Embrace Self-Compassion with 3 Easy Steps

Embrace Self-Compassion with 3 Easy Steps

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. — Carl Rogers

Compassion is essential these days. We can start with self-compassion. Like many of you, I had a lot on my plate and was trying to manage many requests and respond to the needs of people. Then I got some difficult news. I could feel a sense of overwhelm.??

Kristin Neff offers a simple process that can serve each of us. First, simply notice what is happening in your body and say to yourself, “This is a moment of suffering.” You might also put your hand on your heart. Next, recognize that “Suffering is a common human experience.” All of us face challenges and this is a part of living on this earth. Third, we evoke compassion and kindness, “May I be kind to myself.”

Yes, it is simple and this makes it easy to remember in a time of stress or self-belittlement. It corresponds to what Deb Dana and Stephen Porges talk about in Polyvagal Theory. When you feel overwhelmed, notice that your nervous system is in a survival response. They call this dorsal (freeze) or sympathetic (fight/flight) reaction. Next, recognize that we all have moments where we shift from ease into a state of protecting ourselves. Finally, we can wish for kindness and allow some ventral energy to regulate our bodies. With practice, we can develop strategies to do so with ease. For example, I focus on grounding myself in the present moment, breathing, appreciating the moment, and being grateful or optimistic that things will work out. I call this taking an Open Stance.???

The great news is that when I am self-compassionate and calm my nervous system, I have more capacity to be compassionate with others. When I take an Open Stance and am feeling safe, others can experience this and it helps them to regulate and also become calmer.??

Just as trees are connected by their roots we are always influencing others, both consciously and unconsciously. I can be more compassionate when I recall that everyone is being influenced by their environment and others and we, as humans, naturally become dysregulated. Compassion is one of the Open Stance Postures, when we practice compassion with ourselves and others, we are supporting wellbeing, and connections and making a difference.?


Wishing you self-compassion. What supports you during challenging moments?

Alexandra Elinsky MBA, PhD

2X Best-Selling Author??Top International Empowerment Coach of the Year 2024??Celebrity Keynote Speaker?? Featured on FOX, ABC, & NBC ??15X Business Award Winner???Author of GIRL GRIT??Best Coaching Services in the USA??

1 年

Thank you for sharing - I love this topic. I will send it to my friends in need.

要查看或添加评论,请登录

Ann Van Eron的更多文章

  • Navigating Uncertainty

    Navigating Uncertainty

    The winds of change are blowing fiercely in every corner of our world. Everywhere I go, people are talking about the…

    3 条评论
  • Embracing Unpredictability

    Embracing Unpredictability

    Life, in all its unpredictability, has a way of reminding us that we are not in control. From the global disruptions of…

  • A Journey to Openness

    A Journey to Openness

    Throughout my life, I've embarked on a personal growth journey for myself and my coaching and leadership course…

    2 条评论
  • “What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” -Emerson

    “What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” -Emerson

    Thank you for our connection. Here is an Open Stance Posture Reflection that supports resilience.

    3 条评论
  • What's Depleting Your Energy?

    What's Depleting Your Energy?

    I was in a car with a friend not long ago, heading to a destination we were both excited about. But as we drove, her…

    4 条评论
  • It Shouldn't Be This Way!

    It Shouldn't Be This Way!

    In recent weeks, I've heard numerous expressions of frustration: "This shouldn't be happening." Whether it's inclement…

    1 条评论
  • Navigating Uncertainty with Openness: Insights from Leaders in Open Stance Circles

    Navigating Uncertainty with Openness: Insights from Leaders in Open Stance Circles

    In today's world, we are constantly navigating a landscape marked by polarization, conflict, and rapid change. In such…

  • Why is Connection So Important for Leaders?

    Why is Connection So Important for Leaders?

    Leaders often prioritize results and productivity, which is undeniably critical. However, in a rush to meet deadlines…

    2 条评论
  • Is Peer Coaching for You?

    Is Peer Coaching for You?

    In an era where leadership demands not just skills but also emotional intelligence and an open mindset, Open Stance…

    2 条评论
  • Is Joy Possible?

    Is Joy Possible?

    Like many, I've often heard parents express their deepest wish for their children: 'I want her to be happy.' I, too…

    1 条评论

社区洞察

其他会员也浏览了