Ego Is the Enemy of Growth

Ego is a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance, but it also refers to the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity.

In other words, it locks you into the beliefs, biases and blind spots you've always had. If you are an entrepreneur, for example, it can greatly limit the growth and success of your company. Why? Because you can literally fail to hear and understand the steps your company must follow to achieve success.

"Ego" doesn't just mean to be conceited; it means to be so deep into the persona you've long inhabited that you fail to see the alternatives.

This is why I've spent much of the past couple of years trying to minimize the role that ego plays in my life.

Here are a few of my tactics:

Meditation: Twice a day, I meditate for about 20 minutes. In a relaxed manner, I literally try to leave "Bruce" behind and open myself to universal intelligence. A simpler way to say this is I make room in my head, heart and soul for fresh possibilities to emerge.

Transformational Listening: This is what happens when you listen deeply to another person with the sole intention to allow them to been seen, heard and understood. To do this effectively, you must set aside your own ego (and beliefs), eliminating everything that could block you from seeing the other person. This can be incredibly challenging, because we don't see reality; we see the world through our own biases and preconceptions. In every conversation I have with a client, my intention is to see clearly this person and what matters most to them.

Playfulness: I try not to take myself—or others—too seriously. Instead of cultivating a "personal brand" that locks me into a rigid way of being, I play around with many different possibilities. This is one reason why you probably have seen 50 different headlines on my LinkedIn profile over the past year. I am constantly playing, tinkering and experimenting. My intention is to never lose the ability to change, be flexible and open.

(One downside of this effort is that I tend to be very bad at accepting compliments; when someone tells me I did a great job—or introduces me as an accomplished person—I tend to mumble and nod my head awkwardly.)

That said, I do feel pride and satisfaction when I am able to magnify the talent of my clients, friends and family. Few things make me happier than when I gently nudge someone in a direction that proves fruitful to them. My ability to do this is seldom dependent on any special skill that I possess. Rather, it is often a function of the three tactics I just mentioned, which bring me a certain clarity I can then share with them.

These same three tactics can make a significant difference in the way that you move through the world. But don't just take my word for it; given them a try, and see what happens.

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I am the founder of Bend Reality and Meditate for Peace.

You can find more of my writings at Kasanoff.com , or visit Selflss to learn about my executive coaching practice.