The eighth – The Disadvantaged, the Homeless, or All roads leading to Acceptance (or Diversity and Inclusion) would still go through stomach?

Last week was the Special Education Week for children with limitations. I actually did not know about it, until a posting of a friend on his Facebook caught my attention.

“When you have a "normal" child, who meets developmental benchmarks as expected, you are happy. When he or she gets good grades, you're happy. When your child does as he/she is told, you are happy. It is a "normal" joy, because, of course, it is his/her duty.

BUT- when you have a kid with some limitations, with each learning and small success, you pulsate and vibrate as if you had won a championship... I would like to ask you a great favor on an important subject:

It is Special Education week, not only for children with Down syndrome, Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD or ADD, but also for kids/teens with special needs; those who struggle every day to succeed, who battle disorders or learning issues over which they may have no control, and those who help them progress to various achievements and independence.

It would be great to teach our children to be kind and to accept all their classmates. Kids with special needs want what every kid wants: to be accepted! And they suffer greatly when they are rejected or mocked.

May I make a request? Copy and paste this message in honor of all children who are challenged by disorders, medical issues or special learning needs.”

And I thought of my Japanese Okaasan and Syu-chan.

Syu-chan is her only son. He has down syndrome. His mind is physically limited. Though, I feel that sometime he could understand better than what he is supposed to. He can speak in short words. Like, when he says hi to me, he uses word by word - “hi” “han” “chan”, and waves his hand as hello gestures. Sometimes I am surprised that he could still remember my name, even though I could not visit my Okaasan and him often (due to long distance).

Before Syu-chan, I did not have experience of being in a close interaction with disabled persons. It did not mean that there was no disabled persons in Vietnam, in fact, a lot. What I heard was, people was not open back then, so disabled people just stayed at home, because they felt inferior and not being accepted by society. They felt they were a burden. (Of course, it becomes better now...).

Almost two decades ago, I moved to Japan for my studies and met my Okaasan through a cross-cultural exchange program at my university. I still remember the first time we met, she wore a Burberry long skirt, with high turtle neck sweater. I thought she must have been a typical Japanese conservative housewife, who just wanted to do some cross-cultural section to kill her idle time. But she was not.

The more I got to know her, the more I admired how a strong, progressive woman she has become. She was a daughter of a very elite Japanese family. Her father founded the biggest hospital in Osaka back in the days. Looking at her pictures, I could tell she was so beautiful when she was young. She was elegant, studying literature, piano, living a comfortable life.

Regardless all of these background, she did not feel shy about her son’s disability. She quit her job as a math teacher to be able to take care of him full time. She brought him with her to travel across Japan, across Europe. She made her effort to teach him to the third grade, the level that a person with down syndrome like him would hardly be able to do. She tiredlessly brings him to a factory twice a week, where offers people like him to do manual work. She said, every time that Syu-chan can sew a handkerchief, or can grow a small tree, she cries with happy tears.

Of course, Syu-chan does earn some money through his hard work. He likes going to supermarkets, pushing the cart, picking up stuff. Sometimes, he picked too many stuff, and my Okaasan talked to him like explaining, very patiently – “Ooh, we don’t have money to buy all of these. Let’s return them”. Sometimes, he pushed the cart too fast, and my Okaasan had to run after him – “Syu-chan, slowly, you will hit other people. It is not good”.

I don’t think he understood all of those things that my Okaasan said. But one thing I think he knows – he always pushes the cart (empty or not empty) to the cashier section and automatically give them his owned money. He looks like he is proud of doing that.

Fast forward, when I first moved to New York, I did not have many friends. On the Sunday of my second week, I was so bored, lying on bed, surfing internet. A Meetup event popped up – Oh, it’s a volunteer opportunity. Oh, it’s gonna start in 30 minutes. I jumped out of bed, just had enough time to put on my old pair of jeans and a long loose sweater with dark gray color. I chose the dark color because it was to cook soup and serve homeless people at St. Francis Xavier. And I rushed out of my apartment, jumped in a cab from Midtown East to Chelsea.

I was so overwhelmed when entering the basement of the church. So crowded. Full of people. Hmm, I thought - Too many volunteers. Not many homeless people. Who am I gonna serve?!

I was asked to stand at the section of arranging hot bowls of soup, breads and coffee on trays and giving away to people who were starting lining up. To my surprise, those people I thought volunteers were starting lining up. What?!?!

A lady approached me, wearing a vividly blue long dress, a fashionable watch, with her earplugs on, listening some music from her iphone. “No, I don’t like sugar. But I can keep it. Give me another coffee with milk”. “Sure, certainly”. I gave the tray full of food to her. Her dress looked perhaps more expensive than my dark gray old sweater.

The next one was a man, or I should say, a gentleman, wearing a white fine suit. “Sir, would you like coffee with sugar or milk?”. “With sugar. No, no, it is not enough. I want three more sticks of sugar.” He even did not care to look at me. Apparently he was reading something from his newly looking ipad.

So yeah, I guessed the best way to learn about Acceptance is definitely still going through stomach!

Note #1 – One time, my Okaasan wrote to me – You know, I wanted to share with you our recent experience. I and Syu-chan traveled to London last week. We were rejected by one restaurant. They did not allow us to enter and eat at their restaurant.

Note #2 – That was the first time and the last time I served homeless people in New York.