Embracing Vulnerability: Bereavement Leave and Support in the Workplace.

As we mark National Grieving Week, it's time to shine a light on a topic that is often shrouded in silence: grief. Grief is a universal human experience, yet it remains one of the least understood and most isolating experiences we go through. It's a journey that is deeply personal, and one that we all navigate differently.

In the UK, it is estimated that almost 600,000 people die each year. This means that countless individuals are left to cope with the loss of a loved one, often while trying to maintain their daily responsibilities, including work.

The loss of a loved one is a life-altering event, and the grief that follows can be overwhelming. It's not something that can be scheduled or neatly packed away. It's a process that takes time, patience, and understanding.

In 2016, I experienced this firsthand when I lost my dear Dad to multiple cancers. I made the decision to give up work and spend time in Ireland, caring for him in his home. The loss of my Dad has been a struggle every single day. He is constantly in my thoughts and my heart. His kind and beautiful face is still the screensaver on my phone.

In 2019, whilst continuing to manage my own emotions for the loss of my Dad, I was diagnosed with a chronic and rare lung disease (Lymphangioleomyamatosis - aka LAM), I was in total denial and for months, I didn't share the news or my experiences with anyone.

Dr. Google told me that I had perhaps only 3-8 years to live. In the quiet solitude of my fear, I tidied my belongings and made a file of important information and letters for my little girls. It was a dark and lonely time, filled with uncertainty and fear. It wasnt that I could not share with my loved ones, it was that I chose not to tell them so not to worry about how they may be feeling about it. I could not cope with my own emtions, let alone causing them distress when we didnt know what the future may actually hold. My loved ones sensed somehting was wrong and repeatedly asked if I was okay, as I was very distant; my response was typically to blame possible peri-menopause.

Thankfully, Dr. Google is wrong and my disease is mild and stable, and I continue to live a pretty much normal life most days.

I have had other neuro and multiple cancer investigative procedures and tests, each one a stark reminder of the fact we are all mortals. But through it all, I've learned that mindset matters so much. I needed time to process the experiences, feelings, and facts, then decide who to share it with, when, and why. I have also learned that a proble shared, is actually a problem halved.

Now, I am extremely open about all of my long-term health and neuro conditions. I've learned that sharing my journey not only helps me but also helps others who may be going through similar experiences. It's a testament to the human spirit's resilience and the power of a positive mindset.

As we observe National Grieving Week, please remember that grief comes in many forms and affects us all differently. Whether it's the loss of a loved one or a personal health crisis, we all need time and space to process our feelings. We must ensure that our workplaces provide the support and understanding we need during these challenging times. Because no one should have to navigate the path of grief or a health crisis alone.

These personal experiences have led me to further investigate and advocate for the introduction of bereavement leave in organisations. We have parental leave in place, recognising the significant life event of welcoming a child. But what about when we lose someone? Isn't that a significant life event too?

The introduction of bereavement leave would provide employees with the time and space they need to grieve, to remember, and to start healing. It would send a clear message that their pain is acknowledged, their loss is recognised, and they are supported.

There are no rules to grief. We cannot be prescriptive about how someone should navigate their loss. But what we can do is create an environment that acknowledges grief and provides support during such a challenging time.

Let us use National Grieving Week as an opportunity to start a conversation about grief in the workplace. Please ask, listen, and learn from each other and most of all be kind as you never know what others are dealing with.

Grief is a journey that we all must face at some point and we should ensure that when that time comes, we have the support and understanding we need from our workplaces. Because no one should have to navigate the path of grief alone.