Embrace the Journey: Healing Perfectionism and Overachieving

"I am struggling with perfectionism, Nadja. How do I get over that? How do I let go of the need to please, to overachieve, and finally feel content with where I am now?"

Perfectionism is a theme that resonates with many of us, especially those who strive for excellence in their professional and personal lives.

This week, we explore what it means to shift from perfectionism to embracing our wholeness.

We will dive into the journey of overcoming the need for constant achievement and finding the balance between striving for growth and appreciating where we are.

This question came from one of my recent emotional intelligence sessions, and it resonated deeply. It's something I personally struggled with for many years, ever since childhood.

"Perfectionism is more than just a desire to do well; it's a coping mechanism that keeps us in a cycle of over-criticism and relentless striving.

Perfectionists often hold excessively high standards, feeling they must achieve flawlessness. This mindset can lead to constant self-criticism and an overwhelming need to control every aspect of life."

For me, this struggle stemmed from my position as a middle child, always comparing myself to my elder siblings, and from feeling like an outsider in school—working hard to fit in, hoping that achievements would fill the deep void I felt inside. That inner voice constantly whispered:

‘You will never be enough.’

But today, that voice has changed. It now tells me:

‘You are more than enough.’

Parts of us carry emotional wounds from the past, moments when we felt unseen or not accepted for who we truly are. Without addressing these emotions, they continue to fuel our need for perfectionism and validation. When we start to acknowledge and release these feelings, we open up the path to inner peace and self-worth.

Welcome to your EQ Oasis Weekly Digest!

Each day, we’ll focus on practical tools, reflections, and stories to help you shift from perfectionism to self-acceptance and emotional freedom.

Monday: Moonlight Motivation ??

Transforming Emotional Pain into Personal Power

Imagine carrying two bottles: one filled with water, the other with soda. Shake the soda bottle, and it explodes; shake the water, and it stays calm. Emotional regulation is about learning to be like water—steady and strong, no matter how much you’re shaken.

If you’re ready to explore how to transform pain into personal power, check out the EQ Oasis Newsletter for a deeper dive.

Tuesday: Mars in Motion ??

Podcast Episode: Overcoming the Fear of Being Seen

In Tuesday's episode of Selfies of the Mind, we dive into the fear of visibility. How often do we hold ourselves back from stepping into our full potential due to the fear of judgment? Join me as I share my own journey, and listen to insights on how to build emotional resilience. Discover the tools for embracing vulnerability and using it as a strength.

?? Tune in to the episode here.

Wednesday: Mercury’s Wisdom ??

A Note From Your Future Self to inspire resilience to never give up on your vision or dreams.

Hey you,

You did it.

You broke through barriers that once seemed impossible. And you did it, not by being perfect, but by embracing the parts of yourself others tried to make you doubt.

You always led from the heart, with a soft spot for people.

But they told you that leading from the heart was weak. They said it wouldn’t get you anywhere. They insisted it wouldn’t be taken seriously.

They were wrong.

You persevered. You kept your eyes on the prize, even when doubt crept in—when your imperfections made you question your worth.

And yet, you discovered something powerful: Your imperfections were never obstacles. They were stepping stones.

A world in tech where leaders lead with both their hearts and minds.

A world in tech where burnout and mental health challenges are the exception, not the norm.

A world where cybersecurity is no longer just a technical discipline but a new leadership approach for the digital age.

You faced countless obstacles.

Doors slammed in your face, people threw sticks and stones,

And some even tried to clip your wings.

But they forgot something important:

You have claws, my dear. And your ability to grow doesn’t come from being flawless. It comes from accepting the cracks and still learning how to fly. Because those cracks are where your light shines through.

Thank you.

Because of your persistence, your vision, and your willingness to embrace your imperfections as your greatest strengths.

Life in the digital age has become more human.

Life in the digital age is no longer so lonely.

And life in the digital age is becoming safer.

So, from the future:

Keep going. You’ve got this.

Not because you’re perfect, but because you’re brave enough to lead with your heart, perfectly imperfect which makes you unstoppable.

With love,

Your Future Self

Thursday: Jupiter’s Growth ??

Podcast Episode: From Overworking to Inner Peace

Are you struggling with finding balance in a world that glorifies hustle culture? In this episode, I’ll share my personal journey from burnout to serenity. We’ll explore how emotional intelligence can guide us to shift from achievement-driven stress to purpose-driven fulfillment.

Listen in as we redefine success together. Tune in below.

Friday: Venus Friday ??

Overcoming Perfectionism through a soulful moment reminding us that it is never about achieving a state of perfection, but to immerse in the journey of aspiring to live our highest and truest expression of self.

Perfect. Perfection. Perfecting.

Three words that shaped her life’s journey.

She believed the goal of life was to be perfect.

She believed the pursuit of perfection was the only path.

She believed she had to perfect herself in every way imaginable.

That’s what life taught her—if she wasn’t perfect, she wasn’t enough.

If she wasn’t perfect, she wouldn’t get the job or the promotion.

If she wasn’t perfect, she wouldn’t find love.

If she wasn’t perfect, she would be rejected.

If she wasn’t perfect, she would be left out in the cold.

Her worthiness became a reflection of her endless journey toward perfection.

But she never reached that destination.

Because she discovered the truth: it was all a lie.

A lie meant to keep her from realizing her true power.

Because if she saw how powerful she was in her imperfection, in her flaws, in her authenticity,

They could no longer control her.

They could no longer make her feel less than enough.

They could no longer convince her to spend more, to fill the void of worthlessness.

They could no longer keep her contained in the claws of control.

So she let go of perfection.

Instead, she embraced excellence as her guiding North Star.

You see, excellence didn’t demand her to be less, think less, or show up as less than she was.

Excellence embraced her as she was and inspired her to live beyond her potential.

Excellence encouraged her to unlock the unique talents and gifts lying dormant in her soul,

So she could shine like a diamond in the dark skies of others.

Excellence pushed her to serve something far greater than perfection could ever imagine.

Something that resided in her soul, an essence invisible to the mind and felt through her heart.

And with that, the heavy burden of perfection dissolved.

In its place, excellence gave birth to a perfectly imperfect divine being,

One who embraced the truth of her worth.

Saturday: Saturn’s Shield ??

Building Boundaries with Work

When you’re driven in your career, it’s easy to blur the lines between work and life. The pressure to perform, to always say “yes,” and to meet expectations can leave you exhausted and disconnected from your personal life.

Does this sound familiar?

The emails that never stop. The expectation to always be available. The need to prove your worth through productivity, even at the expense of your emotional energy. That’s where burnout sneaks in.

But here’s the truth: Setting boundaries with work is not a sign of weakness—it is your foundation for your well-being. Setting boundaries are not barriers but they represent your standards for living a higher quality of life.

There’s another way.

What if instead of overextending yourself, you could set clear boundaries with work?

Boundaries aren’t about slacking off. They protect your emotional energy while ensuring you still show up fully, both in your career and in your personal life. It’s not about doing less—it’s about doing what matters most, on your terms.

Here’s how to start building those boundaries and reclaiming balance in your work-life relationship:

1. Define Your Non-Negotiables: First, identify your non-negotiables—whether it’s logging off at a specific time, protecting your weekends, or taking breaks during the day. These non-negotiables help you protect your emotional energy and create structure around your work.
2. Communicate Expectations Clearly: Boundaries only work when communicated. Whether it’s telling your team, “I don’t take work calls after 6 PM,” or setting clear boundaries for email response times, make sure others understand your limits. Boundaries aren’t about hiding—they’re about transparency and respect.
3. Resist the Guilt: It’s easy to feel guilty when you start setting boundaries at work. But remember: Setting boundaries is an act of self-respect. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Resist the urge to over-apologize for protecting your well-being.
4. Create Space for What Matters: Setting boundaries isn’t about being less committed—it’s about being committed to what matters most. Healthy work boundaries ensure that you still have time and energy for your loved ones, your passions, and your personal well-being.

The Road Ahead:

Building boundaries with work doesn’t mean you’re any less dedicated to your career. It means you’re creating space to bring your best self to all areas of your life—without sacrificing your peace or emotional well-being. ??

You don’t have to be available 24/7 to prove your worth. It’s time to protect your energy and embrace a healthier, more balanced approach to work and life. ?

Sunday: Solar Shine ??

Affirmation Practice

Embrace your inherent worth with these affirmations:

1. Wholeness: "I am whole, just as I am. My worth is inherent."
2. Contentment: "I find peace in the present moment. I am enough."
3. Self-Love: "I nurture and care for myself unconditionally."
4. Sufficiency: "I am sufficient in every way. I have enough, I am enough."
5. Inner Fulfillment: "My fulfillment comes from within. I am at peace."
6. Rest: "Rest is an act of self-worth. I honor my need for it."
7. Inner Peace: "I embrace my true self and find calm in knowing I am enough."

P.S. For the full deep dive of this week's EQ Vitamins and insights into grounding, clarity, and self-trust, join the EQ Oasis newsletter for exclusive content to support your journey to resilience and self-love. ??

Looking Ahead

Next week, we’ll dive into overcoming narcissistic relationships. Stay tuned for deeper insights and practical tools for healing.

Thank you for being here. Remember, worth is not earned; it’s yours to own.

With love and gratitude,

Nadja ?? ?? ??

P.S. If this resonates, share it with someone who needs to know they are more than enough too.

P.S.S If you are ready to dive in deeper...

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