Embracing New Perspectives: A Gateway to Personal Growth and Empathy

My daughter and niece, Alicia and Daniela, sit in the living room with me and ask questions about their fathers, who are brothers, and what they were like in high school.

Then we get into a deeper subject.

“How do you deal with dying and death?”

Their father/uncle, my husband, is dying of cancer and it is a difficult time for our family.

I know we are energetic beings, and energy never goes away, it only transforms. That’s science. So I believe the energetic being will leave the body and go back to the dimension where we came from before we were born.

Most human beings cannot perceive this other dimension, like the way we cannot see the entire spectrum of light waves or hear the entire spectrum of sound waves.

We also have to examine our perspective of death.?

During our lives, we have a family member or friend who is contributing to and supporting us.?

When they pass on, there is an empty space and we have to take up the slack ourselves or find others to take on the role they filled.

There is also a lot of paperwork and unplanned expenses involved.

That means we are feeling negative emotions about their passing, such as frustration, sadness, or fear.

Obviously, it is the living people left behind who form the social norms of what is good or bad.?

To us, life is good, and death is bad.

But it’s not about me. This is his journey.

Removing myself from the equation, I assume it must be better to pass on than to remain here on Earth suffering in pain.

In the end, we get to choose how we view death and dying. We can focus on the empty space or we can focus on the person’s transition to a better place and be happy for them.

When we marry, we promise to stay together until death. Because we know everybody will die. We just don’t like to think about the reality of being left behind.

I like to think that my husband is going on a trip. This is my opportunity to help him get ready for the trip while I prepare myself for his absence.?

It requires opening my mind to a new perspective.

In a world that is constantly evolving, it is essential to cultivate an open mind and embrace new perspectives.?

Open-mindedness is the willingness to consider alternative viewpoints and be receptive to diverse experiences and ideas. By being open to new perspectives, we not only enrich our own lives but also foster empathy, understanding, and personal growth.?

In this week’s episode and blog post, we will explore the significance of being open-minded and how it can positively impact our lives. We will draw inspiration from the thought-provoking podcast "Our Story Your Story," episode titled “Discover a New Perspective | A Gypsy's Kiss Chapter 5” where Toby Younis and Shelley Carney discuss their experiences and insights on this theme.

Learning from Diverse Experiences

One of the fundamental reasons to embrace new perspectives is the opportunity to learn from diverse experiences.?

"The experiences of other kids from other cities and states and financial situations and other backgrounds was a great eye-opening realization that there is something other than Santa Fe." — Toby Younis

Our individual perspectives are shaped by our upbringing, cultural backgrounds, and personal encounters. Embracing diversity allows us to gain a broader understanding of the world and challenges our preconceived notions.?

Toby Younis had a personal experience from his high school days, where attending a diverse school expanded his worldview beyond the boundaries of Santa Fe. This encounter made him realize that there is more to the world than what he had previously known.

“Most of the kids that came from the East Coast came from families that I would say were at the time the classic definition of conservative Republican. They had grown up that way and that's where their ideas came from. What was interesting is most of the kids that were coming from the West Coast had grown up in families that were liberal Democrats. Almost everything that we talked about in the evenings had some sort of influence that came from that, and you could start debating it. Nobody back then was cultish about their politics. We were all open to the possibility that somebody had a better idea.” — Toby Younis

Importance of Productive Conversations

Engaging in productive conversations with others is another crucial aspect of being open-minded.?

“I learned to start having conversations and then learned from the conversations because I realized not everybody thought as I did. That's where the idea that the more you talk with people, the better person that makes you, came from. If you can have those conversations. Because they bring something different to the table.” — Toby Younis

By valuing problem-solving and learning from others, we create an environment that fosters growth and understanding.?

Toby had positive experiences from high school conversations. These conversations allowed for the exchange of ideas and the exploration of different perspectives, leading to new insights and expanded horizons.

Expanding Personal Development through New Experiences

Embracing new experiences is a powerful way to develop fresh perspectives.?

Trying new things pushes us beyond our comfort zones and encourages personal growth.?

Toby discusses his decision to join the military, which provided him with a structured environment and new guidelines to navigate life. This experience allowed him to develop a different outlook and gain valuable skills, contributing to his personal growth and development.

“You were with a group of people who had common goals, common objectives, and you were doing it in a civil and sportsmanlike manner following the rules. Everybody agreed on that. There was a camaraderie that came from the fact that you shared these common goals and you did it under the same set of rules.” — Toby Younis

Learning to Be Open-Minded in Life's Challenges

Being open to new perspectives extends to how we approach life's challenges and embrace new roles and responsibilities.?

Shelley Carney exemplifies this through her dedication to caring for her husband. She willingly takes on new responsibilities out of love, showing an open-minded approach to adjusting her perspective and embracing the challenges that life presents.

“My husband and I have been married for 39 years and I attribute a big part of that to the fact that we don't micromanage each other. He does his thing and I support that and I do what I enjoy and he supports that. Now he's in this position where he's losing the ability to take care of himself. That's hard for anybody, but especially a man who has always been the breadwinner of the family and the dad. Now I'm holding the door for him instead of the other way around. So we're both having to learn a new perspective that I am capable of taking care of us as a family. That is new for both of us.” — Shelley Carney

Seeking Advice to Gain the Big Picture Perspective

“Yesterday when I was looking for advice, I went to a credit union, I went to a bank, and I went to you (Toby). To each one, I explained, “I need advice, and I came to you because I'm in the middle of this and I can't see everything. But you can.”— Shelley Carney

When we find ourselves in the midst of a problem or facing a challenging situation, it's difficult to maintain a broad perspective. In such moments, seeking advice from trusted individuals can be immensely helpful in gaining a big-picture perspective.

Identifying Trusted Advisors

The first step is to identify individuals whom you trust and respect, and who have experience or expertise in the relevant area.?

These advisors can be mentors, friends, family members, or professionals who have navigated similar situations before.?

Their guidance and insights can offer valuable perspectives that you may have overlooked.

Sharing the Problem

Once you have identified potential advisors, it's important to share the problem with them openly and honestly. Clearly articulate the details, challenges, and any emotions or concerns you may be experiencing.?

By doing so, you allow your advisors to have a comprehensive understanding of the situation, enabling them to provide more informed advice.

Active Listening

When seeking advice, it is crucial to practice active listening.?

Give your advisors your full attention and genuinely consider their insights and suggestions.?

Avoid jumping to conclusions or dismissing their viewpoints prematurely.?

Remember that seeking advice is about broadening your perspective and gaining new insights, even if they may challenge your initial assumptions.

Asking Thought-Provoking Questions

To gain a big-picture perspective, ask your advisors thought-provoking questions that encourage them to share their experiences and insights.?

Inquire about how they have approached similar situations in the past, what lessons they have learned, and any alternative viewpoints they can offer.?

By asking open-ended questions, you invite a deeper level of understanding and encourage your advisors to share their wisdom.

Reflecting and Synthesizing

After gathering advice from multiple sources, take time to reflect on the different perspectives offered.?

Consider how each viewpoint aligns with your values, goals, and the specific context of your situation.?

Look for common threads, overarching themes, or alternative approaches that may provide a fresh perspective on the problem at hand.

Making Informed Decisions

Armed with a big-picture perspective gained from seeking advice, you can now make more informed decisions.?

Evaluate the various insights you have received and consider how they align with your personal values and long-term objectives.?

While you may not always follow every piece of advice received, the collective wisdom you have gathered will enable you to make better-informed choices.

“I needed a logical answer, and that's what you (Toby) gave me. That is what made all the difference. I went from “I don't know what to do,” to “I know exactly what to do now.” Because you helped me to gain that perspective over the whole.” — Shelley Carney

Recommendations and Action Steps

As we conclude our exploration of the importance of being open to new perspectives, it is essential to translate these insights into actionable steps.?

Taking proactive measures to cultivate open-mindedness can significantly impact our personal growth and relationships. Here's an action step you can take this week:

Engage in a Meaningful Conversation

Reach out to someone with a different background or perspective and engage in a thoughtful conversation. It could be a coworker, a neighbor, or a friend with whom you haven't had a deep conversation before.?

Approach the conversation with curiosity, open-mindedness, and a genuine desire to understand their perspective. Listen attentively, ask open-ended questions, and resist the urge to judge or debate.?

Seek common ground and look for opportunities to learn from their experiences.?

By actively engaging in this dialogue, you will not only broaden your own perspective but also foster empathy and connection with others.

Remember, the journey toward open-mindedness is ongoing. It requires consistent effort and a willingness to challenge our own biases and preconceived notions.?

Embrace diversity, seek new experiences, and actively listen to others. By doing so, you open doors to personal growth, empathy, and a richer understanding of the world around you.

So, take that first step this week and engage in a meaningful conversation that expands your horizons. Embrace the transformative power of being open to new perspectives, and watch as it positively impacts your life and those around you.?

Together, let's create a more inclusive and understanding world, one conversation at a time.