Embrace the Suck

You leave the military with plenty of awesome sayings and some pretty bad-ass clichés:

“Think outside the box”

“High speed, low drag”

“Every dog has its day”

“Nothing good comes easy”

“Spotlight ranger”

“Tactical pause”

“Blue Falcon”

“Soup Sandwich”

“The only easy day was yesterday.” (Had to put this one in so my SEAL friends would keep reading…)

But my favourite, and the one that sticks true for me as a confirmed FAG: Former Action Guy, is this one: “Embrace the suck.”

It’s an understatement to say Special Operations training in the military is difficult. By its very design it’s meant to weed out the many who only “want” to be there and select only those worthy of the time and energy necessary to hone them into world class unconventional warriors.  

But how does it work?

Allow me to back up for a moment. My wife has worked in the clinical research field for years. When we were stationed outside of Nashville, Tennessee she worked at Vanderbilt University Medical Center. Many of her friends and coworkers were fellow military spouses (the bulk of them married to officers – which I wasn’t). 

I was an 18C (Special Forces Engineer) on an A-team and at any social gathering I’d be asked by her friend’s husbands the trick to making it into Special Forces. As if there is just one thing you need to know, like an insider’s stock tip… 

The question really irritated me, and I didn’t normally know what to say. I’d contemplate giving them pearls of wisdom like “Don’t quit” or “Just remember the Three E’s: Everything Eventually Ends.” but those both seemed a bit contrite/passive aggressive and I didn’t want to be as ass or act like I had an ego. Also, irritating my wife in front of her friends has long been NO-GO territory for me. So… my go-to technique was to quote my all-time favorite radio personality, Bob Lacey from the “Bob and Sheri Show”, with a healthy and hearty “Good Luck To Ya!” I’d also normally add a “and try to have fun with it” for good measure.

But, as I always end up doing… I ended up giving the topic quite a bit of thought. 

One of the best things I realized about the Q Course (Special Forces Qualification Course) was the design and the various methods through which they’d “shift your paradigm” (to add some business buzz words here) in order to make each candidate learn to “Embrace the Suck”.

When we started off at Phase 1 (which, when I went through was SFAS or “Selection”) EVERYTHING we did had me thinking and obsessing about how much it SUCKED. Everything I did sucked. Raw, primal, SUCK. The kind of suck which makes you think time stands still. The kind that makes you think the event will never end. 

But… The events did end. Eventually. And then Selection ended. Finally. 

And then those of us fortunate enough to be selected went to the next phase of training. And (if you worked hard enough, learned quick enough, and recovered from injuries quick enough) to the next phase.  And the next… 

And each phase sucked. I’ll clarify: Each phase had an element of really hard-core SUCK embedded in it. Some phases were highly academic in nature - but the cadre always took special care to make sure there were many elements of suck embedded nonetheless. It seemed comfort was their enemy and they made damn sure we were never comfortable.

But an amazing thing started to happen. I started to care less about what was next on the schedule or how bad it was going to suck. In fact, I learned to embrace it and welcome it because I knew it was par for the course. It was going to occur whether I wanted it to or not. Where I, and others, had been fearful of it (or at the very least resistant to it) I now learned to expect it. To love it. 

I knew it was the fire in which I was to be forged. It’s not just a “Successories” poster on the wall featuring a soaring eagle and a snow-capped mountain background: I learned that my mind truly is my greatest weapon. Keeping a vigilant eye on maintaining the proper mindset was incredibly important to my future - especially if I ever hope to be deemed worthy enough to earn and wear the Green Beret.

Learning to Embrace the Suck not only helped make me a Special Forces soldier, but also prepared me to be an entrepreneur, businessman, program manager, husband, and father. 

I know things are going to go wrong, I know life is going to be hard, I know plans won’t happen, I know money won’t come as I expect - but I embrace it as par for the course. 

Why? Because I realize that no matter how great I think I am - life often has other plans for me and to achieve my goals I need to Embrace the Suck and get on with it.  

Everything is temporary, and everything ends. I had to learn this and trust me - you’d be better off if you were able to as well.