Elouise's Story

I was six years old when sadly my brother passed away. I’d wanted a brother all the way through my mum’s pregnancy and I got one for ten months and a lifetime. As a six-year-old who had just lost her brother you can imagine it was a struggle. No one else who I knew of had lost a loved one so early into their life, and if they had I wasn’t at an age where you would talk about it to your friends. I had counselling sessions for a few weeks and they helped however, my mum felt I needed something more.

I attended one of Nelson’s Journey’s residential weekends, and I can’t imagine a better experience to help a child deal with grief. It was nice to know others my age and older were all dealing with grief too and to know that you are not the only one going through a loss really helped me deal with my grief. I distinctly remember sitting around in a circle having all lit a candle for our loved ones while telling each other who we had lit our candle for. In that circle there was plenty of tears however, the rest of the weekend was filled with joy, activities and advice to help deal with grief.

When I arrived I got to decorate a cardboard box to store all of the things we made at the weekend to help deal with grief. I still have that box now (it’s currently in the loft while I’m at university) but when I was younger whenever I was feeling sad, or just wanted to remember the weekend I would open it up and go through it, remembering what a good time I had.

One of the clearest memories was the bonfire, where one of the leaders of my group played guitar and my friend (who I had met whilst attending) and I lead a singalong to James Blunt’s Your Beautiful. A day later my friend and I would be singing that in front of our parents at the final ceremony.

These are just a few of the memories of the weekend but ever since Nelson’s Journey has held a special place in my heart. I continue to use some of the techniques Nelson’s Journey taught me today and enjoy the fact that I can now pass on my advice to friends who may be going through grief themselves only now. Although I attended the residential weekend when I was younger dealing with emotions and helping to understand why I may be feeling a certain way and allowing myself time to deal with my grief has really helped me grow into the person I am today. I know that on two days of the year especially I may still struggle and he may be on my mind more than other days but I allow myself that time because even now it is still needed. I definitely learnt that its not something that you will ‘get over’ and it will always be a part of you. Looking back, Nelson’s Journey helped me realise that you will learn to live with the loss, you will continue to grow and those you lose will always remain in your heart.

Now I am twenty-one years old, in the final year of studying my Business and Management degree. I have a healthy, happy and funny younger sister who I wouldn’t be without and had my loss not happened I may not have. Even still when the sun is out and it’s a beautiful day I’ll look up to the sky and say “hello, little man”.