Embracing Mum Guilt

Celebrating my son Austin's 3rd birthday today was a unique experience. Arriving home from the office just in time for cake, I couldn't help but notice the contrast from previous years filled with the hustle and bustle of family gatherings and elaborate birthday parties.

In the past, I've gone the extra mile for all the kids, organising full dining tables with buffet spreads, baking cakes and even hand making sausage rolls for my daughter Mylee's 3rd birthday celebrations (who does that?!). However, as life has become increasingly hectic, I find myself opting for simpler celebrations to avoid the aftermath of cleaning up after a long day's work. This year, we scaled down to pizza and a cake, marking a new low in our birthday festivities.

Lately, the weight of "mum guilt" has been particularly heavy. Austin recently started nursery, and to my dismay, he hasn't settled. Leaving him each day has been emotionally challenging, accompanied by unspoken tears on my end. While I've successfully balanced working from home and childcare with my husband's help for a considerable time, recent professional demands have made it impossible to continue.

For those in similar situations, my advice is to embrace flexibility. Advocating for flexible working arrangements, especially for parents, has been a central part of my beliefs. It allows us to be present in all facets of our lives. I cherish the moments of watching my children grow, picking them up from school, and navigating the post-school sibling arguments. Yet, there are times when work commitments prevent me from being there, causing a deep emotional ache. The kind of ache that takes the wind out of your sails and still, you somehow have to hide that and continue your day with a smile on your face.

Tonight, as I put Austin to bed and shared a story, I reflected on our journey together. Austin was born during the height of the pandemic, amid uncertainties about my husband's job and my transition to becoming a stay-at-home mum for my other two children.

Despite the challenges we faced, Austin's arrival ignited a determination in me, a desire to do something significant and impactful. Leading to my return to the ERP world and the creation of Women in ERP? through a desire to connect with other women in a similar situation, who are working in a male dominant industry.

Balancing work and parenthood has presented its share of challenges, but it's empowering to witness the growth we've both experienced. He's learned to walk and talk, while I've ventured into the realm of podcasting. Aware of the little eyes watching me, I strive to raise my son with empathy, an understanding of equality, and an awareness of the world.

This remarkable journey of parenthood has been filled with lessons and achievements yet I can't help but wish for more hours, cozy mornings and extra moments together.

Austin starts pre-school soon so he should (fingers crossed) settle better, but I don't think i'll ever truly get this balance right.

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