Embracing Vulnerability: Lessons from my kid's soccer field

This fall, my 8-year-old son began soccer lessons. While he excels in other sports, he’s still finding his footing on the soccer field. During practices, his coach asked him to step aside almost every day to work on passing while the other kids engaged in scrimmages. I noticed his frustration growing, and it prompted a conversation that turned into an important lesson for both of us.

One evening, I asked him, “Do you know what you need to work on before you can play in the scrimmage with the others?” As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them. I realized I might have unintentionally implied that I was judging his performance.

The following day, he came to me and said: “Dad, I hurt my leg playing at school, and I don’t think I can play soccer today.” In that moment, it hit me—I had inadvertently questioned his comfort with vulnerability and the acceptance of being less than perfect.

I sat down with him and gently asked if he was skipping practice because he felt sidelined and less skilled than the other kids. His silence spoke volumes. I had to correct my mistake and reassure him: “It’s okay to be sidelined and not the best. What matters most is that you show up with a mindset to learn and have fun. If you enjoy being on the field, let’s go!”

I further added - "Not everyone who picks up a hobby does so to become a master. Just as not every artist aspires to be the next M.F. Husain or every gymnast dreams of becoming Simone Biles—it’s perfectly fine to participate without the pressure of being the best".

This conversation reinforced an important lesson: it’s okay to be vulnerable and to admit that we haven’t figured everything out yet. It’s a sign of strength to ask for help and seek guidance. As Brené Brown discusses in her book Dare to Lead, vulnerability is not a weakness; it’s the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.

Reflecting on this incident, I refreshed my insights into coaching both at the workplace and in real life.

Here are a few key takeaways:

1. Ask the Right Questions: When someone is struggling, it’s essential to ask questions that encourage self-reflection rather than inadvertently passing judgment.
2. Foster a Growth Mindset: Encourage your team or children to embrace failures as opportunities for learning. Reframe setbacks as valuable experiences that contribute to growth.
3. Model Vulnerability: As leaders or parents, we must model the behavior we wish to see. Acknowledge your own gaps and show that it’s acceptable to seek help.
4. Create a Supportive Environment: Build a culture where asking for help is seen as a strength rather than a weakness. This encourages collaboration and fosters trust.

By embracing vulnerability and fostering an environment where it’s okay to not be perfect, we empower ourselves and those around us to grow, learn, and thrive!

How do you approach vulnerability in your own life and leadership? How do you encourage those around you to be comfortable with asking for help? I’d love to hear your thoughts!