Embracing self doubt

Self doubt, in its worst form is a crippling condition, paralysing an otherwise competent and capable person. It starts with a person feeling unsure or uncertain about something associated with their personality, capabilities or competence. If left unchecked, it can grow exponentially and lead a person defining themselves as being inadequate and internalising the feeling of inadequacy and worthlessness.

Self doubt can happen for several reasons, some internal and others external. Many people develop self doubt when they compare themselves to others. It also occurs when a person struggles with their tasks. Worst of all, psychologically unsafe and pathological environments make them feel inadequate. Self doubt may start with feelings of this is not good enough and turn into a single debilitating thought, I am not good enough.

For businesses and enterprises, self doubt kills productivity and annihilates innovation. Management needs to create psychological safety across the organisation and establish support mechanisms for staff struggling with self doubt. This should help individuals draw courage and overcome this silent oppressor.

I experienced and battled self doubt for several years. Lately, I have learnt to turn self doubt around into opportunities for self improvement with the following 3 tools. These largely address the internal reasons of self doubt. It can still be a struggle at times but I have a mechanism to cope that I want to share with others.

Roll it back and break it down - It is not about me

As mentioned, self doubt progresses from thinking this is not good enough to I am not good enough. The task here is to roll back I am not good enough to it is not good enough. It depersonalises self doubt. It is no longer about me as a person. The focus then shifts back to what I am doing or what I am thinking about and what I need to do next about it. I feel more in control once I have managed to depersonalise my self doubt and it's now time to use the other two tools.

Vocalise it using questions

One consequence of lingering self doubt is that we internalise our thoughts and ideas thinking that they are not good enough to be shared publicly. Reasons can range from avoiding any chance of ridicule to trying to perfect those ideas.?

Ideas have a shelf life. If not shared and put into action, other developments may supersede them making them irrelevant. The choice for many self doubters is something like between being 100% assured being sharing them or being 70% assured and working towards achieving the remaining. A support network is very helpful where I can safely share these ideas to get feedback, refine them further and get reassurance.?

But a support network may not always be available to give me timely feedback on my ideas. I may find myself in a shark tank ideating to help others resolve a critical situation. I am bursting with solid ideas but my self doubt kicks in. I freeze. I lose the confidence of my stakeholders, I fail them or someone else takes away the spotlight. My self doubt costs me and my stakeholders dearly.

In such situations, I have started voicing ideas out early as questions, turning my self doubt into a wider, open conversation. Following are some examples:

How may we solve this problem with this approach?

Have we considered using this technique before and what were the results?

What if we change the process to remove dependencies in the critical path?

Such questions prompt the audience to think critically about the idea in the context of the problems we are trying to address. Resulting conversations are objective, informative and thought provoking.?

I may still get an odd (and very infrequent) this is not good enough. When this happens, I usually have brushed against someone else’s self doubt or lack of self assurance. I may have to be sensitive here but definitely not submissive. I have the opportunity to break the idea down and discuss its merits and risks. The idea may still not be accepted but the decisions then will be more objective.

Futurespect my way out of self doubt

When I have managed to roll back my self doubt from I am not good enough to this is not good enough, I have the opportunity to futurespect it. This starts with defining what good enough looks like. I then try to figure out what is getting in the way, followed by what strengths do I have to overcome the obstacles. Finally, I list out what I need to do next to exploit my strengths to overcome those weaknesses and achieve the good enough.

Applying futurespective gives me an action oriented approach to address self doubt. From procrastinating about something being not good enough, a futurespective tells me what good enough looks like and how I may achieve it. Futurespective is best practiced with a support network but works well even when I am alone.

To conclude...

Self doubt is a reality for most people and much more pronounced in knowledge work and creative pursuits. If I am experiencing self doubt, there is a substantial likelihood that I am challenging myself beyond my comfort zone. The tools above have helped me transform my self doubt from fear and procrastination to a signal which tells me that I am edging into something useful and substantial, helping me embrace it and turn it into an opportunity to self improve.