Emerging from Winter: The Journey of Emotional Renewal and the Promise of Spring

" No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn." – Hal Borland

I think this quote by writer, journalist and naturalist Hal Borland beautifully encapsulates the cyclical nature of life and the inherent promise of renewal and hope, even in the face of profound emotional distress.

I turned 40 a few years back and at that time went through some traumatic experiences in my personal and professional life, which left me on the brink of having what is often described as a ‘breakdown’. Fortunately, I had my family close at hand and some close friends who I could lean on through what was, without a doubt, the most traumatic period of my life.

Going through this led me to embark on something of a journal in self-discovery and healing which felt akin to enduring a prolonged winter, a period marked by profound sadness and life-altering upheavals following the closure of one period of my life. Ironically this took place during the height of the COVID lockdowns and I was, at the time, stuck on an island in the middle of the North Sea. The metaphor of that certainly wasn’t lose on me!

This transition forced me to confront and navigate through a tempest of long-suppressed emotions, some of which had their roots in the dim recesses of my childhood. My initial approach to these tumultuous feelings was avoidance, a strategy that ultimately proved futile and left me emotionally unmoored.

However, through candid discussions with friends and family I began the arduous process of thawing the frost that had encased my emotions, gradually moving towards healing and self-realisation.

The path I followed, though deeply personal, is universally applicable and can serve as a guide for anyone seeking to emerge from their own winters into the warmth of spring:

1. Recognize Your Emotions: Identify where and how you feel the emotion within your body. Our emotions are often mistaken for immutable truths about our identity. It's vital to shift from thinking "I am flawed" to "I feel flawed," emphasizing the emotion rather than defining oneself by it.For me, the pervasive feeling was one of incapability. Transforming "I am incapable" into "I feel incapable" was crucial in changing the narrative from a self-imposed identity to a temporary emotional state, prompting me to explore the underlying causes of these feelings.
2. Embrace Your Emotions: Fully experience your emotions without judgment. Whether it manifests as tears or physical tension, accepting these feelings is a crucial step toward healing and letting go of the negative emotions that have taken hold.I realized my sense of incapacity stemmed from previous professional setbacks, which I had mistakenly allowed to define my worth and abilities. Embracing this pain was a necessary, albeit difficult, step toward inner peace.
3. Transform Your Beliefs: Shift from harmful, self-limiting beliefs to empowering, positive affirmations supported by evidence. Changing "I feel I’m not good enough" to "I am good enough, despite my struggles" reinforces self-worth and acknowledges personal growth and resilience.Reflecting on my achievements and the positive impact I had in my professional life and helped me transition from a narrative of incapacity to one of potential and ability. What I had experienced and gone through went from being seen as a negative experience to a positive one, through a transition of self-learning.
4. Reaffirm New Beliefs: Regularly remind yourself of these positive beliefs and note the emotional response they elicit. This practice helps in solidifying these beliefs as more authentic and comforting than the old negative ones.This approach helped me break free from the cycle of negative thinking, replacing doubts about my abilities with a confident acknowledgment of my capabilities.
5. Actively Engage in Positive Activities: Use creative or physical activities to reinforce and embody your new, positive beliefs. This solidifies the mental transformation and creates positive bodily memories associated with these beliefs.For me, journaling, reading and in recent times writing were crucial in embedding my newfound positive beliefs, allowing me to physically manifest my emotional healing and renewal.

This process of emerging from the depths of emotional winter into the rejuvenating spring of self-awareness and renewal requires persistence and patience. It involves dismantling the instantaneous leap from negative emotion to self-deprecating belief, a transformation that becomes more natural with daily practice.

Rather than allowing old, negative patterns to dominate, this approach fosters the development of positive, mindful energy, gradually establishing a constructive outlook as a fundamental part of one’s being.

For those finding it challenging to fully embrace these new truths, perseverance in trusting them is key. This trust, fundamentally, is a trust in oneself, and over time, these affirmative beliefs will not only feel true but become an integral part of your identity, embodying the eternal truth that no winter lasts forever, and indeed, no spring skips its turn.