Ego - The You of You

Ego - “The “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought.”  That’s Webster’s definition.  I’m not sure Webster’s definition is large enough to encompass all the individual definitions and meanings assigned to the word Ego.  My definition for the purposes of this article is - “A person’s sense of themself in the world of form and creation.”

Our ego is the lens through which we see ourselves as an object in this continuously, unfolding creation we mentally interpret as reality.  How we want to be perceived by others, combined with how we think others perceive us is the basis of our own ego.  Our portrayal of that conception is how others experience our ego.

Our ego begins forming at birth.  We are born as a blank slate, no sense of self in the world, no socialization or indoctrination to teach us that we are anything other than an infinite loving creation.  When we are born,  we have no inner sense of self either, only the pure, energetic animating force.  Pain (undesirable) and pleasure (desirable) are the only sense we have of our physical selves.  

We progress and differentiate based on feedback from our environment as we grow and gain awareness of the world outside of ourselves.  Sensory data begins to add distinction beyond desirable and undesirable - sweet/sour, loud/quiet, dark/bright for example.  The sensitivity of the distinctions increases exponentially in our formative early experience of life.  This is our natural state, completely open, a blank slate with absolute innate mental well-being at our core.  Then our ego begins to form.

Our ego is created in large part through social conditioning and indoctrination.  Our social conditioning begins at birth, but really starts to kick in as we learn language.  Our interpretations of our physical space through sensory awareness are enhanced and often superimposed by the regimentation and admonitions of our family and social network.   As an example, imagine ego as cling wrap, the transparent plastic film used to seal perishables against contamination.  We can see quite clearly through one layer of the film, but as more and more layers are added it becomes more and more opaque.  That’s how our ego develops.  Our parents add layers and layers of their film, as do our social network of relatives, friends, teachers, religious leaders, politicians, work colleagues, and any other people we spend time with.  The layers become cloudier and more impenetrable and can eventually completely obscure the innocent, natural self of our birth and our innate well-being.

One of the purposes that our ego serves, and serves well for the most part, is our protection.  It begins to form innocently as a security mechanism evaluating events and circumstances around us.  As our ego grows in experience, it learns what is dangerous, what is safe, and what is benign.  It expands in the direction it would seem will keep us the safest.  The more danger it sees, the more layers of protection it adds to enhance our safety and security, much like the cling wrap metaphor above.  The less danger the ego perceives the less it expands, which allows the innate well-being we are born with to thrive.  The most well-adjusted people have an ego nurtured by love, compassion, and kindness that is secure and needs little from the outside world for personal satisfaction and well-being.  Those unfortunate enough to grow and mature in an environment of fear and insecurity develop out-size egos that require outside attention and affirmation.

Regardless of that however, innate well being is still at the core of everyone’s self.  It can never be destroyed, but can be covered up and hidden or forgotten.  As we peel back those layers obscuring the true self, we recognize that they were constructed only of thoughts.  Our ego, which we have nurtured and groomed to represent us in the world of form, is not even real, a house of cards, a series and collection of thoughts that as soon as they are examined lose relevance.

Our growth and personal development requires us to peel back the layers of ego and uncover our innate well being, rediscover the naturalness we had as a child.  The more clarity with which we perceive our true infinitely wonderful self, the more pleasing our experience of life becomes.  And our ego becomes a reflection of that self, compassionate, loving, playful, all the most desirable attributes of a truly successful person.

Does this depiction of ego resonate with you?  

What is your definition, or sense, of ego?

Do you think it is important to be aware of your ego as it impacts your business?

David Wetmore is the founder and CIO (Chief Inspirational Officer) of Intentional Excellence in Columbus Ohio. His passion is solving problems. He assists individuals and organizations with creating new paradigms that allow creativity and insight to flourish. Contact David when you're ready to work on your thinking!  

?(513) 543-6596 [email protected] https://Intentional-excellence-llc.com