Ego and your leadership agility

When an organisation is experiencing turbulent times, it is vital that leaders can get over their ego drives and adeptly navigate their enterprises for the benefit and well-being of multiple stakeholders, from front-line staff to the communities they serve.

When I coach leaders through difficult times, I often see their optimism and resilience. What matters is how they manage themselves. As a leader, you need the ability to keep a calm head, be mindful of the impact on others, and remain compassionate.

Ego is activated by fear

As part of being human, ego is activated by fear. It kicks in when we consciously, but more often unconsciously, need to protect ourselves. We all have many fear-driven, ego-based behaviours designed to help us survive.

Being under pressure can make you vulnerable to your fear-driven ego. When activated, this brings to life our innate survival strategies, which encourage "me, me, me" and "I'm all right, Jack" behaviour.

The five practices below can help leaders manage their fear and ego reactions, helping them navigate challenging times more efficiently.

1)??? Create space to think

In times of turbulence, it's too easy to get caught up in frenetic activity to address the potential problems. Yet purposeful and intentional action is what is needed. Yes, a degree of pace is required, but not at the cost of ill-thought-through strategies with negative consequences. Coaching conversations create the time to step back, reflect, and think. Placing time in your diary with a coach or colleague or alone allows you to take stock, explore whether the strategy is working, and take a more objective view. Take time to process the situation you are dealing with and make sense of what is going on. This gives us the cognitive wherewithal to create the clarity from which better decisions are made.

Making time and space to do this deepens our insights and understanding of our and others' emotions so we are better placed to make more effective choices.

2)??? Quieten your mind

This is more than allocating time to think. When our brains are in overdrive dealing with multiple situations, constantly receiving and being asked for information and updates, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. Even allowing ourselves 5 minutes of solitude, free of interruption, where we can focus on our breathing, let go of thinking, and get physically grounded and in touch with our body, can have an immediate calming effect that builds resilience and makes us less prone to our ego being activated.

Taking it further, many Mindfulness apps provide guided meditations designed to quiet the mind and calm our adrenal system. Practising for 10-20 minutes in the morning is a great way to set ourselves up for the day, and it has a cumulative effect that strengthens our ability to stay present and alert.

3)??? Choose to be open and curious

Whether it's the result of an action we've taken or direct communication from our colleagues, everything is an opportunity to learn. In times of great uncertainty, maintaining an openness to learning helps us keep moving forward.

When our ego is activated, we can be defensive and maintain a self-righteous position, which risks us getting stuck, repeating mistakes, and blaming others; being open to feedback means suspending our judgement, listening from a place of not knowing all the answers, and being genuinely curious about what is possible. Actively engaging with others and seeking their ideas will encourage them to come forward with innovative solutions that may have remained locked away.

4)??? Manage your energy

During times of stress and difficult situations, we go into overdrive, utilising our energy reserves without paying any attention to how we replenish them. Leaders often say, "This is a marathon, not a sprint". Yet the term "marathon" sounds exhausting, and when tired, we are more vulnerable to reacting from our egos. Breaking our day into a series of shorter "sprints" where we spend a burst of energy and then make sure we top it up can mean we have the physical, emotional and mental reserves to complete the marathon in an "ego-less" way. We must ensure time between meetings to breathe, grab a drink, or get fresh air. Setting clear boundaries for the start and end of our day – even if our days are longer than usual allows adequate time to rest and recover. Doing this keeps our resources topped up and models self-care for our teams to follow.

5)??? Be compassionate with yourself

A destructive part of our ego is our inner critic, who can hold us back and diminish our confidence and well-being. This can cause fear and anxiety, skewing focus towards the negative rather than noticing what we have achieved.

Practising compassion towards yourself is invaluable in enabling you to keep moving forward and reduce stress. Be mindful of how you relate to yourself and your internal voice's language and tone. Accept that things cannot always go right; mistakes will happen. Beating yourself up about this is unhelpful. By being compassionate and understanding with yourself and others, you are more likely to build trust and create a psychologically safe work environment that encourages people to step forward, share ideas, and take the courageous steps needed to tackle the challenges being faced.

In summary, to avoid your ego getting in the way of your leadership agility:

• Create time to think
• Quieten your mind
• Choose to be curious
• Manage your energy