Email 2.10 - The Courage To Change

? Judith B?hlert , Chris Miles , DIANE WOODFORD , and Matthew Dowling , thank you very much for getting back to me after the previous newsletter! You're helping me to understand who exactly I'm writing for and do it better! ??

For others - talk to me, help me help you ??

In Today's Issue

• Stages community members go through.
• Why do you have to constantly hone your offer.
• Am I a bad friend?

Let's Talk

I was growing with no father, and my grandfather was the main male character in my life.

He was a person of a generation where it was embarrassing to change your mind, and if you said (or even thought) you would do something one way, you had to do it exactly that way, no matter what.

Definitely, I was led by his example, and I felt so ashamed when I did something that was not the way I said I would do or even planned, even though I got good results.

It was only much later in life that I learned that it's okay to change your decision when you have updated information.

And I like this approach! I want to be flexible, and I hope you do, too! ??

So let's talk about it!

Community ROI

Three years ago, I felt really bad when some of the active members of the communities I built went less and less active and finally vanished.

Before I talked to them, I thought it was my fault and that I had done something wrong.

But in reality, their priorities shifted (it's not me, it's them ??).

According to Richard Millington , there are five stages for online community:

Inception, Establishment, Maturity, Saturation, and Mitosis (read all about it here)

and, in some cases, after Mitosis goes Death.

But it's not just community stages, your community members are also going through some cycles:

• first, they find a community and are excited to get to know more about it
• second, they find some resources, meet some people, and start to understand what amount of time they want to spend there
• third, they benefit from resources and connections and start sharing community with others
• fourth, they become advocates, and while not having a ton of value, they still help other members
• fifth, a community feels like home and a good old friend they can always come back to; still they check some other things and meet new people
• and sometimes, their life priorities change, and people leave a community.

Members may go through each stage step-by-step or skip some stages, but the main thing is that they are not always the same! Their needs and behavior are changing!

And different behavior means different ROI:

• when people just joined and are excited, it's the best time to ask them about where they are now in their journey and what their expectations are so that you can measure community impact later on
• when they're getting to know your product and talking to other users, you can ask them about how clear things are so you can improve your UI and UX
• after they receive the first results, they are already connected to your product and ready to purchase (if they used a free version) or use additional features, so here's exactly when your sales might grow
• when they become advocates, they help you with marketing and customer support because you get a ton of word of mouth, and senior members help less experienced members deal with their challenges.

Also, you have to clearly understand when to ask what (by try and trial), and even if their life priorities change, it's totally okay to let people go instead of trying to ride a dead horse ??

Mastering Freelancing

The more I talk to freelancers, the more I hear how important it is to make a great offer.

But it doesn't happen overnight.

I hope you've already met Alex Hormozi and know that your offer has to be so good that people feel stupid to say "no".

But, most likely, in the beginning, they will say "no" many times, and with every new "no," you may be more and more discouraged.

However, every "no" is an opportunity to improve your offer.

To do that, you need adaptability skills, which are the ability to adjust to changes in the environment.

To train your adaptability skills, you have to talk-talk-talk to your old, current, and potential customers and other freelancers. The more you talk to them, the better you'll understand what they need and how you can help them.

And the faster you can adapt, the better and more clients you'll have ??

If you struggle too much with your current offer, ask yourself:

"Is it something I want to do for the rest of my career?"

If not, remember, it's totally okay to pivot!

Human Connections

Making many friends in school and university wasn't easy for me.

Usually, during each stage of my life, I had one or two people with whom we hung out all the time.

I've changed three schools, and there were always different people. But it was okayish because those schools were in different parts of the city, and as a kid it's rather hard to commute to meet, so I could justify that.

The same was true with the university.

But the same thing continued later on.

There are many people from the community space whom I can call my friends and vice versa, but I noticed that the pattern of our conversations looks like a standard normal distribution ??

And at some point, I thought that I was a bad friend...

Maybe I didn't ask too many questions, send too many personal messages, give needed support, or, as Elvis sang, treat them quite as good as I should have ??

But then I understood that we've just gone our separate ways.

Not in a way that we'll never be friends and talk again, but we can definitely cross paths again in the future and continue our friendship almost from the moment we pause it.

Still, at the moment, something has changed, and it's okay.

But one thing I always do, no matter what is that the moment one of my friends comes to my mind - it can be triggered totally randomly - I send a personal message right away telling them about it.

I really do not expect them to answer or have a long conversation, but it just makes me happy to do it, and I hope they feel the same way ??

Curiosity Corner

"Memory is the way an event from the past influences us in the present."

Excerpt from "The Whole-Brain Child" by Daniel Siegel

Upcoming Events

• Between Two Watercoolers Meeting 121 on Friday, August 16th @ 10 am PT (7 pm CET) - to meet new and old friends from the community world

Valuable Materials

• Community Life with Morgan Rice (Video and Audio) - to get to know Morgan and her cheese story ????
• Why Do You Need Facilitation Skills As A Freelancer (Video and Audio) - Freelance Thrive conversation with Nathy Ravez
• How To Leverage Your Network For Referring You Jobs (Video and Audio) - Freelance Sucks conversation with Judith B?hlert
• 2024 CMX Community Industry Trends Report

In upcoming newsletters, I'll share even more tips and tricks I learned from multiple conversations with experienced community builders and freelancers, so stay tuned ??

P.S. I help build communities for startups and fast-growing companies that want to foster trusted customer relationships and grow together!

If it sounds your way, message me, and let's make it happen! ????