Embracing imperfection

It's time we give women the freedom to be imperfect

The pressure on women to be perfect at work (and beyond) can be overwhelming. Despite strides toward gender equality, many women still feel the need to prove their worth through flawless performance, often at the expense of their mental health and overall well-being. The quest for perfectionism, while seemingly a pursuit of excellence, can lead to burnout, anxiety, and a stifling of creativity. As a society, it's crucial to address this issue and create environments where women can thrive without the crippling fear of making mistakes.

Perfectionism is not just about setting high standards; it's about setting standards that are impossibly high and punishing oneself for not meeting them.

And when we fail to meet them, many of us feel ashamed, embarrassed, stupid, or less-than. It's a narrative we've been taught to believe, and it's sick. Simply put: an "uh-oh" or "oh no" doesn't change your worth. Ever.

According to a 2023 study by the American Psychological Association, women are significantly more likely than men to experience perfectionism-related stress at work.?

This is often rooted in societal expectations and gender stereotypes that dictate women must not only be competent, but exceptional to gain the same recognition as their male counterparts.

A 2023 report by LeanIn.Org revealed that 61% of women feel like they have to work harder than men to prove their worth.?

Furthermore, women are twice as likely as men to say that they feel the pressure to be perfect in their work. This pressure is even more pronounced among women of color and those in leadership positions.

Progress, not perfection

Chronic stress, anxiety, burnout... Women who strive for perfection often find themselves working longer hours, taking on more tasks, and sacrificing their personal lives in the process. It leads to a vicious cycle where the fear of making mistakes leads to over-preparation and procrastination, further exacerbating self-doubt and burnout.

When women are afraid to take risks or make mistakes, they are less likely to propose bold ideas or take on challenging projects. And I’ve never met an ambitious woman who didn’t have valuable, powerful opinions that could create radical, positive change.

The hard truth is that when a woman feels the need to compare herself to a man in the workplace, she immediately hands over her power. And it has to stop.?

Your efforts are valuable.?

Your opinions matter.

Your work is important.?

Your ideas are innovative.

Your perspective is unique.?

Your contributions make a difference.?

Love who and where you are?

Breaking free from the perfectionism trap requires a multifaceted approach that involves both individual strategies and systemic changes within organizations.?

My thoughts on how? Happy to share!?

1. Redefine Success: Success shouldn’t be synonymous with perfection. Instead of striving for flawlessness, organizations, leaders, and individuals need to focus on continuous improvement and learning. Celebrate progress and effort, not just outcomes.
2. Embrace Mistakes: Mistakes are an inevitable and necessary part of growth. Encourage a culture where mistakes are seen as opportunities for learning rather than failures. If you’re in charge of people, it’s SO important to share your own mistakes and what you've learned from them to normalize imperfection.
3. Set Realistic Goals: Big dreams and goals are great, but the steps and timeline to get there have to be realistic. Break up larger projects, create milestones that are visible from where you currently stand and make a little room for correction along the way. Allowing a sense of accomplishment on the journey to the “big goal” is a game-changer.
4. Prioritize Self-Care: Self-care is not a luxury; it's a necessity. Take your PTO, make time for hobbies, and take a minute to breathe when you need to. No one shows up to work at 100% capacity every single day…so don’t expect it from yourself or others.?
5. Seek Support: Surround yourself with a supportive network of colleagues, mentors, and friends who understand the pressures you face and can offer guidance and encouragement. Asking for help is one of the hardest and best things I’ve ever done for myself, and doing so outside of work has changed how I view my importance at the workplace.?
6. Challenge Negative Self-Talk: You know the saying, “you are your own worst critic”? It’s true. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend who is coming to you for advice, why the hell would you say it to yourself and then believe it? See step 5 to start breaking that pattern. You deserve better.?
7. Advocate for Change: Organizations have to play their part in addressing perfectionism... a singular person can’t carry the weight of it all. BUT a single person CAN promote a healthy work-life balance, offer mental health support, and create an inclusive team culture where diverse talents are valued and mistakes are viewed as part of the learning process (a good way to practice step 3).?

Your worth is not defined by your ability to be perfect.?

I’ll say it again. Your worth is not defined by your ability to be perfect.?

Embracing imperfection allows us to be more authentic, resilient, and innovative. If you’ve overcome your need to be perfect, it’s time to start walking arm-in-arm with the women around you, paving a wider and more accessible path for others.

It's time to break free from the perfectionism trap. And it’s definitely time to accept that there’s beauty in being imperfect.?

So, here it is. You have officially been given permission to f*ck up and try again. To not be ashamed of learning. To do something, even if you don't do it well. To live out loud.