Eliminate Head Trash to Transform Your Behavior, Attitude, and Technique

Several years ago, during a Sandler Foundations class, I doodled this simple diagram that captured the essence of changing potential "head trash." While cleaning out my garage recently, I stumbled upon this old notebook and rediscovered some nuggets of truth from my instructor.

It reminded me how critical it is to challenge and change outdated beliefs to unlock new potential. Changing your BAT—Behaviors, Attitude, and Technique—depends heavily on eliminating the head trash that holds you back from achieving success. Using Sandler’s Transactional Awareness, which helps differentiate between the Parent Ego and the Adult Ego, we can shift our mindset and operate from a place of rational thought and empowerment rather than outdated, limiting beliefs. By sharing my experience and understanding of these Sandler techniques, I hope to provide valuable insights that can help others overcome their own limiting beliefs and achieve greater success.

Changing Your BAT: Behaviors, Attitude, and Technique

Your behaviors, attitude, and technique (BAT) form the foundation of your actions and results, both in life and in sales. When head trash, such as "I can't do that" or "I'm not capable of making this work," dominates your mindset, it negatively influences each of these areas.

1. Behavior: If you believe you're incapable or destined to fail, this head trash causes hesitation, procrastination, or avoidance. For instance, you might avoid reaching out to high-value prospects because you think you'll fail. Addressing head trash by challenging these limiting beliefs allows you to take more proactive, confident actions. Changing your belief system can lead to more consistent, productive behaviors that align with your goals.
2. Attitude: Head trash directly affects your attitude. Negative beliefs lead to a pessimistic outlook, which not only impacts your emotional state but also how others perceive you. A poor attitude can be contagious, affecting your team, clients, and overall success. By shifting to the Adult Ego state, you can replace negative attitudes with positive ones rooted in facts and self-confidence, allowing you to approach challenges with optimism and resilience.
3. Technique: Your technique in sales—or any other area—suffers if your mindset is clouded by head trash. When you're doubtful or lack confidence, your execution falters. Eliminating these doubts enables you to hone your skills and improve your techniques with clarity, precision, and effectiveness. Your interactions become more genuine and impactful when they aren't overshadowed by insecurity or self-doubt.

Changing Your Head Trash: Shifting from Parent Ego to Adult Ego

In personal development and professional growth, we often hear about the importance of managing "head trash." Head trash refers to the negative beliefs, feelings, and patterns of behavior that limit our potential and impact our results. To break free from this cycle, it’s crucial to transition from operating in a Parent-Ego?state to an?Adult-Ego state. The diagram above helps illustrate this shift.

Understanding the Parent Ego

The Parent Ego is a concept from Transactional Analysis, a psychological framework. This ego state carries the voices of authority figures from our past—such as parents, teachers, and societal expectations—that shape how we respond to situations today. While it can offer structure, it often creates limiting beliefs that we carry into adulthood. These beliefs dictate our feelings and behaviors, even if they are no longer relevant or beneficial.

For example, if you were told as a child, "You’re not good enough," that belief can resurface in moments of doubt, undermining your confidence and leading to behaviors aligned with those negative feelings—inaction, avoidance, or self-sabotage.

The Cycle of Head Trash

The diagram shows how head trash originates with limiting beliefs ingrained in the Parent Ego. These beliefs trigger negative feelings—like fear, guilt, or anxiety—which influence your behaviors. These behaviors, in turn, produce results that often reinforce the original belief, creating a vicious cycle.

The Cycle in Action:

• Belief: "I’m not capable of closing big deals."
• Feelings: Insecurity, fear, anxiety.
• Behavior: Avoiding challenging opportunities or procrastinating.
• Result: Missing out on significant opportunities, which reinforces the belief of inadequacy.

Transitioning to the Adult Ego

Breaking this cycle requires a shift from the Parent Ego to the Adult Ego. The Adult Ego functions now, relying on current data and rational thought instead of outdated emotional baggage or learned responses. It focuses on facts, productive actions, and a clear mindset.

The second part of the diagram shows how changing your beliefs—eliminating head trash and replacing it with constructive, empowering thoughts—affects the entire cycle. New beliefs produce new, healthier feelings, which lead to more positive behaviors and, ultimately, better results.

The Adult Ego Cycle:

• New Belief: "I can learn and succeed in high-stakes situations."
• New Feelings: Confidence, curiosity, readiness.
• New Behavior: Pursuing bigger opportunities and preparing more effectively.
• New Result: Successfully closing larger deals, which reinforces your newfound belief.

Practical Steps to Change Your BAT by Addressing Head Trash

1. Identify the Head Trash: Start by recognizing the limiting beliefs rooted in the Parent Ego. What are the recurring thoughts that hold you back? Write them down and reflect on their origins.
2. Challenge the Belief: Once identified, challenge the belief. Ask yourself, "Is this belief based on facts or feelings from the past?" Use your Adult Ego to evaluate whether the belief still serves you objectively.
3. Adopt a New Belief: Replace the old belief with one grounded in present-day facts. Instead of thinking, "I’m not good enough," adopt the belief, "I have the skills and capacity to improve and succeed."
4. Act on the New Belief: Your actions must align with your new mindset. If you believe you are capable, take steps that reflect that confidence and capability. For instance, if you once avoided big opportunities, now seek them out and prepare for success.
5. Review the Results: Finally, measure the results of acting from the Adult Ego. More often than not, you’ll find that these new behaviors lead to better outcomes, reinforcing your new belief and creating a positive feedback loop.

Conclusion

Changing your head trash is about moving from outdated, negative beliefs held in the Parent Ego to empowering beliefs supported by the Adult Ego. This shift can break the cycle of self-limiting behaviors, helping you achieve desired results. As the diagram illustrates, new beliefs lead to new behaviors, which produce new results.

By operating from the Adult Ego, you can focus on facts, face challenges with a growth mindset, and take action that drives you forward. This shift is essential to personal and professional growth, paving the way for success.