Embracing the shared humanity that binds us: Nonviolent Communication

Did you know that Marshall Rosenberg, the father of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), visited Basel in the 1990s? During his visit, he established a group of trainers, who founded the Swiss French speaking Nonviolent Communication Network.

On April 20th, I had the chance to participate in the celebration of the network's 25th anniversary. We started the day with a workshop led by Thomas d'Ansembourg. In the afternoon I was particularly moved by the intervention of Pierre Muanda: after the war in Rwanda, he and others found themselves at the Université Catholique de Louvain (UCL) in Belgium, alongside those who had participated in the genocide. To prevent acts of vengeance, the university decided to train this group in non violent communication. Pierre Muanda shared how the training changed the participants, allowing them to express their deep needs, and develop a connection that seemed impossible, now acting together in the service of peace.

There are many examples that demonstrate the effectiveness of NVC, but what about data? Laurence Bachmann and Anne Perriard, two researchers from the Geneva HES-SO, presented their work on Non Violent Communication, showing how NVC transforms our behaviors positively and enables a type of power based on collaboration - "power WITH" - compared to our dominant models of “power OVER”. Throughout history, there exist instances of power rooted in collaboration, yet these narratives often remain untold. Instead, models of dominance and control are consistently emphasized, cementing them as our prevailing paradigm and perpetuating the cycle of replicating these patterns.

Today, a mode of communication empathetic and based on discernment is a necessity:

• According to the World Health Organization, social isolation affects 1 in 4 elderly individuals and 5 to 15% of adolescents. It has the same impact on physical and mental health as smoking, obesity, or physical inactivity.
• Our model of limitless growth - while resources are limited - generates violence in companies that constantly reorganize in the name of efficiency and competition. Many companies display "inspiring values and purpose” to attract employees who pretend to adhere to them, while the internal way of working is itself very competitive, preventing them from implementing these values. Humans are forced to adapt to the system, whereas the system should adapt to humans.
• This model of limitless growth also generates violence towards ourselves and towards nature: the frenzied consumption of gadgets supposed to meet so-called needs exacerbates our inability to connect with ourselves, encouraging ever greater production at the expense of nature, whose destruction threatens our own existence.
• Finally, our models of "power OVER" are not strangers to wars and extremism, which today are knocking on our doors.

Philosophers have long debated whether man is good or bad. Nonviolent Communication gives us a chance to nurture what is good in us. More than just a process of Observation-Feeling-Need-Request, NVC prioritizes building the relationship; it is about embracing the shared humanity that binds us, transcanding the limitations of our individual strategies; it is about taking responsibility for our feelings and actions, and fostering empathy towards ourselves and others.

As Thomas d'Ansembourg pointed out on April 20, while we sometimes whish to be useful to feel alive, that’s actually feeling alive that makes us useful. Nonviolent Communication makes us alive.

www.cnvsuisse.ch - https://cnvbelgique.be - https://cnvformations.fr - https://www.gewaltfrei-schweiz.ch/trainerinnen.html - https://www.cnvc.org/learn. https://revuehemispheres.ch/interroger-ses-besoins-pour-mieux-les-depasser/