Embracing the Power of Questions and Authenticity: Lessons from My First-Grade Self

As I reflect on the journey of life, I can't help but appreciate the valuable lessons hidden in the most unexpected moments. Some of these lessons emerge during mundane activities like learning how to do laundry, cook a meal, or manage a budget – skills we acquire during our high school years. However, one of the most profound lessons I've ever learned, and one that continues to shape my daily life, dates back to one day when I was in the first grade.

I vividly recall sitting in my small, colorful first-grade classroom, struggling to grasp the concept of greater-than and less-than symbols. For some reason, the idea that an alligator would devour the larger number and turn its back on the smaller one just wouldn't click in my young mind. Determined to comprehend, I went home and tried to figure it out on my own. When my efforts proved futile, I summoned the courage to ask for help.

However, the response I received wasn't what I had anticipated. The person I turned to, who was supposed to be a source of guidance and support, instead reached out to someone else and remarked, "Will you please help Lindsey with her math? She's not smart enough to figure it out." While I've since come to realize that this comment may have been a passing frustration or a momentary lapse, and to their credit, they likely didn't know I could overhear them, the sensation of being labeled as unintelligent for seeking help remained with me, even in my first-grade innocence.

In response to this, I put up a brave front, refusing the offered help and claiming that I had finally grasped the concept. But as I faced a quiz the following day, staring blankly at the paper before me, I knew I was in trouble. I took the quiz, and the inevitable happened – I failed. My teacher, Mrs. Smith, who recognized that I was typically a high-achieving student, summoned me during recess to understand what had gone wrong.

It was in that moment, driven by the desire to prove my worth, that I broke down and explained the entire situation. Mrs. Smith, wise and compassionate, made me realize the consequences of not seeking help when I needed it. She patiently taught me the concept of greater-than and less-than in a different way, and suddenly, everything clicked into place. I retook the test, and unsurprisingly, I aced it with an A+ – a perfect 100%.

This experience left an indelible mark on me. It reinforced the importance of asking questions, seeking help, and not allowing the fear of appearing ignorant to hold us back. Throughout my life, whether during nursing school or my transition into the corporate world, I've encountered numerous situations where questions arose, but I've never hesitated to seek answers.

I am a fervent learner, and the discomfort of not knowing something is something I actively avoid. In healthcare, as in any other field, leaders who shy away from asking questions, clarifying doubts, or admitting uncertainty because of the fear of judgment become liabilities. It's crucial for us to set an example by saying, "I don't know" when we genuinely don't. This admission doesn't diminish our competence or credibility; it humanizes us and fosters an environment of trust and growth.

Not knowing something does not equate to inadequacy; it merely means we haven't acquired that specific skill set yet.

But the lesson didn't end there. Mrs. Smith also imparted another invaluable insight – the importance of authenticity. She emphasized that it's crucial to be real, to be honest, and to embrace authenticity in all situations. Pretending to know something we don't or trying to be someone we're not can hinder our growth and the authenticity of our relationships.

So, I challenge all of us as leaders to be the first to say, "I don't have the answer, but I'm committed to finding it." Let's become safe havens for those seeking guidance, free from the fear of ridicule or belittlement. In doing so, we'll build stronger, more cohesive teams because we'll recognize that our collective strength is greater than our individual abilities.

I carry these lessons in my heart, share them with my children, instill them in my team, and remind myself every day. Let us be champions of curiosity, seekers of knowledge, advocates of asking questions, and proponents of authenticity because it is in the quest for understanding and being true to ourselves that we truly shine as leaders.