Embracing Vulnerability: Lessons from my kid's soccer field
Ashish Malviya
Technology Strategy & Transformation | IT M&A | Global ERP Implementation | Business Intelligence
This fall, my 8-year-old son began soccer lessons. While he excels in other sports, he’s still finding his footing on the soccer field. During practices, his coach asked him to step aside almost every day to work on passing while the other kids engaged in scrimmages. I noticed his frustration growing, and it prompted a conversation that turned into an important lesson for both of us.
One evening, I asked him, “Do you know what you need to work on before you can play in the scrimmage with the others?” As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them. I realized I might have unintentionally implied that I was judging his performance.
The following day, he came to me and said: “Dad, I hurt my leg playing at school, and I don’t think I can play soccer today.” In that moment, it hit me—I had inadvertently questioned his comfort with vulnerability and the acceptance of being less than perfect.
I sat down with him and gently asked if he was skipping practice because he felt sidelined and less skilled than the other kids. His silence spoke volumes. I had to correct my mistake and reassure him: “It’s okay to be sidelined and not the best. What matters most is that you show up with a mindset to learn and have fun. If you enjoy being on the field, let’s go!”
I further added - "Not everyone who picks up a hobby does so to become a master. Just as not every artist aspires to be the next M.F. Husain or every gymnast dreams of becoming Simone Biles—it’s perfectly fine to participate without the pressure of being the best".
This conversation reinforced an important lesson: it’s okay to be vulnerable and to admit that we haven’t figured everything out yet. It’s a sign of strength to ask for help and seek guidance. As Brené Brown discusses in her book Dare to Lead, vulnerability is not a weakness; it’s the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.
Reflecting on this incident, I refreshed my insights into coaching both at the workplace and in real life.
Here are a few key takeaways:
By embracing vulnerability and fostering an environment where it’s okay to not be perfect, we empower ourselves and those around us to grow, learn, and thrive!
How do you approach vulnerability in your own life and leadership? How do you encourage those around you to be comfortable with asking for help? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
COO | ex-Amazon | ex-Startup ($8M seed) | Board Member
5 个月Terrific lessons Ashish Malviya. My wife and I created 4 traits we want to instill in our daughter: 1/ Optimism (teachable) 2/ Long-term minded (teachable) 3/ Extreme Obsession (hard to teach) 4/ Resilient (very hard to teach, IMO it's something that must be experienced first-hand). We can learn so much from our kids.
Head of Security & Trust at Everlaw!
5 个月Thank you, Ashish, for sharing your personal experience and thoughts. Your willingness to reflect demonstrates your commitment to growth and supporting your child, which is truly inspiring. As a leader at work, balancing the pressure to deliver is challenging, but like you mentioned, I'm doing my best as well. One thing I am specifically trying is to listen MORE. Your note and reminder is much appreciated. Thank you.
When I was in high school, I had the honor of being the soccer coach for my 8-year-old brother's team. They were in an 8 to 10 year-old league and most had never played soccer before. The other boys were at least a head taller than them, and had been playing soccer for a couple of years. The boys would get discouraged when they couldn't even score a goal against the other teams. We learned and worked and practiced, and I kept reminding them that they were doing this because they wanted to learn how to play soccer. Along the way, I tried to do the four takeaways you mention. Miraculously, the team scored a goal late in the season. You would have thought they'd won the league tournament. They whooped and hollered and celebrated with unadulterated joy. It was one of my proudest moments ever. Parents came up to me at the end of the season and spoke about how much their sons learned that season. I think all of them went on to play soccer. I know that all of them learned the joy of play and learning something new. I hope they also learned the power of perspective. Thanks for bringing back that memory to me.
Supply Chain Manager @ Amazon
5 个月Love this. Always acknowledge your feelings and start taking small risks. If you succeed then celebrate your win otherwise be patient and stick with it.