Eluding the Claw

Editorial note: Opinions expressed here are solely those of the author

I’ve worked in marketing all of my professional life. When it comes to the development of a strategy or plan, I know how the sausage gets made, so to speak. But that doesn’t stop me from geeking out over what I observe as impressive executions. Take the buzz (sorry; I just had to get it out of my system) around White Claw? Hard Seltzer.

I’m not exactly sure why or how White Claw got on my radar, which makes it all the more fascinating. Perhaps I saw ads for it; maybe I didn’t. But what really drove things home was this past September when I saw the following Tweet by singer/songwriter Jason Isbell: "So many great things about sobriety like I don't have to care if there's a white claw shortage."

Somehow, in the midst of all this, our son and daughter, aged 15 and 12, respectively, also learned of White Claw and started mentioning it to my wife Wendy and me, suggesting we try it. I saw the connection, and it was a little scary. Our kids drank flavored bubbly water like LaCroix and bubly. So naturally they saw, at least theoretically, the appeal of White Claw.

But I, however, wasn’t quite sold. I enjoy beer – mostly pale ales, and gin or vodka and tonics. That’s about it. I’m open-minded about what I drink within those categories but don’t invest much time or effort in learning more. And I just couldn’t envision a scenario where I’d give White Claw a try.

Last night, our family attended a cousin’s wedding. I took the kids to the bar so they could get sodas while I ordered Wendy and myself a vodka and gin and tonic, respectively. We all noticed the bar featured Black Cherry flavored White Claw and the kids seized on the opportunity to pitch me. “Dad,” they said in unison. “You should totally give it a try.”

Now, you parents reading this will know that everyone has their role to play in the family. I’m the one without any qualms when it comes to food and beverages, the “Hey, Dad, can you taste this and tell me if it’s safe to eat?” guy. So it was no surprise I became the vessel of our kids’ curiosity around White Claw. Maybe after my first drink, I told them.

Eventually I had my White Claw and it tasted exactly like I expected. Sweet and artificial. And the square Dad in me immediately found myself concerned for those who might drink a few and not really notice the alcohol content. Until they do.

What did I think? What did I think? our kids asked me. I gave them my patented shrug which they knew marked the beginning and end of my experimentation with White Claw.

A few minutes later, I was talking to a member of our extended family in his early thirties. He saw the can of White Claw in my hand and asked me what I thought of it. Not much, I told him. “Yeah, the Black Cherry flavor isn’t very good,” he said. But then he paused, gave me a knowing smile and said “But you really should give the Grapefruit flavor a try.”