Embarrassed or Entitled?

I have always wondered about the dynamics within a person's decision making, and how it applies to the "face" they portray to the world. In a world that is all about our social media profile, business or personal branding, and what other's think - to say "the pressure is on" is an understatement. I suppose that is why I am so passionate about the field of self care and what it brings to the table of our day to day lives. Alleviating the pressure of sticking with our 'image' is truly essential to our survival and sanity in an Instagram idolizing society. But it must be done in a healthy way, in moderation! Jumping on the healthy train obsessively until we cancel out other areas of our life, or jumping off the wagon into fast-food oblivion are not encouraged. But no matter our lifestyle choice, should we feel embarrassed if we waiver from the picture we have 'put out there' for our friends, family, and the world to see?

I am someone who focuses on self-care in almost every area of my life. Most of the areas of my life include the education of others on addressing their mental, emotional, cognitive, physical, spiritual, and social well being. I often think what other's might think when I make poor choices in my own self care regimen. I ask myself, is it appropriate to feel entitled for a little wiggle room or should I be beyond embarrassed and join the witness protection program when I have some leeway in the things I know are harmful for me. I mean, what's the right answer when it comes to a fattening and fried goodness for the purpose of emotional coping on occasion? Is is acceptable to have had a long day and get both a soda with dinner and large, sugar-filled fancy coffee for dessert if I KNOW, logically, it leads to a crash and will not even come close to what a few glasses of water and roasted veggies will do for my happy-measure in my brain.

I truly believe the pressure to maintain an image, or the guilt that comes with portraying one life and living another, are both simultaneously damaging to our psyche. Choosing to find balance and moderation in our lives can bring more fulfillment than a strict, flawless performance in a virtual and tangible life. After all, don't we relate to people who are more like us anyway? (Yes, that means quirky and imperfect, unique and unable to be duplicated.) The pressures that our filter-framed world have brought into our culture has created a clear divide between social media presence and the actual reality we live. Many have just chosen to recluse into our phones or virtual reality of choice and not actively participate with the world (and other humans) around us.

How do I know this? It is clear if we take a look at our dwindling in-person communication skills, participation in community activities, extremely unhealthy relationship trends, and inability to cope with life stressors in healthy and resilient ways. How do I know that we are feeling a sense of entitlement with attitude or embarrassment with shame and guilt-filled emotions regarding our life choices? Because we isolate, we are defensive in our presentation, and we typically create a blaming or victim mentality. There is a clear behavior change after "an event" of indiscretion that we chose to partake in against our portrayed lifestyle system.

So now what? What do we do? Do we stay in our shamed or aggressive state of extremes? Should we feel embarrassed or entitled to jump overboard at any given flux in our emotional state? Absolutely not! I suggest starting a season of self reflection. This is a healthy and fairly neutral place to start.

Did you realize that you were concerned about the "face" you've put into virtual reality transitioning into the real relationships you are forging in tangible places? How do you handle accountability? Constructive feedback? Change? Are you a person that is interested in creating a healthier you? Have you checked the loop of your internal self talk at various points in your day and week? What have you been telling yourself in times of rest and times of self feedback?

After a few good sessions of self reflection in a journal, out loud with a spouse or close friend, and then with an accountability partner or mentor - weigh the feedback. Weigh with a grain of salt because each angle comes with a bias. You want to establish the closest objectivity you can in order to take a step closer to healthy moderation. The next step is allow healthy boundaries of wiggle room with your decision making to become part of your norm. Develop a clear understanding, with yourself, that it is okay to stray from perfection. It is actually healthier, if it is done with moderation and clear intentions. Build the wiggle room into your self care regimen, rather than a way to escape, emotionally cope, or fulfill an impulse idea. When we choose what we are doing intentionally and integrate it into our over goals, we seem to find less embarrassment, entitlement, and defensiveness in our head and heart and begin to see much more gratification when we feel relieved to be headed in an intended direction.