Embracing Vulnerability: Random Saturday Musings...

Vulnerability: one of my favorite things to preach, but not always easy for me to practice. Why? Because it doesn't always feel good - it's confronting, it ushers me into levels of self-reflection and self-awareness that I may not have been quite ready for at the moment, and it can feel isolating.?

As part of my ongoing development as an executive coach, I participate in coaching supervision circles led by Ken M. , where coaches bring challenges they're facing to receive support from colleagues. We have this beautiful practice where, before diving into insights and support, each coach expresses appreciation to the presenting coach. I find myself consistently appreciating the same thing: the sheer courage it takes to be vulnerable with a group of colleagues in the first place - do you know how hard it can be to share with a team of colleagues, all of whom are at the top of their game, that you feel like you failed in some way? When you question your own capabilities as a professional?!? That takes guts. When it’s my turn to express appreciation, my colleagues probably know exactly what I'm going to say at this point (lol), but I can't help it - I appreciate that display of courage every single time because I know first-hand that being vulnerable ain't always easy.

Speaking of vulnerability, this past week I've been doing the "Happy New Year!" catch-up calls with colleagues and friends. While I was genuinely excited to hear about all the cool stuff my folks have planned, I found myself leaving those calls feeling...weird. After some reflection (yes, coaches "do the work" too!), I realized why: when it was my turn to share my professional plans for the year, my response was essentially ????♀?. Now, that's not fully true - I have a broad vision for what I'd like to accomplish, but I'm not fully clear on the "how" despite spending a lot of time thinking about it. And if I'm being honest, I don't naturally deal with uncertainty well (it is an ongoing practice for me!), so not knowing feels super scary to me especially as a full-time entrepreneur (and hearing my colleagues lay out their detailed quarter-by-quarter plans certainly didn't help ;) ??

We live in a society where we're taught not to 'let them see you sweat' and to 'fake it 'till you make it' (= "don't you dare show vulnerability!"), but here's the reality: we're all trying to figure it out on some level, we all feel lost sometimes, and you know what? THAT'S ALL OK!!! IT'S NORMAL!! This means we’re HUMAN - hooray! ??

So in these moments, when you find myself with more question marks than fleshed-out bullet points and those foggy glasses are firmly in place, here's what has helped me (and might help you too):

1. Breathe and remember you're running your own race - you'll get to YOUR finish line in YOUR time

2. Take a moment to go within vs. rushing to figure it all out - you usually have more clarity than you initially thought and more answers than you realize. Also remember that it’s ok not to know… trust that you’ll know what you need to know, when you need to know.

3. Keep showing up courageously in your vulnerability -? not only are you staying true to yourself and how you’re really feeling in the moment, but you also create space for others to do the same. Plus, there's something deeply freeing about being able to say "here's where I actually am" instead of where I think I should be, and you open yourself up to receiving support when and where you need it most.

Remember: vulnerability isn't a weakness - it's one of the most greatest displays of strength you can show.?

Thanks for attending my random Saturday ‘Tara Talk’ :-) ??

#vulnerability #courage #selfreflection #executivecoaching #professionalcoaching #coaching