Elevate Your Self-Connection by Taking an Open Stance

I appreciate your dedication to personal leadership development and being a member of this community. In our past conversations, I've shared the empowering benefits of adopting an Open Stance to support resilience and enhanced relationships and results. We've explored the process of noticing our reactions when we are closed and the power of Stopping, Stepping back, and Shifting to being open. Taking an Open Stance enables us to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. It's a way of enhancing our connections and amplifying our leadership influence.

At this pivotal moment in our world, where we confront unprecedented uncertainty and change, the Open Stance approach becomes even more crucial. We're witnessing polarization, conflicts, climate change, inequalities, technological disruption, mental health issues, humanitarian crises, and shifts in numerous structures and systems. In such times, leaders who can foster open-minded conversations are essential for paving the way to collaborative solutions. And here's the beauty of it- each of us can be a leader, contributing to understanding and co-creating a better future, irrespective of our formal roles.??

If you have taken my classes, worked with me, or read my books or writings, you know that I have primarily emphasized the power of taking an Open Stance to enhance relationships and thrive amid differences and the uncertainties surrounding us. Emotions are contagious, and by simply being open, curious, compassionate, and kind, we can each inspire richer connections and open-minded conversations. It's a small but powerful way we can contribute to make a difference. Thanks for your commitment to noticing your reactions and shifting to being open.

Connecting with Yourself

Today, I want to share how you can apply the Open Stance process of Stopping, Stepping Back, and Shifting to experience a deeper connection with yourself. For instance, when you notice yourself feeling stressed, you can Stop, Step back, and Shift your focus to your breath or a calming image. This process can help you reconnect with your inner calm and enhance your self-connection.

We can use the Open Stance process and direct it toward ourselves with intention, awareness, and choice.

Intention

Begin by setting your intention to adopt an open mindset. Appreciate the power of noticing what is going well and being nonjudgmental toward yourself. Trust that being open creates a broader perspective and more possibilities. An open mindset allows you to approach challenges with curiosity and learn from them, fostering personal growth and enhancing your leadership influence.

Awareness

Cultivate the habit of turning your attention inward and observing your emotional state. This habit involves noticing how you feel, what thoughts are running through your mind, and how your body reacts. Ask, 'Am I open or closed?' Recognize the tendency to be self-critical and work to develop an understanding of your internal dialogue. So many of us can be hard on ourselves and be our worst critics. Our internal voice can be harsh and unforgiving.

By noting your sensations, emotions, and thoughts, you can discern between a closed state marked by contraction, control, and judgment and an open state characterized by energy, expansiveness, and seeing potential. For example, a closed state might involve feeling tense, trying to control the situation, and judging yourself harshly. In contrast, an open state might include feeling relaxed, being open to different perspectives, and seeing growth opportunities.

We can close in response to external conditions and interactions or react to our internal thoughts and patterns.

Choice

Upon becoming aware of your inner landscape and that you are closed, empower yourself to Stop, Step back, and Shift to being open. Here's how you can do it: Stop- pause for a moment, take a deep breath, and acknowledge your current state. Step back and reflect on the situation and your reactions. Shift- choose to respond thoughtfully rather than reactively. This deliberate choice allows you to navigate situations with intentionality rather than reactivity. Practice curiosity, free from judgment, to explore your feelings and thoughts. Embrace the crucial role of self-compassion, acknowledging that challenges are integral to growth. Taking kind actions and prioritizing self-care pave the way for personal resilience and wellbeing.

You can challenge unhelpful thoughts with empathy and compassion. This involves treating yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would a friend. It's about acknowledging your struggles and being gentle with yourself rather than harsh and critical. Self-compassion and empathy are essential tools for fostering self-growth and wellbeing.

Example

Imagine feeling contracted and overwhelmed by negative self-talk. You may be saying: “I will never complete this project. I have too much to do. I am a loser.” By implementing the Stop, Step back, and Shift approach, you can create space for understanding and empathy and refrain from reacting without awareness. You can be curious about what your thoughts are conveying, offer yourself compassion, and seek the support needed to navigate challenges. You can give yourself empathy, “I know I am tired since I didn't get enough sleep. I am feeling overwhelmed with this project.” You could also use your name when speaking to yourself to create some distance. “I sense you feel alone, Nancy.” Allow a wise part of yourself to give nonjudgmental empathy and compassion. You can ask what is needed. Perhaps you need a break or to call someone to discuss the project or to ask for help. You can recall your strengths and assure yourself that you are not a “loser.” Self-compassion and empathy are essential tools for fostering self-growth and wellbeing.

Through this process, I have become aware of patterns that served me in childhood, such as being overly responsible, taking energy, and being no longer helpful. By stopping and interrupting my pattern of jumping in to solve issues and stepping back, I have created moments to reflect and shift to being open. With curiosity, compassion, and courage, I have let go of my urge to jump in when it does not serve me or others. I am not going to say this process has been easy. However, by giving myself empathy and treating myself like a friend with self-compassion, I am experiencing more joy and aliveness. I ultimately have more energy to be of service.

Invitation

I encourage you to set your intention to embrace an Open Stance toward yourself. Cultivate a practice of noticing if you are open or closed toward yourself. This practice involves observing your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations without judgment. When you notice you are contracting, Stop, Step back, and Shift to being open. Allow yourself to be curious, compassionate, and kind toward yourself and take actions that support your wellbeing and resilience. I trust you will experience more joy and a greater sense of aliveness and possibility. Your joy will be contagious. You will be better able to take an Open Stance with others and be more equipped to create connections and thrive in our current environment.

I look forward to hearing about your experiences as you experiment with taking an Open Stance toward yourself.

With gratitude and an Open Stance,?

Ann Van Eron, Ph.D., MCC

www.Potentials.com

As a global executive coach and organization development consultant with Potentials, I coach leaders, teams, coaches, and changemakers with practical processes and tips to:

• Thrive amid differences and uncertainty with an Open Stance.
• Renew their energy, mindset, and experience of JOYBeing.
• Engage in meaningful and productive conversations to co-create solutions using the OASIS Conversations process.
• Make a difference, create positive change, and achieve their potential.

You are welcome to receive the following:

• Bi-monthly Leadership Tips
• A chapter from Open Stance: Thriving Amid Differences and Uncertainty
• Open Stance guided meditation
• Open Stance Postures infographic