Embrace a Purposeful Life to Move From Anxiety to Absolute Authenticity

I was listening to author David Whyte being interviewed, and he talked about a great many wise and profound things. As I was driving and he was being asked to talk to the pervasive anxiety that seems to be preoccupying people at the moment, I was struck by the truths in his response about the role of our devices in magnifying the peripheral mind, which literally grounds us to our physical proximity.

We’re lonely because we are not grounded and immersed in our physicality, which makes us anxious. The sky above us, the trees and people around us, and the ground beneath our feet are all things, when we are aware of them and engaged with them, help soothe our nervous systems and give us a gentle but profound sense of belonging, He believes that this lower grade chronic anxiety was then exacerbated during the COVID years, when there was so much physical isolation.

He rather beautifully said that, when we are present in our environment, it invites us deeper into “the one that waits”—that subtle but intuitive and wiser part of us.

This ties in wonderfully with a challenge I was issued this week, to live a purposeful life, because without presence life becomes driven by distraction and default rater than purpose.

Leading a purposeful life means to engage in actions and make decisions that align with our core values, passions, and goals. It involves a sense of direction and meaning, where our daily activities contribute to something larger than ourselves. When we speak and act according to our purpose, it means we are authentically aligned with what really, truly is needed in that moment.

Sometimes though, I find I can get quite confused about what is actually needed in the moment. This is predominantly because I’ve been on a growth journey to learn how to have and hold healthy boundaries, and I am acutely aware that when I am overthinking something, it’s usually because an old pattern is triggered.

The advice I was given, is to really look at the core driver behind my thoughts. Are they healthy? Are they driven by unresolved stress (i.e. an old pattern)? Or is this a flat out boundary that needs to be expressed? The more I can align and discern that, the more I am going to understand more clearly who I am.

Confusion, Evette Rose says, is a mild type of dissociation. So when I’m feeling confused, it’s a good time to step back and acknowledge “okay, this is a protection barrier, a default, coming up, because whatever I am thinking or whatever is happening right now is making me feel unsafe or vulnerable”. Then, crucially, ask yourself “Is this situation truly something that should make me feel vulnerable and unsafe?”

If the answer is no, then it’s an old wounded part of me. Evette recommended that I love that part of me and tell her “We are okay, where we are today. I see you. You are back there in the past; come to me, because here we are safe. In the here and now we are empowered, things are going well, we’ve learned a lot and we are safe”.

Something I’d been confused about lately was the next step to take with my property manager on a number of outstanding things around the property that I’d been expecting to see in progress. I had followed up asking for an update a couple of weeks ago and have heard nothing in response. The delays and lack of communication are particularly annoying as the plans and expectations about timing were set by the property manager and the owners, not me.

Applying Evette’s advice, I discerned that it is the lack of updates when commitments are made and not followed through in the time indicated, even when followed up, which was annoying me; not the work itself. Considering that this is my home and the significant rent I pay to live here, it seems reasonable to be kept in the loop, especially if there are delays or changes to plans.

In essence it’s a matter of basic courtesy and respect for me, a personal boundary.

With this in mind, I made sure my follow up was clear that, because I haven't heard back after my follow-up email about the outstanding work, I'm consequently feeling a bit disrespected and losing trust. That is my biggest concern, not the issues themselves.

However, the reason I've been overthinking this, is because part of me looks forward to owning a home again. My sense of insecurity is separate from the property manager’s responsibilities, but staying informed would certainly ease my concerns and give me comfort that I might get a decent heads up if the owner’s decide to retire here any time soon, as is their eventual plan.

That is work I need to do with the inner part of myself, which needs reassurance and reminding that, right now, in this present moment, we are safe. And should we need to find another rental before we buy somewhere again, that will work out to, as I have the capability and resources.

In navigating these thoughts and challenges, I'm reminded of the importance of living a purposeful life. Sometimes that can mean something as obvious as “Am I pursuing a purposeful career?” or “Am I acting on purpose in my parenting?” but sometimes it’s about the gnarly distractions of everyday life and how to navigate those. In each case, it's about aligning our actions with our deepest values and aspirations, staying present in each moment, and finding clarity amidst confusion.

Whether it's facing uncertainties with property management or exploring inner growth, each step we take towards authenticity and alignment brings us closer to a life filled with meaning and fulfillment. Take a moment to reflect on your journey—are your daily choices and actions leading you towards a life of purpose and connection?

If you enjoyed reading this, you may enjoy Be Purposeful in Your Focus - Your Glass Is Actually Still Half Full, Presence Your True Needs, Talents and Desires to Step Into the State of Fullness , Take the Quantum Leap: Nurture Your Creativity and Intuition to Craft a Life of Purpose and The Alchemy of Mentorship and Self-Discovery in Unlocking Growth. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.