Eight Worldly Winds

I was intrigued by a recent Dan Harris podcast with Ethan Nichtern, a contemporary Buddhist teacher. He recently wrote the book Confidence: Holding Your Seat through Life’s Eight Worldly Winds. It refers to eight fluctuating conditions of life that can disturb our inner peace. The list is built of four pairs of experiences that happen to every human:

·?????? Pleasure and Pain

·?????? Praise and Blame

·?????? Influence and Insignificance (sometimes called fame and disrepute)

·?????? Success and Failure (sometimes called gain and loss)

He uses a visual of the dancing man seen at car dealers for how these winds can cause us to lose form, affect how we show up in the world, and shape our inner sense of peace and confidence. The visual of holding your form against these winds immediately intrigued me. How can we be more like a bouncy castle that experiences the same forces, but projects strength and offers utility regardless?

And the Buddhist ideas align well with the 4 fatal fears I’ve previously shared. In this newsletter, I attempt to resolve his ideas with those to capture the best of both. Let’s explore the best ways to live more confidently and boldly.

Comparing 8 Winds with 4 Fears

While the 8 worldly winds focus on opposing outcomes, the 4 fatal fears focus on avoiding the outcomes most find undesirable. Here’s how they align:

• Pleasure and Pain = The fear of emotional discomfort. It can lead us to avoid situations that might generate criticism, or make us feel uneasy, or to ask for help. ?It results in playing it safe instead of learning from vulnerability.
• Influence and Insignificance = Fear of rejection. The need to be liked and included. It can make us afraid to put ourselves out there or challenge anyone. It results in playing to please rather than working to best serve others.
• Praise and Blame = Fear of being wrong. The need to be correct. It can lead us to avoid challenging ourselves intellectually, speaking up in meetings, or admitting when we are wrong or made a mistake. It results in playing small instead of playing big.
• Success and Failure = Fear of failure. The need to succeed. It can be paralyzing and prevent us from taking risks or trying new things. It results in playing not to lose rather than taking calculated chances.

The 8 worldly winds add the idea that a balanced approach is needed. We can be equally blown off center by either extreme. Too much of a desirable outcome can knock us off center as much as undesirable outcomes. We’ve all seen examples of where “success went to his head” or “head over heels in love” has caused someone (perhaps ourselves) to obsess and ignore other important aspects of our lives.

And needing a desirable outcome can drive irrational, non-beneficial behavior in the same way needing to avoid an undesirable behavior does. We all want more pleasure and success but needing them can lead to unhealthy addictive behaviors. For example, while needing to avoid failure leads to playing not to lose, needing success leads to taking unnecessary risks and crashing out.

Creating Confidence

Start by giving them a name. Be aware of what these winds and fears look and feel like and be diligent to notice when one impacts your decisions and behaviors. Encourage others to help point them out to you.

The 4 fatal fears offer a growth mindset as the primary way to productively move forward despite fear. Name your fear to tame the fear. Then shift to productive assumptions, emotions, and mindsets. With a joyful, growth mindset, be ready to accept that you may not get the outcomes you want, but you do NOT NEED those outcomes. With the right mindset, you learn from facing the fear and gain from the experience. Only not continuing despite the fear makes a negative outcome certain. Read the 5 steps to adopt a growth mindset and overcome fear at the end of A Growth Mindset Wins.

The 8 worldly winds add that we should practice cultivating a sense of equanimity by recognizing that these conditions are impermanent and fluctuating. Anyone living in the world will have the winds brush against us in ways beyond our control. Again, acknowledge and name the wind when it exists. But, instead of being swayed by it, Nichtern advises focusing on developing inner resilience and maintaining a grounded perspective. In recognizing their waiflike nature, we can navigate the ups and downs of life with greater ease and stability, fostering inner peace and well-being. We can show up on a windy day and can work in it knowing it will blow past us.

Specific Approaches

Nichtern offers practices to boost your confidence (or resilience or equanimity) against the 8 winds. These help when responding to each pair:

• Pleasure and Pain:

Pleasure: Enjoy pleasurable experiences without becoming attached or dependent on them. Recognize their transient nature and avoid letting them dictate your happiness.

Pain: Practice mindfulness and compassion towards yourself. Accept pain as part of the human experience and use it as an opportunity for personal growth and empathy.

• Praise and Blame:

Praise: Use praise as feedback but do not let it define your self-esteem. Acknowledge it with gratitude but stay focused on your personal path and values.

Blame: Approach blame with openness and introspection. Consider any valid points and learn from them while not letting blame undermine your self-worth.

• Influence and Insignificance (Fame and Disrepute):

Influence: Remain grounded and aware of the impermanence of recognition. Avoid letting fame inflate your ego or self-worth.

Insignificance: Practice self-compassion and stay true to your values. Use disrepute as a chance to reflect on your actions and maintain your integrity regardless of others' opinions.

• Success and Failure (Gain and Loss):

Success: Practice humility and gratitude. Recognize that material or personal gain is fleeting and does not define your true worth.

Failure: Cultivate acceptance and resilience. Understand that loss is part of life and that it provides an opportunity for growth and deeper understanding.

By acknowledging the true nature of obsessions and fears in our life, we can maintain a balanced and peaceful state of mind, regardless of external fluctuations and continue to take bold action.

When have you not taken bold action due to one of these winds? What was the wind/fear named? In the future, how will you confidently move forward when buffeted by desirable or undesirable winds?

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Stay humble; be bold.