Embrace Your Inner Barbie
The Barbie movie had me unearth feelings I buried for years. Feelings I hadn't realised bothered me at all. Feelings you wouldn't relate to a confident woman.?
I Hated Barbie
Growing up, I never owned a Barbie doll. Barbie had strange feet which helped her slip comfortably into her heels,?long hair which only looked great for a while, and a bright smile all day every day. At 8, I was the girl who held my sisters' Barbie by her long calves and snipped her hair off. Ahhh so much satisfaction ... to the horrors of my little sis. Yes, I am one of many who turned Stereotypical Barbie into Weird Barbie.
I Loved Colour
I was practically raised by my babysitter till 10 so I spent lots of time watching my babysitter's daughter going about her assignments. She studied art and was going to become a designer. They had little time to play with me, so I spent countless hours carefully going through her art and craft supplies. Instead of playing with dolls, I had plain wooden mannequins you would find in an art store. I found peace turning colour wheels and soon developed an acute sense of colour. Colours in all its glorious shades made my day. Yet colours only lived in my head, my heart and in my abstract paintings and HD dreams.?
Then came teenage years. I went to an all-girls school which took pride in raising ladies to thrive at home and in society. All of us were made to attend the 'Colour Me Beautiful' workshop to learn how to dress professionally in colours and shapes that flatter.
The Gender & Colour Bias
While I dreamt in full colour, I wore only black, navy and neutrals.?Pink was a stereotypical 'No'. Purple maybe. When girls wore pink, we were assumed to be playful, and incapable of intelligent conversations. As it was, even without the pink outfits, people would approach the boys at the Computing Club for tips on how to solve questions from their Disrcete Mathematics tutorial. Ah well, more peace for me. So black and navy for the win.
Fast forward to womanhood. I head to work with long hair, and heels. Minus the long calves :). I carried a smile whenever I could. Not the easiest thing to do in a corporate world of dark blazer suits devoid of colour. Everyone looked like everyone else. Black, grey, blue and neutrals in varying shades. My mood soon became as dull as the wardrobe I owned - Dark and gloomy. The pants didn't help. They added to laundry and rarely agreed with my hips.
Then one day, I switched to dresses initially still black and brooding. Then I added accessories to ease in the colours. Bold accessories were the cheeky pops of colour that added character without drawing too much attention. That's right. I loved colour just like how I could spend hours picking colours on the colour wheel, just like how my senses would come alive when I brushed my forearm across the clothes in the store. I instinctively knew what would flatter my skin tone and what wouldn't. Yet making a switch from bright accessories to vibrant flattering clothes took a lot more courage even as I entered adulthood.
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I wasn't ready to be typecast for my choice of colours, not before I have proven myself in my career.
I know it sounds ridiculous. Why would we be judged by the colours we wear?
Every Girl's Nightmare - Uninvited Attention
Purple and violet attracted too much unwanted attention and innuendo, so that didn't last long as work outfits. Friends who have known me long enough would know purple and green are my favourite colours even as a kid. So it sucked that I could only feel comfortable in purple on the weekends when I could just be myself - unjudged by the world. Green was associated with positive things like harmony and growth so invited only positive comments. It wasn't long before my favourite shop started bringing in various shades of green and prints into their collection.
Then came July 2023 - the release of the Barbie movie. Remember how I didn't love Barbie growing up, and dressed in shades I didn't love to work? Decked in pink, I was ready for the juxtaposition of Stereotypical Barbie and Ken in Barbie World, and the real world. I smiled each time Barbie wore whatever made her feel happy and confident in all shades of the rainbow. For the next few days, I decided to bring playfulness back to the office, one outfit at a time. Unsolicited comments aplenty but honestly it was about time I ignored what others had to say and focused on the simple joys colours and fashion brought to my life. My happiness meter was at an all-time high and the energy was contagious.
Bye brooding Xueling. No more looking like everyone else who isn't ready to bring fun back to the workplace! See you all in the lovely shades of the rainbow. It is time to embrace my inner Weird Barbie. To all the women out there - May 2023 and beyond be bright again.