Embracing the Pause

Last week, I sat down at my computer to write a "lessons learned" article for the past year. I realized that I missed writing down my thoughts from 2020. I had no reflection in 2020 — for a good reason, which I am sure most people fully understand. My thoughts were on hyper-mode as 2020 continued to prove to be a very unusual year.?

When I first started writing, the words flowed pretty quickly. Several paragraphs naturally hit the screen. Then my brain was unsure what should come next or how to connect my thoughts. After a long while of staring at my computer screen, I saved my progress and walked away. I paused.?

I couldn't sleep after walking away from my unfinished project. Thoughts were running through my head about what I had written and how it just didn't truly convey the transformation of my life since the pandemic started in early 2020. The writing was robotic and felt like the same article I had written in 2018 and 2019.?2021 (and 2020 for that matter) were NOT the same as years past.

I thought to myself, "Thank goodness that I paused on finishing that article."?

Pause. Yes, pause. It has been a reoccurring word in my vocabulary since entering the strange, new world that we all now live in.?

Before March of 2020, I had been living my life on full throttle. I never had a minute that was not scheduled in my workday with meetings or daily tasks. Weekend activities were booked months in advance. There were no lazy days to sleep in. I woke up every day and hit the ground running until I collapsed on my bed at night.?

What do I mean by the word "pause?"?

I still get up to an alarm, but I am not rushing from the second it makes a sound. I hit the snooze button at least once before climbing out of bed. I get my son ready for school, make my coffee, and then send him off on the bus. After I wave goodbye to the bus driving away, I enjoy my cup of coffee. Let me repeat that and let it soak in: I ENJOY my coffee. I breathe. I am thankful for the day to begin. I watch the sunrise and usually snap a photo to share its beauty. I allow pause in my life to soak in what is happening around me whether it is chaotic or calm. I don't jump quickly to the next task. I take the time to reflect.?

Pause in conversation — I have heard many times that in conversation, the person listening is only listening enough to respond. When we only listen to respond, we are missing parts of the message. I have been trying to listen, then pause and reflect on what I heard before responding. The disruption of the conversation cadence has caused many awkward moments. I have become comfortable with the silence because I feel like I have learned more. The pause creates more intention to comprehend rather than to respond. I have conversations every day with many different types of people. Now that I embrace listening, I never know where a conversation might go.

Pause in taking action — At the beginning of the pandemic, it seemed that everyone was quick to pivot. The world was changing quickly. There was a fear that if you did not adjust, then you would be left behind. I wasn't sure that was right. I couldn't grasp how people knew what action to take when there was so much changing every day. Pausing and waiting for the dust to settle a little before taking any action was my solution. It may or may not have been right. Without knowing how the world was evolving, I couldn't see a clear path of change. For me, taking the time to pause, helped me to better understand how I could take action and create meaningful changes.??

Pause in my thought process — I have always felt the need to find solutions to problems and fix them very quickly. I advocate for fixing problems, but I have started to question speed. During the pandemic, many people were spending more time at home. I am a landlord which meant extra time at my own home and my other properties. Renters had an increased need for improvements.?

I would get a message vaguely explaining what was wrong with the unit. I felt the need to fix it instantly. However, I am not a handyman. Problems usually have many ways to tackle them, but I was missing the essential pieces to decide the best solution.?

I would get, "The toilet is clogged," and immediately call a plumber. Instead of quickly answering a tenant with "I am sending out a professional to take a look," I gathered my thoughts, came up with several questions to ask, and did a little research on the reported problem. Then I called the tenant with my follow-up questions. I started having them tell me in their own words what was going on. For the toilet problem, I asked, "Have you tried a plunger?" I paused the conversation to make the next step in the process more meaningful. The additional time and information made how to move forward feel much better for me and the tenant.?

I wonder why it took a pandemic to truly appreciate reflection and the time it takes. It has allowed me to collect my thoughts. I have been able to speak more clearly and directly. The extra time has also brought more awareness to the situations in my life. My brain works best when it has the space and time to process the information. I am very grateful for the insights from when the world paused in 2020.?