others might be feeling. Of course I worry that sharing my own situation will make my clients shy away from using me but I think my real-life experiences help me add coping mechanisms into my transformation programs, and right now, as we enter at least another 6 months of Covid, coping mechanisms are essential for all.

And of course, I couldn't keep my head above water without my pro-active friends who are always there to help, Marlene, Manalo, Jamie, Diane, Nick, Luke, Bobbi - thank you.