EMERGENT LEADERS NEWSLETTER/022/5 COMMON PHRASES THAT ARE POTENTIALLY COSTING YOU THAT PROMOTION.

Many common sayings you might have grown up hearing so much that you actually believe them to be true or as life facts. We don’t often acknowledge these thoughts or sayings, never mind recognize that we’ve internalized them, until it comes time to examine what’s holding us back.?Once we can objectively see these limited beliefs, we begin to realize how they act as self-imposed barriers. We often convince ourselves that they keep us comfortable and safe – until one day, we realize that what they really do is keep us from opportunities and experiences that could bring us fulfillment and joy. ?

If we allow ourselves to step off the hamster wheel for a few moments, we will begin to experience the discomfort that comes with asking ourselves existential questions, such as “Is this all there is?” or “What is it that I really want/need out of my career?”. At this point, we become more aware of our inner dialogue and begin to assess whether they are still serving – or holding us back.?

Let’s look at five common limiting statements, their underlying emotions, and their impact on the people around you. I also offer more empowering alternative perspectives or dialogues that foster a mindset of positive change and growth.?

"That's not my department."?

This statement often stems from your?fear of stepping outside your?comfort zone and potentially failing in unfamiliar territory. It may also come from a fear of stepping on a team member’s toes and being perceived as encroaching on their work or being intrusive.?

Regardless of the root of your fears, the impact is the same: it hampers collaboration, innovation, and adaptability in a team or organization. It can hinder the flow of ideas and limit overall productivity and creativity. It can also give the impression that you are not willing to go the extra mile to help someone out.?

While you want to create some boundaries to avoid taking on extra work or “stay in your lane”, there is a way of going about that won’t make you come across as someone who isn’t helpful. A simple: “I’m not sure, but let’s find someone who is better suited to help you out in this matter.” and then doing a “warm” transfer, of sorts. This way, you’re not taking on the work – but you’re still helpful in connecting them with the proper help. ?

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"This is the way I've always done it." or "Everything is working fine as it is."?

This statement often arises from a comfort zone mentality, where you're resisting change due to familiarity with existing methods or routines. I get it: change is typically associated with a lot of work. Many times, when change is imposed on us, we don’t always immediately see the improvement the changes themselves bring about, so we ask ourselves “What’s the point?”.?You have most likely also all been involved in having to do more work from changes imposed by an employer who is easily wowed by the flavor of the day. Changing for the sake of changing sucks and you may not be in a space where you are open to it now. ?

But if there’s a statement that screams “I’m not willing to learn.”, this is it. Unfortunately, this belief?can lead to stagnation. It prevents individuals from embracing innovation and adapting to evolving circumstances.?If you want to remain relevant, you must at least open yourself up to the idea that there might actually be a better way. ?

Rather than remain stuck in your ways, force yourself at least once per year to re-evaluate 1 process. Do this by connecting with others in similar roles – within the same industry AND in different ones also. It’s extremely validating to share strategies that serve you well and learn from others. By even making small tweaks to processes that already work relatively well, you would be amazed at what it can do to re-invigorate your productivity and level of engagement at work.?

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"I don't know."?

Have you ever been to a store and spent time looking for something, and then finally decide to approach an associate to ask for help and their answer was “I don’t know.” and then walked away without offering to help? ?

Now remember a time where you found someone and asked for help, and their answer was “I’m not sure but I’ll find out for you.” ?

How would you compare your customer experience in those scenarios? ?

You don’t have to be in the retail business to be annoyed by a blunt “I don’t know.”?

If you tend to simply exclaim “I don’t know.” and don’t follow it up with an offer to either find out or help the other individual?out, there’s a high likelihood that you will come across as dismissive, unhelpful and lazy and it can be extremely infuriating for others. It’s not a good look – but if you’re ok with it, then carry on as you were. But if you are trying to improve or build your reputation or brand for a promotion or new/better opportunities, then I would recommend going the extra step and finding a way to help the other person out.?At the very least, say what you do know and offer guidance or offer to help them find someone who does know. Being helpful goes a long way to fostering a network of valuable relationships that could one day be useful references.?

"That's just the way I am.” ?

Not only is this statement self-limiting, but it’s a red flag for lack of self-awareness regarding your ability and?potential to change and grow. I suppose it isn’t a problem if you don’t aspire to career growth – but if you do hope for something more down the road, try dropping this phrase from your vocabulary today.?

ALL skills are dynamic and malleable with time, effort and focus. In cases where individuals see their traits and abilities as unchangeable, it hinders their personal development and improvement because they don’t even try to start making changes because they don’t believe a different result is possible. ?

You CAN retrain your brain into believing that you can change, by changing the narrative of your internal dialogue. Replacing limiting phrases with those that give you permission to change, such as “I have the power to change and evolve.” or “I am in control of my destiny.”??

By continually improving,?you will better position yourself to stay ahead in a dynamic and competitive environment. It is beneficial for folks to recognize that personal growth is a lifelong journey – with no age limit. It’s been proven that individuals who develop a sense of agency over their lives and actively work towards continuous improvement are generally happier than those who don’t feel like they have any control over their circumstances.?

Ask yourself the following: ?Are you more attached to your perceived current self? Or are you willing to accept more and better for yourself? ?

Each mindset will lead you to hugely different outcomes, and the beauty of this reality is that you get to choose which narrative you feed your mind, hence the actions that then trickle from it. ?

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"I'm not good enough/I'm too inexperienced."?

These phrases are brought on by feelings of inadequacy and a fear of being judged based on perceived lack of skills or experience. I see this SO often with new leaders. It’s really at the root of the impostor syndrome many experience when stepping into a leadership role. Unfortunately, too many people allow this limiting belief to hold them back. If you believe that you are capable of learning, then you are also capable of believing that your skills are?“good enough” for now and with time, effort and practice, they will improve. Some of the best learning comes from doing what you are insecure about, and ity won’t happen without a growth mindset and embracing a learning curve. ?

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Something everyone can do is assess their inner dialogue - the things they repeatedly tell themselves - and then ask if those thoughts are serving you and helping you live the life you want to live.?It’s also helpful to assess whether these thoughts are either fueled by actual or outdated beliefs or if they are rather fueled by fear. By doing so, it emboldens you to create a path towards a more fulfilling future, rather than one that is led by fear and serves to keep us playing small.?