Embody Success: Reframe Negative Experiences to Your Advantage

If you make the decision to see them this way, negative experiences help you clarify what you would rather experience.

There’s no avoiding negative experiences but you can embody success by reframing how you experience them.?

People who see themselves as successful don’t let negative experiences get them down – at least not for long.? Some successful people have learned to be unphased by negative experiences.? How awesome is that?!

Here’s how you get there.?

1. When you decide that you’d rather have a different experience, you put your attention and focus on how to create that new and improved experience.?
2. Get specific about how you would rather that situation be.?
3. Put mental effort into visualizing in your imagination the new and improved experience.?
4. Write in your success journal words that describe what you are envisioning.?
5. Spend the time every day to think about your vision of the new and improved experience.?
6. Read the words you wrote describing your vision.
7. Follow your intuition or inner guidance on what the next best step to take in the direct of your improved experience.
8. Take that inspired step.
9. Repeat 5-8 until the vision is reality.

In my 49 years, I’ve had plenty of negative experiences.? I can honestly look back at each of them now and be grateful for them, even the experiences where I know I was to blame.? Each negative experience, I’ve reframed in my mind as a way of knowing myself better.? I believe firmly that really knowing myself and my preferences, I get the following benefits: I create more success because I make better decisions for myself and I approach negative situations outside of my control with calmness and clarity.

In 1996, I was in my last year of my Bachelor’s degree program. I was student teaching and realized that I did not like it at all.? I knew that I would be miserable if I became a high school teacher. ?There were many things that I didn’t like but the big one was that I didn’t like presenting all day.? I felt utterly drained.? I had a vision of what I would prefer doing.? I wanted to be an academic advisor and work one on one with college students to help them move through their programs.? I knew that I had the skill for it.?? I knew that I liked working one on one with students from my experience being a math tutor.?

I dropped out of my student teaching and replaced the credits with an independent study in which I was a peer academic advisor – doing the very thing that I wanted to do.? And, by following my inner guidance, I set up an informational interview with the Director of Advising at a local community college.? The conversation went so well that he offered me a job as an academic advisor at the end of the conversation.? I’m truly grateful that I realized that the negative experience I had with student teaching didn’t have to be my reality and that I followed my intuition to figure out a career that I could truly enjoy.?

It's important that you keep your focus and attention on what you want and not on the memory or current reality of what you don’t want.?

When you find yourself replaying the negative memory or reacting in the moment to the current negative situation, shift your mental focus to the new, improved vision of the situation.

When my boys were little (2010), their dad courageously confronted me and told me a hard truth.? He told me that I overreact all the time to the boys.? I immediately retorted: “No, I don’t”.? I quickly realized after paying more attention to my reactions to the boys that he was right.? I’m so grateful that he confronted me.? It wasn’t a pleasant experience to be told that, but I was able to use that to self-reflect and to clarify to myself the kind of mother that I would rather be.? I certainly didn’t want to be a mom who overreacts and is always frustrated.? Yikes!? I took the time to journal about what kind of mom I really wanted to be.? I used the list of qualities and characteristics to center myself each morning – to remind myself of who I really wanted to be.? I knew that the vision that I had of the new me would make me happier and it would support my children in a much more positive and effective way.?

I didn’t beat myself up when I slipped up.? Because I referenced my positive vision in my journal every morning, I was able to catch myself right away and re-direct my responses and reactions to my children.?

I began to embody that list of qualities and characteristics because I kept my focus on what I really wanted.? I and my children have reaped the rewards of my taking that negative experience and using it to clarify what I wanted instead.? It’s hard to describe how wonderful my relationships with each of my boys are.

My last point is to encourage you to not spend much time trying to figure out what caused the negative experience.?

In my last example, I’m sure that I did try to figure out why I was overreacting but there’s not a lot of value in that time spent.? The better investment in time is to focus on the path and solutions to a better, improved experience by writing out your vision of that in your success journal and reading it daily to keep the vision clear and crisp in your imagination.

I've designed a VIP Embody Success workshop for you to learn the tools to experience increased success in all areas of your life.

My goal for this workshop is for you to feel that this is the most powerful, life changing workshop you've ever been to.

See when the next workshop is by clicking on my Eventbrite page: Elissa Watson Workshops and Coaching Events - 1 Upcoming Activities and Tickets | Eventbrite

To Your Success!!!

Elissa Watson

Email: [email protected]

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