Embracing the True Self: The Path to Inner Peace and Authentic Living
Brian Frohn
Empowering executives to become the leaders they aspire to be, achieving their most ambitious goals by mastering their inner game through the development of mindfulness - sustainable inner peace, ease, and clarity.
Many of us mistakenly identify our self-worth with external aspects like job titles, social status, material possessions, skills, and relationships. While these aspects can bring temporary satisfaction, they are inherently impermanent and can lead to suffering when we cling to them as defining our true selves. The world's number one golfer, Scottie Scheffler, captures the essence of a healthier mindset well. Known for his calm and focused demeanor on the golf course, Scheffler famously states, "Golf does not define me." This mindset allows him to perform under pressure without being overwhelmed.
The Illusion of Egoic Identity
False identification with the egoic self is dangerous because it ties our sense of worth to something fleeting. We often associate ourselves with our jobs, money, possessions, appearance, and social roles. This identification gives rise to attachments that, when threatened, make us feel insecure and vulnerable. For instance, losing a job or facing criticism can feel like a threat to our very existence.
These egoic thoughts are illusions created by past conditioning and societal influences, leading to a distorted sense of self. The ego thrives on fear, doubt, and the illusion of control, tricking us into believing that we are our thoughts and emotions. But these are just transient aspects, not our true selves.
Discovering the True Self
The true Self is your essence, the unchanging consciousness that is aware of thoughts, emotions. It's the part of you that is always present and at peace. By shifting your attention inward and learning to recognize and let go of egoic thoughts, you connect with this true self.
Practices such as mindfulness and meditation can help in this journey, but the best practice is the moment to moment habit of experiencing everything without judgment, and letting thoughts pass without engaging, fixing, or trying to take action on them - i.e. being present.? Notice your clinging to false identities, and gently let it go each time it arises. This practice of noticing and letting go helps you remain anchored in your true self, inseparable from the whole of universal consciousness—like waves on the ocean, coming and going, while the ocean itself remains vast and timeless.
Creating a Positive Presence
Are you getting ghosted after interviews?? You might be sending the wrong message without knowing it.? When you identify with the true Self and are fully present, you generate an energy that people want in their workplace. Being engaged and mindful makes you someone they want to work with. Your "vibe" becomes positive and engaging. In contrast, being caught up in egoic thoughts and rumination creates tension and negativity, which are off-putting to others.
In job interviews, this shift can be particularly powerful. Your presence and genuine energy can set you apart from other candidates who might be stuck in their heads, worrying about how they are perceived. By being present, you naturally exude confidence and authenticity, making a memorable impression.
The Power of Presence and Mindfulness
Being deeply present and mindful prepares you for life's challenges far better than overthinking and worrying. Presence turns off the overthinking mind and taps into an inner peace and wisdom, allowing you to handle situations with clarity. This consistent practice reduces the need for external validation and increases self-awareness and inner peace, contributing to better relationships, improved focus, and overall well-being.
Building a Habit of True Self Identification
This shift towards identifying with the true Self is a habit one can build. Over time, it can become automatic, transforming your entire life for the better. As you practice mindfulness and detaching from egoic thoughts, you begin to live more consistently from a place of inner peace and true presence. This ongoing practice sets a positive tone for your life, influencing your interactions, decisions, and overall well-being.
The Impermanence of External Identities
One profound realization on this journey is the impermanence of all external identities. Jobs, statuses, possessions, and even relationships are temporary. Recognizing this impermanence can alleviate much of the suffering tied to these attachments. Just like clouds pass by in the sky without altering the sky itself, identities and situations come and go, but the true self remains constant.
The Analogy of the Self
Consider an ancient analogy that portrays the true Self (you) as the owner and passenger of a chariot. The physical body is the chariot, and the discerning intellect is its driver. The senses are the horses, and the mind is the reins. This metaphor underscores the importance of understanding and harmonizing these different aspects of being. Aligning with the true Self allows for a life of clarity, purpose, and inner peace.
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Conclusion: Sustainable Inner Peace Through True Self Identification
To achieve sustainable inner peace, let go of false identities and dwell in the true self—the awareness within you that perceives thoughts and emotions without identifying with them. When you live from this place of awareness, you cultivate a sense of timeless, unshakable peace that remains constant amid the ups and downs of life.
Dwelling in the true self brings about a transformation, leading to a life of genuine fulfillment and joy. Let go of egoic attachments, cultivate presence and mindfulness, and connect with your inner consciousness for a life of deeper peace and resilience.
By embracing these practices and understandings, you, like Scottie Scheffler, can navigate life's pressures and challenges with a calm, focused, and resilient mindset, achieving not only personal fulfillment but also peak performance in all your endeavors. This change not only benefits you, but also makes you a positive and engaging presence that others gravitate towards, whether in personal relationships or professional settings like job interviews.
These concepts can feel overwhelming to apply, but I can assure you that you can, and that you will see tremendous benefit when you do.? I am here to help and support you.? If you are are interested in learning more, here are three ways I can help…
Mindfulness Consultation : This one-hour session will set you on your path to sustained inner peace, ease, and clarity. You'll be introduced to key concepts and engage in practical exercises and techniques designed to increase your sense of peace, ease, and calm the ruminating mind.
Coaching Packages : Whether you're dealing with difficult people or situations at work, elevating your presence for interviews, or developing effective networking strategies, our one-on-one coaching programs can be transformational. Book a call today to discuss the right package for you.
Mindfulness Workshops: Job Search with Confidence & Clarity: This program is designed for job seekers looking to enhance their networking skills, interview preparation, and confident presentation. Book a call today for an initial session.
Brian Frohn
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