Elevating Expectations to Transform Beyond Limitations

"The only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow are the buts you use today." ~ Les Brown

From the desk of Lesley Benson

We live in a world where we are both silently and loudly bombarded with messages on how to live our lives. Whether it be from advertising of products that companies wish us to buy, friends, family and colleagues giving their opinions on their perceptions of how they believe we should behave, what that inner critique is telling us all the time.? The noise is often so loud we forget that we have choices and the ability to discern for ourselves which direction we wish to take in life.

Too often, we listen to the naysayers who advise:

• “What you are looking to achieve is impossible"
• “What if you fail?”
• “How are you going to raise the capital to start a new business”
• “Can you afford it?”
• "Have you the qualifications to do that?”
• “What gives you the idea that you can do it?’

And the opinions keep on coming till you quietly slide back into what you have always done going along with the everyday commitments, doing the biding of others dreaming of the life you want but never taking the action to achieve it.

But where are you in this equation?

What about your hopes, wishes and desires??

Elevating expectations to transform beyond limitations is about challenging yourself to aim higher, to push past self-imposed and societal boundaries that may be holding you back.

This week's Beyond Limitations newsletter is all about assisting you to find you in the equation so you can elevate your expectations and transform beyond all your limitations (self-imposed or not).

Is now the time for you to elevate?

Lesley

What are expectations?

Expectations are mental projections or anticipations of what one believes will or should happen in the future.? They are formed based upon a variety of factors, including past experiences, societal norms, personal values, beliefs and communication from others that can impact a wide range of areas of life, including relationships, work, family, education and personal goals.

Expectations can be explicit or implicit, conscious or unconscious.

Some expectations may be highly realistic and attainable, whilst others may be idealistic or unrealistic. Yet who gets to choose? Living in the realm of you allowing others’ expectations to get to choose the direction of your life can lead to disappointment, frustration or conflict when they are not met.

Managing expectations involves being aware of communicating and adjusting your own expectations as well as understanding and addressing the expectations of others. Effective communication, setting realistic goals and maintaining flexibility are key components of managing expectations successfully.

As human beings we all have aspirations of how we can strive to live our lives, having the courage to do so is where we can get bogged down with the realities of everyday living.? Throughout history in stories, mythology and folklore are scattered with examples of how-to breakout and live how you want to.

Making change isn’t a one moment event. It is a culmination of a set of circumstances that have pushed you to have realisations that where you are presently in life is not what you expect for your life.

Tara from the outside appeared to have it all. A great job that provided well financially for her and her family. From an outsiders' perspective they lived a fabulous life, exotic vacations, a beautiful home, children who had achieved great academic results that were allowing them to pursue their own career goals, parents that despite their advancing ages seemed to still be in good health.

Yet, inside Tara was quietly shrivelling up. Her husband and her had been living separate lives for many years, the toll of rising up the corporate ladder had led to them being ships that passed at the coffee maker as they grabbed a cup on the way out the door in the morning. The exotic vacations which could have been opportunities to decompress and reconnect away from their hectic careers, had become a breeding ground of contempt and put downs and they only continued to have them to “keep up appearances”.

Tara was struggling to hold all the balls in the air.

The weight of expectation on her shoulders had led her to lose what was really important to her. Her day of reckoning came when a seemingly uneventful check – up at her doctor for her annual health MOT (Measurements, Observations and Tests), informed her that her body was starting to give signals that unless she made changes then her body was going to do it for her.

At first Tara was in denial, after all she was listening to all the people around her, telling her how wonderful her life was. She was admired at work for her capabilities and she was busy with many activities throughout the week.

However, a few weeks after receiving the news that she needed to make changes for her health but not having heeded the warning, her boss informed her that she was required to attend a workshop training on goal setting and mindset mastery.

Listening to the speakers share their stories of overcoming obstacles and achieving extraordinary success in changing the circumstances of their life something inside Tara shifted.? Tara realised that the goals she had been pursuing were not the ones she wanted any longer for herself. Her life aspirations had changed and the things that filled her days were partly due to having followed this trajectory for some time but that she was doing this to live up to other peoples’ expectations of what her life aspirations should be.

• Her parents expected her to aspire to a particular level of education when she was younger.
• Her husband expected her to assist him in maintaining a particular standard of living.
• Her own expectations were about being a provider for the family.

Tara realised that she had allowed her to get lost in these three expectations that no longer fit where she was in life now.

She realised that a re-evaluation of her life goals was needed and conversations with her family were also needed to find common ground again.

In trying to meet all the expectations of her family, Tara had lost herself. She hadn’t realised the pressure she was putting on herself to be everything for everyone else and that she had no personal expectations for herself.

Does this sound familiar?

Throughout all our lives there will be times that we are required to have goals that serve more than ourselves, yet it doesn’t mean we need to lose ourselves during those times.

Why is that that so often we need to reach the point where we are forced due to health concerns, family breakdown, loss of a family member or career challenges before we reassess our lives?

We can of course, STOP and REASSESS at any time. Ideally on a monthly basis.

Our Elevating Your Expectations Pathway

Let's look at seven steps that you can take today, that will assist you to elevate your expectations and create a life that you have been desiring for way too long.

Step 1: Where are you now?

Before you begin redesigning your life it is always best to understand where you are now, in all areas of your life. This will assist you to clearly see the choices and actions (or non-actions), that have led you?to here.

Then, you will be able to create a list of practices that will assist you to:

• Stop doing what no longer serves you
• Start doing what will serve you
• Continue doing what serves you

Consider your wheel as a source of feedback that will allow you to easily see the areas that require more attention. Imagine the completed wellness wheel?as a?tyre on your car. How far would you travel with that unbalanced tyre?

To assist you to have a clear picture, Karen has created the "Where are you now?" questionnaire. Click here to access the questionnaire.

Step 2: Embrace the #1 Regret of the Dying

Realise that everyone has some form of expectation of another. Questioning whether it is beneficial to conform to the expectation is key to discovering whether you are living a life that is true to you or you are a player in someone else’s.

Step 3. Create your Future Vision (in all areas of your life)

Create a vision for what you want your life to look like. You can physically do this with a vision board, write down your dream’s goals for your life.

Assess and ask yourself whether how you are living now fits with what you have created or written down?

Step 4. Seek out mentors who have walked a similar path

Find ideas from people who you feel have taken steps to build a life based upon fulfilling their own expectations. This maybe reading biographies, hearing speakers tell their own personal journey or seeking mentors who walk their talk and are living in all areas of their life.

Step 5. Create your Goals

Create your vision and personal goals. Then set targets to achieve them. Allow yourself to take action and view any obstacles and challenges as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and what is important to you. The greater the understanding you have of yourself the more you can stay true to your own expectations and self- worth.

Step 6. Find a Supportive Network

Create a supportive environment around you where you feel safe to explore your potential, to connect with like-minded individuals and gain new perspectives on what is possible.

Step 7. Encourage Open Communication

This may seem scary at first but communicating your own personal needs leads to fulfilling and meaningful relationships that are based on honesty and authenticity.

In conclusion

Tara’s journey started with engaging a mentor who allowed her to look at where she was now and how she had become a shadow of herself. The mentor realised that Tara was still inside her but she needed to find an opportunity to express herself again.

Tara realised by trying to be everything for everyone else not only was she unhappy but it was fuelling unhappiness in those around her. It led her to face herself and ask those tough questions of herself that she had hidden behind being a willing participant in angry exchanges with those closest to her.

Whilst it wasn’t an overnight change, Tara recognised that by being willing to acknowledge that she had been compliant in the situation she found herself in, she learned that by consciously deciding to live a life true to her own expectations, she was now in the most ideal spot, to create more harmonious relationships with those she held dear, which in turn, allowed her to be more loving not only to herself but also her family, friends and colleagues.

Are you willing to take the first step like Tara and ask yourself the question:

“Am I honouring my own expectations for my own life or am I a compliant player in another’s expectations of what life should look like for me?

Who knows where your answers to this question will lead you. Though be assured that when you take the time to honestly answer this question and then take the necessary action steps, you will be led to more fulfilment, honesty, meaning, happiness and loving interactions with yourself and everyone you met.

Are you ready to be honest with yourself?

Go on have a go!

If you decide to have a go, let us know where it leads you.

Until we meet again, always remember that you are Simply The Best!

#TransformBeyondLimits #ElevateExpectations #BeyondLimitationsJourney