The Eight Heads of the Monster Perfectionism

Is Your Perfectionism Stopping Your Performance Stone Cold?

The story of Medusa is a remarkable and enlightening metaphor for Perfectionism. Originally, Medusa was a beautiful young goddess, the daughter of a sea god, and a formidable and very intimidating mother. While many men pursued her, none of them were ever good enough. Eventually, one of the gods she rejected took his revenge by turning the locks of her hair into snakes. After that, anyone who looked directly at her was turned to stone, frozen up, and couldn’t move.

Medusa was at last cleverly defeated by using the reflection of a shield to see her, to not look at her directly, and then cleverly maneuvered to cut off her head. Even after she was decapitated, anyone who looked at her severed head still turned to stone.

Moral: whether you’re looking directly at your Perfectionist habits or just mindlessly remembering them, they can put you out of play. Remedy: get smart and slay your Perfectionism through more dynamic thinking, reflection, redirection, and actions.

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Perfectionism is An Irrational Perception that Seems Rational

Perfectionism is like the Medusa mythology. When we think about our Perfectionistic behaviors, we automatically tend to reinforce them. Why is that? It's how survival behavior works – recall, reinforce, and become incapacitated. We don't mean to; it just happens.

This is what I notice about my clients who struggle with Perfectionism. When they discuss their Perfectionism, it's like they are locked in a box. They can't see beyond it. It's a reality where there's no escape. Perfectionism and its behaviors are their own world where the irrational is accepted as rational.

That is why reflection and redirection are the best and most unexpected ways out of the highly predictable, black-and-white world of Perfectionism. Like Medusa, look at it head-on, and you're gone. So, there must be a more effective approach to win the day.

Is there a way out of Perfectionism? Yes, totally. It must be gone after on several levels. Just as it took a team to take down Medusa, a multi-strategic approach will bring your Perfectionistic Monster down.

Before addressing this, let's discuss The Eight "Snake Heads" of Perfectionism that must be cut off and discarded.

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The Eight Heads of Perfectionism – Each Like a Poisonous Snake Will Stop You Stone Cold

A Sense of Inadequacy

That inadequacy is felt at the personal and professional levels. It’s the feeling and belief that whatever is going to be required of you, you don’t have. For whatever reason, you don’t have what it takes to do the task before you. That assignment or challenge may be yours to do, but within you, as you see it, you are not the one who can or will get it done.

This is a lack of Belief in Yourself.???????

But if you deal with this and push forward, you come to:

The Belief that You Can’t Do It Well Enough

Since you can’t do it well enough or “good enough’, why start? Right from the beginning, it feels like a fool’s errand. As in, who do I think I am fooling by taking this on? We may feel we are not up to the job, but we’re not crazy. Why put time and effort into something that is not going to be acceptable? It would be a waste of energy and time, and for what? A failure? Another failure? Only a crazy person would take on that endeavor to fail again, right?

This is a lack of Belief in What You Can Do and Accomplish.

But if you deal with this and push forward, you come to:

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Overly Critical of Your Performance

But let's say you start. You give it a try. However, once you begin it, your efforts quickly descend into "this is terrible." It's all terrible. It's not working out. It's not making any sense. You thought it would go smoothly, but it's not. It's just the opposite. If anything, the more you do, the worse it gets, and you see no way out to make things better or improve. You wonder why you ever thought you could accomplish this.

This is a lack of Internal Encouragement for Risk Taking.

But if you deal with this and push forward, you come to:

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Mid-way Collapse

The mid-way collapse is not totally unexpected. Having to persist in the effort to get something done can be wearing, and it does wear you down. All sorts of push-back starts to bubble up from within – this is too much, this too hard, this is boring, this is more than I expected. The lack of the ability to persist becomes overwhelming and disheartening. It’s like crossing a desert with no end in sight. Of course, you will collapse; anyone would.

This is a lack of Persistence to continue with what you’re doing.

But if you deal with this and push forward, you come to:

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It Gets Harder

If you do manage to keep moving forward step by step (persisting), then the unthinkable starts to happen. Things you never considered begin going wrong. Anticipating problems and having the stick-to-it-ness to keep moving ahead is one thing. But when problems and challenges you never anticipated start popping up like weeds in a new garden, this is more than anyone should be expected to handle. This is not just hard; it's getting harder. The expectation to persevere, that is, to keep moving forward when difficult or seemingly impossible barriers continuously emerge one after the other, is beyond the pale. This is unfair and unjust. No way, man, no way!

This is a lack of Perseverance, which is working through difficult and unexpected challenges.

But if you deal with this and push forward, you come to:

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Too Many Set Backs

It’s not just the challenges and problems with what appears to be no way through or around that repeatedly occur. They seem to pile up higher and higher with no relief. This crisis point comes with no relief in sight. Your ability to bounce back has lost its spring. Your resiliency and creativity feel all dried up. You feel overwhelmed again after overcoming many previous times of being overwhelmed. The gas tank is on E, and the idea jar is empty.

This is a lack of Resilience or ability to bounce back.

But if you deal with this and push forward, you come to:

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Can’t Quite Cross the Line

After all this, you are all but there. Those final Herculean pushes must move you over the line and complete what you’ve started. It is the final checklist, the last punch card, and the last line through the tasks to get it done. It’s right at that moment when the old haunting, misbegotten thought returns, “Why bother?” After all, you’ve done and gone through, you’re still not there, and there still remain the last pushes. And if you do them, then what? Will it all be worth it? You want to say yes, to believe, and finally finish, but what if it’s not worth it? If you quit now, no one can say you failed, right?

This is a lack of Tenacious Tenacity, which is the visceral ability to see things through.

But if you deal with this and push forward, you come to:

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Even if I Win, I Lose

You cross the line, you get it done, and perhaps you get it done at an excellent or exceptional level, but you don’t take the win. You don’t own it. You disown it. You refuse it. Instead, you lay claim to criticizing your effort and accomplishment as if it were a saintly and virtuous act to tear your work and yourself down. You nobly snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in a show of self-deprecation and “humility.” For a Perfectionist, there could not be a higher sacrifice. For any sane person, this is ridiculous and a bit melodramatic.

This is a lack of fundamental self-worth and self-respect.

If you don’t deal with this, you deliberately stare into the face of your own Medusa and turn yourself and your performance into a cold, hard stone. It may seem virtuous, but it is really silly.

But if you do deal with it and get past it, then start engaging your brain in new, dynamic, and fundamental ways you remove the heads of your Perfectionistic Monster. What does that look like?

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What Does that Engagement Look Like, and What Changes??

• How you see yourself, other people, and the world.
• How you feel about yourself, other people, and the world.
• How you act toward yourself, other people, and the world.
• How you think about yourself, other people, and the world..
• How you understand who you are, who others are, and what the world is.?

You cannot do one or two of these and expect to slay your Perfectionism. Yes, you pursue each point and move the needle incrementally. Eventually, you must learn to do all five and practice them until they stick, which means a new, strong, reinforced outlook on yourself and your life, which is exactly what you’d expect when freed from the stale, glum, and small world of Perfectionism.