Embracing Grace: Lessons From A Mother’s Journey through Terminal Cancer

This week's article was authored by?Curtis Scaplen, Co-Founder of Leadership in Focus, and President of?Action Consulting

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“There is a power greater than me at work, and someday, everything will make sense.”?

~ Carmie Scaplen

In honour of my mother's birthday, I've been contemplating her approach to life and how fortunate I am to have her foundation and teachings to draw from. Over five years ago, she received the devastating diagnosis of terminal cancer and was given only months to live. Yes, read that again.

Throughout my entire life, my mother has been a source of invaluable lessons, but witnessing her battle with absolute grace and dignity has inspired me beyond measure. Her mindset is incredible, her approach positive, and her impact on me will be everlasting.

Here are six key lessons I have not only been taught but also witnessed in action every day:

The Power of Faith:

My mother has never uttered the words "Why Me." When I asked her about it, she responded that, “there is a power greater than me at work, and someday, everything will make sense.”? She begins each day with prayer, finding solace in the knowledge that she is never alone, as a powerful presence from her God surrounds her.? We have had profound conversations about faith and our own personal journeys.? During my darkest times, fearing I might lose her too, she assured me she wasn’t going anywhere yet.? She had prayed to God to not let anything happen to her until she knew I was going to be okay.??

One of my favourite sayings I often hear her share with her grandchildren is “Our time on earth is like a grain of sand in an hourglass.? There is so much more for our spirit once we pass on.”

When in Doubt, Love More:

Whether it's her friends, family, children, or grandchildren, her love is unconditional. Her ability to lead with love and positivity is incredibly inspiring. As a young parent, I often sought her advice in moments of uncertainty. Her guidance was always, "If you are leading out of love, you are in the right place. And if you're unsure of what to do, just show them more love." This foundation of love is irreplaceable and imagine a world where we all adopted such an approach.

Moments Matter:

While this lesson has been magnified since her terminal diagnosis, she has always been present. From watching the sunset to sharing a three-minute phone call or FaceTime to express love and gratitude during family dinners or celebrating her grandchildren's achievements and birthdays, she treasures every moment. These seemingly insignificant moments add up to a truly blessed life. Finding the moments that matter is the key to happiness.

Kindness is not Weakness:

Many who know my mother might describe her as kind, but that's not the whole story. She's also earned the nickname "Law & Order" because she fiercely stands up for others when they are ill-treated or when she believes her family is in harm's way. Her strength lies in the love in her heart and her willingness to have difficult conversations and confront challenging situations. That balance is an unstoppable force in life and in business.? Kindness is a superpower of hers, but there isn’t anybody that would call her weak.??

Don't Talk About It, DO IT:

Her closest friends unanimously agree that what sets my mother apart is her willingness to act instead of merely talking about what needs to be done. Whether it's preparing food for a friend's family who recently lost a loved one, sending cards in the mail, or arranging lunch meetings with friends, she acts in the moment like no other.

I'll never forget the time when one of my best friends lost their mother, and I learned from family members at the funeral that my mother had spent hours with her at the hospital, offering comfort and support. If there's one thing, I hope you take away from reading this, it's to reach out to someone you've been thinking about and just do it!?

Your Mindset Can Make or Break Your Life:

By now, you've caught a glimpse of my mother's remarkable mindset. I am constantly in awe of it, and she's probably tired of me talking about it. Her focus on gratitude and living in the present is awe-inspiring. She understands that the past teaches us valuable lessons, and worrying about the future is futile because it may not even happen.

My Mother has transformed my perspective from "I have to" to "I get to." For instance, "I get to go for a walk in nature," "I get to attend this meeting in person," "I get to spend more time with my kids." She firmly believes that what we feed our minds is what we'll come to believe. During my darkest times, her voice would remind me to "break the cycle" and find the positive aspect or lesson in any situation.

Closing Thoughts:

Five years ago, my mother received some of the worst news a person could receive. She had a choice to make succumb to anger and spend her remaining time wondering "why me," or embrace the powerful lessons she has demonstrated throughout the past several years. I've been blessed with a front-row seat to witness one of the greatest fights of all time. I hope that you, too, can take away a nugget or two from her extraordinary journey.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Curtis Scaplen?is a co-founder of?Leadership in Focus?and President of?Action Consulting. With over 20 years of experience across various industries, he is a relationship-driven leader who has worked on unique projects in over 30 countries globally. Curtis is passionate about challenging the status quo and solving customer problems, and his curiosity for continuous improvement has taken him all over the world. He is dedicated to the growth and sustainability of the Atlantic Region since moving back to Atlantic Canada from Toronto in 2015.