Embracing the mess in work and life

I have a mantra that I'm telling myself every day right now: Embrace the mess. 

It's been a chaotic month. In four weeks, I've spent a total of 11 days in my own bed. Some of it's been positive. Some of it's been challenging.

Here's what I've been noticing; both in myself and other women who are busy too.

When we're busy and overwhelmed, our instinct is often to rush around and ‘get it all done’. Push harder. Dig deeper. Keep going.

But here's the thing I've realised - I don't have capacity to push in all directions at once.

Lately, honouring this has meant making a choice to Clean or Create, to choose between tasks like:

- Tidying the kitchen or writing a chapter in my new book,

- Worrying about the washing or going for a run,

- Stressing over how much isn't getting done around my house or embracing the grand adventure of life.

Which sounds better to you?

It’s taken a long time to accept what my capacity is without feeling guilty, yet it’s strangely liberating to realise what my boundaries are and let other non-priorities slide. 

In letting my tight reign over everything relax just a little, I'm learning that there's magic in the mess and it seems to me that there is a sweet spot between Chaos and Control:

While systems and order (i.e. control) can make our lives more calm and productive, too much can be constraining - not to mention exhausting! When we try to control everything in our environment, we risk blocking the flow of life.  

On the other hand, too much chaos is also paradoxically constraining. It’s hardly liberating having to search for your keys every time you walk out the door, or running late for every meeting! 

Some points of reflection…

• Do you tend more towards Chaos or Control? If you’re like me (i.e. Control oriented), are there perhaps some areas in your life you can relax or soften around, particularly during times of busyness or stress? If you tend more towards Chaos mode, could you consider any systems that would actually give you more of the freedom you crave? 
• If you could, would you really want to Control your life? Some of the best things happen when we least expect it. While a certain amount of planning and order is very helpful, most of the magic in our lives isn’t something that we plan for. 
• Being able to ‘embrace the mess’ (whether the mess is physical or simply something in your life that doesn’t feel as perfect as you’d like) seems like a psychologically helpful thing to do. I’ve been learning about the art of acceptance in my Mindfulness Training; embracing difficult feelings doesn’t mean that we can’t take action to change things, it just means that we have the wisdom to accept them until we can. 

I’d love to know: Are you ‘embracing the mess’ in any area of your life right now? (This could apply to health, work, body image or anything for that matter.) I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

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Kali Gray is a Corporate Wellbeing Specialist who is passionate about helping executives and teams to feel good, work better and keep burnout at bay. With almost a decade of experience as a Clinical Dietitian and Nutritionist, Kali has worked across a broad range of industries, including finance, construction, oil and gas, automotive, retail, law and IT to help organisations to level up their wellbeing, productivity and performance. Kali is an author, speaker, international high performance coach and corporate wellbeing trainer.

For information on programs, training and workshops, please contact [email protected] or 0411 581 945.