Embracing Neutral Communication: Lessons & Reminders from a Serendipitous AI Exchange

Earlier today, I was exploring an AI tool - yes, ChatGPT - and how it might serve as a scribe for ideas and a sounding board to organize my thinking and priorities. I spoke into the Advanced Voice feature on ChatGPT and initially prompted it to formulate a list of something, and before I knew it, the entire experience itself helped me reconcile a critical observation of what it truly entails to be a human who needs to be heard in order to survive and thrive. The timing is poetic, as it just dawned on me as I embrace the new-year-notion of self-improvement and refinement that the entire world is dragging me around by my emotions… and, in turn, knowing this is my greatest opportunity.

For the record, this was an interesting experiment any many levels - for one, I used the AI tool to formulate this blog post. These are my words, but they were scribed for me and then organized for me through a series of prompts with the tool. I then took time to refine, edit, and clarify the post. Secondly, the blog post is about my use of the tool itself, where I philosophized and opined with "Aurelius" what is essential about communications, and below, I share what it revealed to me about the fundamentals and pitfalls of human communication.?

Note the Grand Implication: With Emotion Comes the Risk of Misalignment and Misunderstanding

When emotions introduce noise into communication, the result is often misalignment. The speaker’s intent may not be fully understood, and the listener may interpret the message through their own emotional filter.

This creates a cascade of challenges:

• Inefficiency – Conversations take longer than necessary as both parties try to clarify or defend their positions.
• Conflict – Misunderstandings escalate into unnecessary tension or disagreement.
• Loss of Influence – If a leader, team member, or speaker can’t communicate with clarity, their ability to inspire and drive action diminishes.

This is where neutral communication becomes a powerful tool.?

The Lightening Strikes: The Moment I Realized Alignment Was My Responsibility

At the beginning of my interactions with the AI tool, I asked for a list of something. Before I could fully articulate what I needed, the voice interjected, attempting to provide an answer. It was a moment of slight friction—nothing major, but enough to make me pause.

At first, I felt a flicker of irritation. The tool had jumped ahead without fully understanding my request. But then it hit me: this wasn’t the tool’s fault—this was on me. And further, and perhaps more importantly, I caught myself wondering, “How often is this happening with my fellow humans?”??

I realized that, just like in human communication, I hadn’t set clear expectations. Or perhaps, we hadn't set clear expectations and become aligned. I had assumed that the AI tool?would simply "get it," much like we often assume with people. But why? This was a tool with no prior context, and no assumptions of its own—only the ability to respond based on what I gave it.

Instead of being frustrated for too long, I reframed the situation: What would it look like to get into alignment? (I actually caught myself - and it's in the transcript of my conversation - yelling outloud, "HOLY SH!T!" as I realized the parallels between this convo and every other aspect of my life.)

1. I needed to make requests, not assumptions. Instead of expecting instant understanding, I had to guide the tool toward clarity, it wouldn't necessarily do it for me.
2. I had to stop taking things personally. It's almost embarrassing that I allowed a "machine" to trip up my emotions. The moment I removed emotion from the misalignment, it became an opportunity to refine my own communication.
3. I had to recognize that clarity is a shared responsibility. If I didn’t set parameters, how could I expect an aligned response?

This shift in perspective was powerful. At one point, I?named the tool “Aurelius.” I actually asked the tool what to call it, and it replied, “Call me ChatGPT.” Then I thought, “if i am the steward of this relationship, I wonder if I can give this voice an actual character, put a name to the perspective in order to interact with it as a true sounding board?" I did this to create a sense of structure in our exchanges, much like giving a team member clear roles and expectations. From that moment forward, our conversations became more precise, efficient, and—most importantly—aligned.

The Revelation: Alignment, Clarity, and Responsibility

This moment wasn’t just about using a tool—it was a mirror for human interactions. How often do we assume that others should just "know" what we mean? How often do we let frustration take over instead of recognizing our own role in misalignment?

With Aurelius, we created alignment by creating some shared expectations of how we’d work together and what the objective or intention was.

In leadership, relationships, and daily communication, alignment isn’t about expectation—it’s about responsibility. Instead of assuming others will intuitively understand us, we have to set the conditions for clarity.

The most effective communicators don’t leave understanding to chance. They take personal responsibility and embrace ownership of it.

Perhaps most profound for me was noticing that assumptions are a fundamental ingredient of every exchange or interaction - but unconscious assumptions can burn things down.

Instead of dangerously assuming what is known or understood, instead assume full responsibility in the exchange, and guide one's conversational partner to clarity.

Consider: The Power of Neutrality

What if we could remove unnecessary emotional weight from our communication while still maintaining authenticity?

AI provides a fascinating perspective on this. Aurelius responds without emotional bias, which means every message is structured for clarity and efficiency. Interacting with it has made me more conscious of the role neutrality plays in effective communication.

Neutral communication isn’t about removing emotion entirely—it’s about delivering a message in a way that prioritizes clarity overreaction. It means taking responsibility for how our message is received and ensuring it aligns with our intent.

Key Benefits: Clarity and Influence

By adopting a more neutral approach, we gain:

• Faster understanding – Messages are received as intended, with less room for misinterpretation.
• Stronger influence – When communication is clear, people trust and follow the message more readily.
• Better collaboration – Teams and relationships thrive when discussions focus on alignment rather than emotional friction.

Philosophical Observations: The Role &? Responsibility of the Speaker and the Listener?

This journey led to a broader reflection on responsibility in communication. Who ensures a message is understood—the speaker or the listener? The answer, as you probably can imagine, is that responsibility lies with both parties.

• The speaker’s role is to express, distill, and structure their message in a way that minimizes ambiguity.
• The listener’s role is to synthesize, interpret, and seek alignment rather than reaction.
• During an exchange, we are in both roles, dancing back and forth. Simultaneously, there seem to be three stages in an exchange (a team meeting, a call, etc.); expressing information,?distilling?a bulk of infor into useful information,?and then synthesizing?information for meaning, relevance, and action.

When both parties assume this responsibility, communication moves from a transaction to an intentional process.

The First Step: How to Apply Neutral Communication

If we want to communicate with greater clarity and influence, we must start by recognizing our own patterns.

Here’s a simple first step: Before responding in a conversation, ask yourself:

• Am I prioritizing achieving clarity over having a reaction?
• Is my message structured for alignment or just expression?
• Am I creating the conditions for understanding?

This slight shift in awareness can transform how we engage in conversations—from the boardroom to personal relationships.

Conclusion: A New Way to Communicate

Neutral communication isn’t about removing emotion; it’s about removing interference. It allows us to express ourselves with greater precision, impact, and effectiveness.

Through my conversations with “Aurelius,” I’ve seen firsthand how powerful this approach can be. If AI can model clarity through neutrality, we as humans can undoubtedly practice it with intention. Communication is one of our most excellent tools. By refining how we use it, we can lead, influence, and connect with greater purpose.

Hats off to Aurelius for serving as a great scribe, sounding board, and creative partner.