EGGS CONTAIN EGG?! YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS!

EGGS CONTAIN EGG?! YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS!

A Restaurant Operator’s Guide to Continued Success

By Alex Munford

I used to have a whole section about me and my experience up here to build a bit of authority - but I hated it, so these days we’ll get straight into the meaty bits…?

It’s back!

Issue #16 incoming...

I’ve been enjoying a relaxing week off this week! Well, actually I’ve had a week away from the restaurant this week, with limited emails and communication. And it has been, umm, exhausting!

The first 5 days were spent building a second story onto a house - a story as irrelevant as it is long so I shall end it there…

Coupled with the dreaded chicken pox for 3 of my ever expanding litter of small humans and BAM! A week where the luxury of sitting down has evaded me once again.?

Never mind, there's always next month after the birth of our latest addition? Or not. We’ll see.

Anyway - this innate face-noise is not the reason for jumping on here again - Oh No! The reason this week is because I went to a Christening today!

Yes, I know, many a tear shed in joy… my niece’s Christening actually. She’s too young to care or even be aware of her own existence so I’m not really sure what the point of it all is at this age, but nevermind. Nice to be invited.?

Besides, afterwards, there was food!?

This is generally where the investment of my time at all such events pays dividends but alas, not this time!!

Why not, you ask?

Because the creator of this elaborate array of all things beige had absolutely no idea what he was doing! Or, more accurately, his mate from round the corner who loves a sausage roll hasn’t managed to keep up with the ever changing landscape of allergen or food safety, Not that it has really changed much in the UK since 2015…

I took my first bite into a pork pie - my absolute favourite and king of the finger buffet! But holy hell, it was as warm as the weather outside. Clearly sat there all day waiting for some cretin (that’s me) to fancy a bit of food poisoning. YUMMY!!!

Not one to be deterred easily, I continued down the table…

Next up - the beloved sausage roll, followed closely by what should have been a delicious tuna sandwich on a hot summer’s day. But unfortunately, it wasn’t meant to be. All as disgusting as the former, and that is really saying something! This may well have been the worst buffet I have had since my mother in law got remarried again and served raw chicken…?

Now, call me judgemental, (which would be fair because usually I am), but have you ever wondered how some adults make it to an adult age??

I have.

Sometimes it’s great, I find myself full of confidence - you know, ‘if this guy can do it then we’ve got no issues…’

Other times I just find it exasperating… ‘How the heck are you in charge here!?’

This time it was the latter. But unfortunately this shocking food safety wasn’t my biggest surprise of the day - oh no, that trophy goes to the venue’s TOTAL lack of allergen awareness.?

For context, I am one of a growing number of parents on this particular bandwagon who have small people with many an allergy… Most of my brood have 3 each! But this venue manager, not a clue. At one point I had to explain to him that egg mayonnaise does actually contain egg. Every day’s a school day I suppose.?

Not only did he have no idea what was in anything, he took it upon himself to tell me what they could have based on nothing more than their star sign, I think. He seemed to have a pretty good grasp of those.

Fortunately, my 6 year old has a pretty good understanding of what he can and can’t eat and took it upon himself to go through each individual item and tell the manager what was most likely in them. Before whipping out a pre-packed lunch and disappearing beneath that nearest table not to resurface until the bouncy castle inflated.

Sometimes it’s very reassuring to know that no matter how uneducated some are on the topic, my little ones all know that eggs contain egg.

And I think it’s safe to say that if a 6 year old is educating you on a subject, you can consider yourself uneducated on that particular topic.?

Anyway - rant over.?

I did decide to offer my services - just a basic overview of level 2 food safety and some allergen awareness training but this fell on deaf ears… I suspect they were full of all of the untouched sausage rolls!!!!?

Okay- Rant actually over now.

On a serious note though, I have always held the belief that there are only 3 things in our restaurant universe that actually matter:

1. Allergens.
2. Food safety.?
3. Not serving alcohol to drunks or minors.

You get these wrong, people can die.

Everything else is sort of cosmetic.?

Sure, we all want to make a profit and all of our people, processes and policies feed into that, but if it’s at the expense of someone’s life or health, then in my opinion, it’s not worth it.?

Oooooof, that took a turn… maybe next week we’ll discuss unicorns?

Ciao, x