Embrace and Elevate: 6 Powerful Strategies for Handling Negative Feedback

How does the current generation of working professionals handle negative feedback? Very poorly, I would say. If we ask someone to redo the submitted work or revise a presentation then we are met with teary eyes and explanations (never excuses, mind you…) about how hard they worked even through their weekends and sickness. Ask them to go visit a client to address issues you yourself have messed up and we are met with expressions of shock and disbelief…how can you take a client’s side and not your colleague’s? Don’t you trust your own employees?! Add to this, the drama that a manger has to go through after a poor appraisal or even average appraisal?

Why is everyone overreacting to negative feedback? Every successful person you see today has never been perfect…he or she has learnt from the best and also taken negative comments about their work on their chin, course corrected and moved on to achieve more.

Negative feedback must be responded to in a positive manner.

Before delving into response strategies, it's crucial to understand that feedback, even when negative, is not inherently bad. Feedback is information about our performance, behavior, or output, provided by others who have observed or experienced our actions. The intent behind most feedback is to help improve future performance. Recognizing this can shift our perspective from viewing feedback as criticism to seeing it as an opportunity for growth.

The Initial Response: Managing Emotions

The first and often most challenging step in responding to negative feedback is managing our immediate emotional reaction. It's natural to feel defensive, hurt, or even angry when receiving criticism. However, allowing these emotions to dictate our response can lead to unproductive outcomes.

1. Take a pause: Before responding, take a deep breath and allow yourself a moment to process the information. This pause can prevent impulsive reactions and give you time to gather your thoughts.
2. Practice mindfulness: Be aware of your emotional state without judgment. Acknowledge your feelings but try not to let them overwhelm you.
3. Reframe the situation: Instead of viewing the feedback as an attack, try to see it as an opportunity to learn and improve. This cognitive reframing can help reduce stress and anxiety associated with negative feedback.

Active Listening: Understanding the Feedback

Once you've managed your initial emotional response, the next step is to truly understand the feedback being given. This requires active listening skills and a genuine openness to the other person's perspective.

1. Give full attention: Focus entirely on what the other person is saying, rather than formulating your response while they're speaking.
2. Ask clarifying questions: If any part of the feedback is unclear, ask for specific examples or more detailed explanations. This shows that you're engaged and committed to understanding.
3. Summarize and reflect: After the person has finished speaking, summarize the main points of their feedback to ensure you've understood correctly. This also gives them an opportunity to clarify any misunderstandings.

Responding Constructively

After listening and understanding the feedback, it's time to respond. A constructive response acknowledges the feedback, demonstrates your understanding, and shows a willingness to improve.

1. Express appreciation: Thank the person for taking the time to provide feedback. This can be challenging, especially if the feedback was delivered poorly, but it sets a positive tone for the conversation.
2. Acknowledge valid points: If you agree with aspects of the feedback, say so. This shows that you're open to criticism and capable of self-reflection.
3. Provide context if necessary: If you feel that certain circumstances or information weren't considered in the feedback, explain these calmly and objectively. Be careful not to come across as making excuses.
4. Avoid defensiveness: Resist the urge to immediately defend yourself or counterattack. Even if you disagree with the feedback, responding defensively will likely escalate the situation and close off productive dialogue.

Turning Feedback into Action

The most crucial part of responding to negative feedback is using it to drive positive change. This is where you transform criticism into an opportunity for growth and improvement.

1. Develop an action plan: Based on the feedback, create specific, measurable goals for improvement. This shows that you're taking the feedback seriously and are committed to change.
2. Seek additional input: If appropriate, ask for suggestions on how you might improve or resources that could help you develop in the areas mentioned.
3. Follow up: After some time has passed, follow up with the person who provided the feedback. Share the actions you've taken and ask for their perspective on your progress. This demonstrates your commitment to growth and can help rebuild or strengthen relationships.

Dealing with Unfair or Poorly Delivered Feedback

While most feedback is given with good intentions, there may be times when you receive feedback that feels unfair, is delivered inappropriately, or seems personally motivated. In these situations:

1. Stay calm: Maintain your composure, even if the other person is not. Responding emotionally will likely worsen the situation.
2. Focus on the content, not the delivery: Try to extract any valuable information from the feedback, even if it was poorly communicated.
3. Set boundaries: If the feedback is delivered in a way that feels abusive or inappropriate, it's okay to calmly state that you're open to feedback but not in its current form. Suggest revisiting the conversation when emotions have cooled.
4. Seek a different perspective: If you're unsure about the validity of the feedback, consider discussing it with a trusted mentor or colleague to get their view.

Cultivating a Growth Mindset

Developing a growth mindset can significantly impact how we receive and respond to negative feedback. This mindset, coined by psychologist Carol Dweck, is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort, learning, and persistence.

With a growth mindset:

• Challenges are seen as opportunities to learn and grow
• Effort is the path to mastery
• Criticism and negative feedback are sources of information, not personal attacks
• The success of others is inspiring, not threatening

By cultivating this mindset, we can become more resilient in the face of negative feedback and more likely to use it as a catalyst for personal and professional development.

Conclusion

Responding effectively to negative feedback is a skill that can be developed over time. It requires emotional intelligence, active listening, and a commitment to personal growth. By managing our initial emotional reactions, truly listening to understand the feedback, responding constructively, and taking action to improve, we can transform negative feedback from a painful experience into a powerful tool for development.

Remember that receiving negative feedback doesn't define you; how you respond to it does. With practice and the right mindset, you can learn to welcome feedback of all kinds as an invaluable resource for continuous improvement and success in both your personal and professional life