Embracing the adventure

As an experienced global traveler, one would think I’ve mastered the art of time shifting. My hotel mirror in Stockholm suggested otherwise.?With eyes undergirded by heavy carry-on bags, crepe paper hands cracking under the dry air, and nightly tossing and turning activating a hundred static gray follicle antennas, I was clearly a mess. After sleepless nights continued, I realized an evening walk would do me some good. Wishing my colleagues good night, I ventured into the streets with no sense of direction and purpose.

About thirty minutes into my aimless wandering, I passed a bar advertising – and I’m not making this up – “Stranger’s Night.” Not speaking Swedish, I couldn’t comprehend the chalkboard words written in big letters on the door and had entered only because I heard singing and was seeking a beer and warmth. It was around 10:00pm CET on Valentine’s Day, and the proprietor thought it would be fun to offer an alternative to people on their own.

Upon entry my coat was taken by a somber older gentleman and unceremoniously throw into a pile. A young woman who could not stop laughing instructed me to write “a name” – not my name – on a clipboard. She pointed to the bar and told me to “wait until you’re called” and “have fun!”

My pint still settling, a smiling middle-aged man yelled, “Paul!” and the same young woman jumped quickly onto a make-shift stage, still beaming. As the music began, she closed her eyes and belted out an amazing rendition of the Beatle’s?Across the Universe. About halfway through the song, an equally curious, but cautious, new patron came up to the bar and ordered his drink. I said hello and that was when I learned that this was his first Stranger’s Night (“That’s what it said!” I responded). An expat from Norway, his good friend had suggested he not sit at home on one of the loneliest nights of the year. We clinked glasses as the refrain of?“…nothing’s gonna change my world…” rang into the night.

The minutes quickly passed, and suddenly I was shuttled to clipboard duty, my smile wide as I instructed a new joiner to write “any name you’d like.” A mere thirty seconds later the cry for “Neil!” went up from our amazing host. Applause thundered and I took a deep breath – that was me. Not a particularly strong singer, I found myself relieved when the unmistakable opening notes of?Sweet Caroline?began. I quietly thanked God it wasn’t a Neil Young song, as those notes are beyond my limited reach.

People came and went as the songs continued, each unwitting soul thrilled by the experience and the instant camaraderie. An hour after my entry, I dug through the coat pile, wished my new friends a warm goodbye, and reentered the streets of Stockholm for the walk back to my hotel.

It’s been five weeks since that experience, but what sticks with me the most is that feeling of connectedness and spontaneous joy. After years of both physical and emotional isolation, being in the world in such an unexpected way sparked something clearly missing in my life, and perhaps yours. The solution may be as simple as engaging with a neighbor you barely know, the grocery clerk you see on Sunday, or the new joiner to your organization trying to find their way. Regardless of who and how, opening ourselves to others may require more effort and intention than in the past as we rebuild that muscle of community with our fellow humans.

Where it began, I can’t begin to knowing.?(Or “Good times never seemed so good.” ?? )

With warm regards,?

— Mark Stelzner

Founder/Managing Principal/Neil Diamond Fan, IA

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