Eight Keys to Open Cross-Cultural Communication

This year I have had the pleasure of working with people from over 30 different countries from five continents (this included many trips as well as a fabulous meeting in London with attendees from Latin America, the Middle East and Asia). Working with people from around the world is one the best parts of my job and communication coaching is the focus of my work. I am often asked for advice on improving cross-cultural communication. Here are eight keys to opening up relationships with people from cultures different than your own.

?1 – Learn some history. To understand where people are now it is very helpful to know where they have been. With so many great “short history of…” books and podcasts out there, not to mention WikiPedia, there is no reason to show up not knowing at least some of the backstory. Understanding the religious context is also hugely helpful. When I am in a different country I like to listen to history podcasts about the country while I am there, leading to niche finds such as The Hong Kong History Podcast which focuses on the shipping history of Hong Kong.

?2 – Listen. One thing we all have in common is the desire to be heard and understood. Simply take time to engage in conversations about the history or culture by asking open ended questions and then let others share their thoughts and experiences. Pay attention to body language, read between the lines and be sensitive in your responses; share your interpretation to see if you listened well. I ask questions such as, "what was it like growing up here?" The answers are always fascinating.

?3 – Share your story. Remember, your culture is just as different to others as theirs is to you, no matter where you are from. Think in terms of cultural exchange, sharing and comparing what is similar and what is different. Things about your culture you find obvious or boring might be fascinating to others.

?4 – Eat local and try new things. Nothing brings people together like eating together. You don’t need to try everything, but you will gain so much by trying at least something you haven’t had before. Ask about etiquette, try to do things as they do, and demonstrate your interest, appreciation and respect. I was recently introduced to Sichuan Style Hot Pot, which was hot in more ways than one, and Family Style Hot Pot, with an amazing array of shellfish! The flat whites in Melbourne really are as good as they claim, even if like me you don't like milk in your coffee! I was given the sweets from India pictured above which I have never seen before, from a country I have never been to, and they are delicious! Which brings me to the next point...

?5 – Give well and receive well. Many cultures place great value on exchanging gifts. These are usually small in cost but high in symbolic value. If you are bringing something, be thoughtful about it, and make sure you choose a good moment to present it. When receiving, pay close attention to what you have been given and express your thanks.

?6 – Challenge your assumptions. Stereotypes are a double-edged sword. On the one hand, they are useful shortcuts to better understand another culture and can be used as guidelines for your behaviour. On the other, they create false impressions that must be dispelled. Getting this balance right requires practice. For example I recently had my assumptions about Chinese employees being reserved thoroughly challenged at an offsite which was off the charts for sheer creativity, energy, humour and fun. Had I gone with the stereotype and played things conservatively I would have missed this opportunity.

?7 – Express your feelings and impressions. As you are going through the experience of being in a different culture let your hosts know what your perceptions are. What are you seeing? What are you hearing? What is surprising? What are you curious about? Don’t be afraid to ask questions, most importantly the dumb ones! Sharing your thoughts will unlock conversations and you will deepen your learning.

?8 – Learn even a few simple words. Those who have heard my pronunciation in other languages will laugh at me saying this, but I do try! The difference between zero effort at the local language and some effort is massive in breaking down barriers. With so many easy ways to learn pronunciation today again there is no excuse to arrive unprepared to say “hello” or “thank you.” Equally, if you are speaking in your native language with someone who speaks it as a second language, gauge by their response if you should be selecting simpler words to express what you mean.

I guess the ninth and most important tip is to be yourself. If you are open and authentic others are more likely to be as well and the exchange can begin. When I reflect on the different people I have met and the conversations we have had, not to mention the amazing meals we have enjoyed together, that there is so much conflict in the world seems tragic and absurd. I do believe the simple act of getting to know people from different cultures makes the world a better place.

What are your tips for opening up cross-cultural communication?

#CrossCulturalCommunication

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