Embracing Emotional Courage: The Key to Meaningful Leadership Conversations

Can you recall a conversation, personal or professional, that went horribly wrong?

Think back to the state of your world at the time when it took place. Were you under some kind of stress, emotionally charged in a less than positive manner, when you entered the conversation?

It is not entirely your fault. Once we understand the biology behind our brain’s behavior and how it impacts areas of logical thinking, we can learn how to recognize the red flags to better approach any potentially difficult dialogue.

Stress is your body’s normal response to situations involving changes, challenges, or demands in your physical environment or your perceptions of what’s happening around you.? It is not to be confused with “distress” which is prolonged, severe, and usually highly overwhelming.

Everyone experiences some kind of stress. It can be positive and motivating, like the adrenaline and cortisol rush moving you into action before a competition, first date, presentation, or job interview.

In small doses, it can prevent you from getting hurt like when hitting the brakes to avoid an accident.

When overused longer term, that heightened sense of alertness or sense of urgency can be misleading as a good thing.

Your brain is signaled by stress to protect you from danger. It’s that fight, flight, or freeze condition that happens when physical harm is imminent. Or in primitive times when life or death was at stake, to escape a saber tooth tiger.

When chronically triggered by those invisible “tigers”, it can be detrimental to your health, relationships, finances, career, and business.

Symptoms may differ from person to person. Never underestimate how emotional stress can have several cognitive effects on the brain, including:?

• Impaired decision making or judgement

During stressful situations, the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for decision making and problem solving, may not function as well.?This can make it difficult to think through a situation objectively to make decisions (like calling for help) or losing patience by using destructive comments, then irrationally firing an employee.?

• Memory lapses and Thinking problems

When the amygdala, which controls emotions and survival instincts, takes over during a stressful situation, the parts of the brain that store memories can become impaired.?This can lead to forgetfulness or memory lapses, especially during traumatic events.? You lack focus because of “brain fog” making it hard to concentrate and complete tasks.

That’s not an ideal situation during an important job interview or work project deadline.

• Brain structure changes

Your brain has a crucial auto pilot duty. Yet, you have the ability to train it how to respond in unhealthy ways. Chronic stress can cause an imbalance in the brain's gray and white matter, which can lead to permanent structural changes.?The prefrontal cortex may shrink, while the amygdala may increase in size, making the brain more receptive to stress.?

Chronic stress can accelerate brain aging and increase the risk of neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s or Dementia.

The number of people over 65 affected by those diseases is doubling every five years. Both my parents suffered from these diseases. That’s a highly undesirable outcome.

• Hormonal changes?

When a person is stressed, the brain releases adrenaline and cortisol to prepare the body for action.?These hormones can help a person get through difficult situations, but prolonged exposure to them can have negative effects.?For example, cortisol can create a cycle that makes the brain more likely to be in a constant state of fight-or-flight.??

Chronic stress can also lead to the production of less serotonin, which can cause feelings of depression, anxiety, general malaise, and hopelessness.??

Serotonin is usually known only for its role in happiness. It plays several other important functions in your body. Serotonin influences learning, memory, body temperature, sleep, hunger and sex drive. Only 10% is made in your brain. The other 90% comes from your gut derived from an essential amino acid called tryptophan that only comes from the foods you eat.?

According to a 2023 survey by the American Psychological Association,?77% of workers reported experiencing work-related stress in the previous month.?

According to Princeton Survey Research Associates, 75% of employees believe workers have more stress on the job than previous generations.?

A periodic short-term stress response is not unhealthy. More chronic stress can promote illness, both mentally and physically. Seeking professional help might be the best course of action in those instances.?

In this high-level overview, you can see how stress affects both your body and your brain then ultimately your behavior. The good news is, with your help, the brain can adapt to the changes in your life.

The first step is to know what your stress symptoms are and adopt practices to manage. Deep breathing or thinking of something that makes you laugh are simple ways to find quick relief.?

If you are about to approach your teenager, co-worker, boss, or tough client, ask for a brief time out to empathetically center yourself, ponder a perspective shift, before initiating any dialogue.?

Our incredible brains expertly manage our inner systems and processes. It needs your help when coping to better understand your outer world. Reel yourself in and compassionately starting with Heart, can better protect your physical well-being and prevent future conversations at home or at work from going horribly wrong.

“In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.” – Fred Rogers?a/k/a Mister Rogers

An American television host, author, producer, and Presbyterian minister

A PERSONAL NOTE: ?

Since 2011 Coaching InDeed Inc. has had the privilege of serving professionals and business owner leaders seeking to develop their ability to FOCUS on human-centric communication skills and a perceptive mindset toward themselves, the workplace, their business, and at home resulting in long term positive behavioral change supported by well-crafted conversations.

To request a complimentary conversation for insights, let's connect and contact @Donna J. Spina PCC via LinkedIn DM.