Embracing Gratitude During Holidays Amidst the Shadows of Envy and Jealousy

As we gather around the table this Thanksgiving, it's a time to reflect on gratitude, a cornerstone of the holiday. Yet, amidst the warmth of family and the abundance of feasting, I find myself contemplating a more complex emotional landscape. A recent conversation with a friend, an article in The New York Times in the wellness section (How to make envy work for you By Jancee Dunn), and my own introspection have led me to explore the interplay of Asūyā (discontent), īr?yā (jealousy), and Matsarya (envy) during these moments of supposed contentment.

Personal Reflection: Recently, a friend shared his plight of selling his family home to support his entrepreneurial dreams. Hearing his story, I felt a pang of gratitude for my stable home of 37 years. However, visiting another friend's palatial residence stirred unexpected feelings of jealousy. "Why didn't I upgrade when I had the chance?" I pondered. Similarly, I noticed a subtle envy when I renovated my lighting, influenced by my neighbor's home makeover. It was a realization that even in contentment, these emotions lurk subtly.

Theoretical Insights: Drawing from the Natya Shastra, these feelings are harmonics of the Nava Rasas, the nine fundamental emotions. A recent workshop I co-facilitated as part of our Institute of Indic Wisdom series in the bay area, we did exercises for participants to experience these emotions through body and breath, highlighting how they become feelings (by cognizing) and shape our thoughts and actions. While envy and jealousy are natural, they are secondary emotions, and often unacknowledged, parts of our emotional spectrum. So just working on these secondary emotions through Cognitive Behavior theory (CBT) approaches might not get to root causes.

The Thanksgiving Context: On Thanksgiving, a day earmarked for gratitude, these emotions are paradoxically potent. We're surrounded by symbols of what we have and, inadvertently, what we lack. As I sit with my family, expressing thanks, I'm also silently acknowledging the presence of Asūyā, īr?yā, and Matsarya. It's a dance of contrasting emotions, where gratitude and envy coexist. As I prepare for the holiday season this year, I am going to pay special attention to steps below to deal with my shadow side.

Practical Steps:

1. Acknowledge and Accept: Recognize these emotions without judgment. Understanding their roots in our desires and insecurities can be liberating.
2. Reflect on the Nava Rasas: Engage with these emotions through meditation or mindfulness practices. How do they manifest in your body and thoughts?
3. Cultivate Contentment: Focus on what you have, rather than what's missing. Small rituals of gratitude can shift the perspective.
4. Seek Balance: Engage in conversations that foster empathy and understanding, rather than comparison and competition.
5. Embrace Imperfection: Accept that these feelings are part of the human experience, and it's okay to feel them, even on Thanksgiving.

Conclusion: As I navigate these complex emotions this Thanksgiving, I'm reminded of the beauty of our human experience. It's not just about the joy and the laughter but also about acknowledging the shades of envy and jealousy that color our lives. It's a journey of embracing the full spectrum of our emotions, learning from them, and finding a path to true gratitude and contentment.

Happy Thanksgiving and happy holidays!

If you are interested in my other blogs on emotions, here are links to two of themhttps://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/expanding-emotional-palette-different-shades-joy-prasad-kaipa-67aqc

https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/universal-emotion-unraveling-many-layers-fear-prasad-kaipa-rff2e