THE ELDER'S EMANCIPATION
THE ELDER'S EMANCIPATION
Elder is a state of being. Being determines not only ‘what’ is known, but more importantly ‘how’ it is known. Consequently, being determines your judgments, assessments, evaluations, decisions, and conclusions, about yourself and about others.??
Being is metaphysical. Meta does not mean larger than. Meta means that which is situated ‘behind’ and ‘beyond.’?Metaphysical, who you’re being, therefore is what’s ‘behind’ and ‘beyond’ your identity, psychology, personality, thoughts, and emotions.?Being is intangible, unquantifiable. Nevertheless, being is superior ordinant, the ultimate determinant of who you are.?
Commonly, what is ‘behind’ turns out to also be what’s ‘beyond.’ Hence, the past becomes the primary basis of your future. But as an elder, what’s ‘behind’ loses its grip, allowing you to shed your past and your concertized identity, so a new future, a new ‘beyond,’ can emerge.
The shift from older to elder occurs in the meta of the metaphysical. The physical doesn’t change.?Same skin, same bones, same neuroses, resentments, and regrets, all are still there. The world is as it was before. But who you are in the world is different. As an elder, being an elder, you are emancipated from the confines of who you have been.?
AN ELDER’S CONTRIBUTIONS
As an elder, you see differently, you think differently, you relate differently, and you respond differently. Differences that deliver greater peace, harmony, and grace, not only for yourself but for those around you.
As an elder, you have a greater capacity to be a non-anxious presence in anxious moments. Triggers that used to set you off, are now just passing phenomena simply being observed. You watch but do not react. You can let it be. Now, as an elder, you can now contribute in a way that reduces the anxiety in the room simply by being that non-anxious presence.
As an elder, you become well aware the end of life is approaching, which gives you a much deeper appreciation for life in the moment. Things once taken for granted are now exalted. Finality sharpens your vision.?Finality opens your heart. An elder brings an appreciation for life and an openheartedness to their interactions which in turn has a profound impact on others.
As an elder, you bring understanding. You listen to others not in judgment but in thoughtfulness and compassion. Elders provide a unique listening where sanctuary and safety exist. As an elder, you know and appreciate that embedded in life are those unavoidable trials, hardships, and suffering. You understand where they are coming from because you have been there yourself.
As an elder, you recognize that people proving that they are right is a driving force that makes others wrong. It reduces harmony and workability. Being right about being right becomes righteousness. Being right never produces a solution or resolution. As an elder, you have the capacity to step in front of righteousness and disarm it.
As an elder, you bring higher wisdom to interactions. Higher wisdom is knowledge-based but is not knowledge.
领英推荐
Higher wisdom is a product of the meta, not the intellect, rational, strategic mind. Higher wisdom contains authentic benevolence in its expression. Higher wisdom brings kindness, magnanimity, and empathy. Higher wisdom hears what’s behind the words and can speak to the ‘behind’ allowing resolution or completion.
As an elder, you have grounded experiences that allow you to see the larger picture. You can see the beginning, the current, and the future of people’s thinking and actions if continued. Hence, as an elder, you can reduce or eliminate negative consequences before they occur.
As an elder, you have opened your spiritual channel.?Somehow, as death and dying are now much more real, you’ve turned your dial to the soul station. Words and expressions that had little penetration now are heard and heeded differently. The Sacred Heart in Catholicism, the Dharma in Buddhism, or the “Elul” in Judaism, is now present. Having a spiritual presence as an elder, although unspoken, is immediately felt by others.
Consequently, as an elder, your very presence alters the context in which interactions occur. And as an elder, you fully understand that context is decisive. Elders are potent context influencers. Bringing heart, soul, compassion, and higher wisdom directly alters the context.
THE ELDER’S WORK
Ultimately, it all happens in conversation. Whether it is in a primary relationship, the board room, the C-Suite, committee meetings, or in the employee lounge.
Having elders as part of any of these conversations can make a profound difference in the outcomes of these conversations. An elder alters the context and conditions in which these conversations occur. An elder directs the conversation away from righteousness and blame, toward consensus and responsibility. An elder affects the words spoken, the tone, and the feelings. An elder instills cooperation and appreciation into the people having these conversations.
How would your communities, your politics, your businesses, and your relationships be altered if elders were invited to join the conversation?
Dr. Marc Cooper
President and Elder
The Contemporary Elder Institute
A Division of MBC Consultant Inc.